"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

When someone tells you they are attracted to confidence, they are lying!

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2013
Messages
3,422
Reaction score
1,235
:-) said:
That's because you talk in broad generalisations. You think Life doesn't work out the way you want it to must mean it's the same for everyone else who is the same as you. You lack the intelligence to see beyond the surface of your race and color. That's why you don't hook up with hot blondes. It has nothing to do with your race or color and everything to do with your lack of intelligence. :)
Lol if I weren't intelligent Id probably clean up with women! It's because I'm TOO intelligent that I can't score blonde party girls. They want jacked shaved headed dbags (yep it's a generalization but just walk into a club and see what they go for). I have an IQ of 140 which is a huuuuge turn off to women esp the hot ones. I know my place though; I'm talking to some girls who are more bookish and can have a convo about literature/art etc.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

foreverAFC

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Messages
1,202
Reaction score
137
in my opinion when women say they like confidence what they mean is they like it when attractive guys approach them, thats all.
 

WanderingMan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2015
Messages
345
Reaction score
133
Location
Wandering
Looks - Money - Status is what getting laid is all about. Just ask this guy: Mr. Confident
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

:-)

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Messages
707
Reaction score
40
skinnyguy said:
Lol if I weren't intelligent Id probably clean up with women! It's because I'm TOO intelligent that I can't score blonde party girls. They want jacked shaved headed dbags (yep it's a generalization but just walk into a club and see what they go for). I have an IQ of 140 which is a huuuuge turn off to women esp the hot ones. I know my place though; I'm talking to some girls who are more bookish and can have a convo about literature/art etc.
Then if you were smart you would have hit the gym and shaved your head if that was all it took, but you haven't. I wonder out of all those jacked douchebags with shaved heads how many are really intelligent. Do you know how much of a turn on intelligence is to women? Not academia but real intelligence. Insight? Perspicacity? This kind of intelligence is a rarity and if she finds it will seldom let it go never mind race nor color.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2015
Messages
653
Reaction score
18
skinnyguy said:
Lol if I weren't intelligent Id probably clean up with women! It's because I'm TOO intelligent that I can't score blonde party girls. They want jacked shaved headed dbags (yep it's a generalization but just walk into a club and see what they go for). I have an IQ of 140 which is a huuuuge turn off to women esp the hot ones. I know my place though; I'm talking to some girls who are more bookish and can have a convo about literature/art etc.
Adjust your conversation for the environments your in. You don't have to advertise your intelligence.

You could also change your targets to one who would desire someone who is more brainy. Some women love that, and it stimulates their mind.

Other women will try to shut it down or make you look stupider than them.
 

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,000
Reaction score
1,669
DiegoSantori said:
The truth is:

Be good looking / Be rich ---> get validation from women ---> develop confidence as a result ---> be even more attractive because you're confident ---> get even more validation from women ----> etc.

Confidence is merely a byproduct of success. You need some kind of social/sexual/romantic success before you can have genuine confidence. Confidence without success is delusional and/or dishonest, thus fake, and others will quickly recognize it as such.
Success, social or sexual, doesn't mean confidence. Success could mean you know the right people and know how to spin things to screw people (think stocks), or that you can memorize a book (doctor) or have good looks (model) None of these things mean confidence. You get the right person to outsmart them, they would be crushed back to the Stone Age.

Think its more about don't say dumb things, and let people know that they aren't dealing with an idiot who was born yesterday.

And the only validation you should get from a women is her body or her money. Anything else is garbage.
 

ChemGod

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 3, 2014
Messages
79
Reaction score
4
Location
Near you
DiegoSantori said:
The truth is:

Be good looking / Be rich ---> get validation from women ---> develop confidence as a result ---> be even more attractive because you're confident ---> get even more validation from women ----> etc.

Confidence is merely a byproduct of success. You need some kind of social/sexual/romantic success before you can have genuine confidence. Confidence without success is delusional and/or dishonest, thus fake, and others will quickly recognize it as such.


The Myth Of Confidence:

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/04/08/the-myth-of-confidence/
I think this is true but I dont think its a law of nature, there can be exceptions. I think its true because this recently happened to me. I noticed girls responding to me better, so I became more confident, which attracted girls, which made me more confident, etc.
 

