Just Another Guy....
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2007
- Messages
- 86
- Reaction score
- 0
So, when that moment of silence hits in the middle of a conversation, what exactly do you guys say/do?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
What? LOL...Gasonlineonfire...seriously..Who said you comments were horrible? He said "Those MOMENTS" are horrible, not comments.gasolineonfire said:hey do u mind tellin me why my comments r horrible?
it's my 1st hor on Dj n i'm sure ur criticisms will only help me being a better dj...
stay beautiful
:rockon: great advice.hyperactive said:When the conversation runs dry kiss her. Simple as that. If you have to work to keep the conversation going then you are not compatable as anything more than a lay.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Dude, that's amazing...you just described my ex GF to a tee... I didn't realize that I couldn't hold a MEANINGFUL conversation with her until I was in too deep...hyperactive said:B. The kind who likes to chit chat about mundane things, how her day went, etc. She may be a decent listener, or may not. The conversation may go both ways or be one sided but there is a noticable lack of uncomfortable silences between you and her. This type of woman goes best with guys who are not that smart. Otherwise, if the guy is reasonably intellectual, he will have to suffer through alot of idle banter to get laid on a regular basis. These are the kind of women that do not get better with age, meaning the age of your relationship, not her age. As one begins to date her she may seem fun, for she is bubbly and optimistic. But as time goes on the excitement wears off and she starts to just become annoying.
The content of your conversation or story doesn't matter at all. Its only the presentation that's important, its how you actually talk that makes it entertaining. what you really have to do verbally is just to bull**** about anything you want. you know, I think its ok if you even talk about weather and politics, IF you can manage to do it in a playful way. ANYTHING works, as long as you make it interesting and colorful. and the important part in charming people isn't the content of what you say, its what you are indirectly communicating with your gestures and tone of voice. you want to appear as a cool and confident guy who knows what he's doing. that you can't talk about. no. that should be implied in HOW you present your bull****.space said:i need help making conversations, and storytelling. i have 0 storys to tell that that i think will keep people entertained, and i find it really hard to talk to people as i feel ive nothing interesting to talk about, only the simple boring stuff. because of this i find that i dont even attempt to talk to people anymore apart from my own friends.
how can i improve? i need huge help
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.