PeasantPlayer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2013
Messages
3,069
Reaction score
946
Someone wrote a comment under the article I mentioned in my initial post, which perfectly sums up the truth about "confidence":

Imagine an ugly guy going to a party and having confidence in himself - in the end he's going to get rejected by all the girls, who want to talk to the good looking guy instead. In fact, even if the good looking guy was shy, indecisive etc... the girls would still prefer him over the ugly guy even if the ugly guy felt like the king of the world!
Not true at all.....I know plenty of dudes who are ugly as ****, but have confidence and are extroverts and sure of themselves nailing ladies left and right. Looks is not everything. It can get you in the door, but it can't stop the door from closing. I know one dude who is my dude and I hate to say this he is one ugly mother****er and he kills it with the ladies, while other better looking dudes don't because they have no self esteem, no personality or body language
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

MillionBillionaire

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2013
Messages
953
Reaction score
447
Age
41
Location
Minnesota
Troll @ss thread... coming from a guy that used to have social anxiety.. go fvck yourself... with confidence.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,791
Reaction score
10,018
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Women are not attracted to internal confidence, they are attracted to external displays of confidence.

A natural extrovert thus will appear confident.

An introvert can watch and mimic the extrovert.
Fvck extroverts. Extroverts require the attention of others more than introverts.

I agree women like bold action, however.

VladPatton said:
Completely untrue. I've seen this exact situation in the flesh. The naturally charismatic guy made out like a bandit and was a hit at the party because he had a "way" about him that exuded fun.
I don't that having a fun, charismatic personality is necessarily the same thing as being confident, however. Those are two different things. Certainly guys with charismatic, fun personalities can attract women, even if they aren't the best looking guy. What if a guy has a dull personality and is confident, though? Lol.

DaddyLongShanks said:
Confidence which is also affirmed externally is much more resilient and you SHOULD seek it.
They also say in the community that you should not seek validation. But as you say, if your confidence can be confirmed externally it may grow much stronger.

There is a PUA guru I read, I think it was the Tao of Badass, it recommends seeking validation so you have a firm base for your confidence. Like he said something to a girl about how he was hot, and she laughed but said "Yeah, I guess you are kind of hot". So he stated his belief, it was confirmed externally, and he was able to firmly believe it from then on.

Espi said:
I personally do not think that confidence always stems from a byproduct of success. Often, confidence PRECEDES success. And often, people have success while feeling zero confidence. So, I'm not convinced that success guarantees confidence. With some people and in some situations, yes. But not every time.
Success doesn't necessarily guarantee confidence, and confidence doesn't necessarily guarantee success. It can go both ways. Like you say, it can be different with different people and different situations.

Some guys don't have a lot to work with but believe in themselves and make something out of it. Some guys have the tools but don't know how to put it together. I don't know if it's all confidence, necessarily, and I think the whole "Women love confidence" thing is overblown, but it's a factor.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2015
Messages
653
Reaction score
18
It's a lot of guys without a fine mug but a "banging body" and confidence by the barrel that women fall for more than the pretty boy.
 

mangotot

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
1,111
Reaction score
23
What a rubbish article. Glad so many posters above corrected this unhelpful piece of $hit. Even if you are not confident, not yet super good looking, styled up etc etc, you still do it. All these small steps will help you become confident. And as others have said said above, once you become confident the world is the oyster.
 

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2013
Messages
3,422
Reaction score
1,235
Confidence or not, social circle game is still king. You can score HB 9 with the right social circle game.

Ugly guys who don't have friends will struggle even with a ton of confidence.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

:-)

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Messages
707
Reaction score
40
skinnyguy said:
Confidence or not, social circle game is still king. You can score HB 9 with the right social circle game.

Ugly guys who don't have friends will struggle even with a ton of confidence.
Do you know how exception to the rules become exception to the rules? They ignore the rules and don't keep on repeating them like some mantra.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,791
Reaction score
10,018
Some people say that confidence is analogous to having a positive attitude, and I do think you will usually do better with a positive attitude than a negative one.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,791
Reaction score
10,018
double
 

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2013
Messages
3,422
Reaction score
1,235
zekko said:
Some people say that confidence is analogous to having a positive attitude, and I do think you will usually do better with a positive attitude than a negative one.
I agree. I'll grant you guys this - confidence and charisma can lead to more approaches which can lead to more dates.

Obviously confidence is not a bad thing. But it won't automatically turn you into a vagina magnet. You need other qualities to go with it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Top