When someone tells you they are attracted to confidence, they are lying!

[DiegoSantori]

The truth is:

Be good looking / Be rich ---> get validation from women ---> develop confidence as a result ---> be even more attractive because you're confident ---> get even more validation from women ----> etc.

Confidence is merely a byproduct of success. You need some kind of social/sexual/romantic success before you can have genuine confidence. Confidence without success is delusional and/or dishonest, thus fake, and others will quickly recognize it as such.


The Myth Of Confidence:

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/04/08/the-myth-of-confidence/

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

The truth is:

Be good looking / Be rich ---> get validation from women ---> develop confidence as a result ---> be even more attractive because you're confident ---> get even more validation from women ----> etc.

Confidence is merely a byproduct of success. You need some kind of social/sexual/romantic success before you can have genuine confidence. Confidence without success is delusional and/or dishonest, thus fake, and others will quickly recognize it as such.


The Myth Of Confidence:

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/04/08/the-myth-of-confidence/

No it's not fake, it's just not as thick and can be shook.

Confidence which is also affirmed externally is much more resilient and you SHOULD seek it.

For people starting out in this game, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to get your D1CK W3T. Get it w3t and get it w3t often.

Stop masturbating. Setup your life so you have sex available on demand.

You can then start worry about raising the level of your game, but you have to start somewhere.

 

[BrainDamage92]

I think every person has good qualities that can be harvested by society for the benefit of everyone. I think that once you realise this you will be much more confident.

I think that getting ***** isnt all that important in the end, I believe that it goes a little further. I have looks, not alot of money and status but in my country as an older Russian lady put it "Your men are hot but the women are ugly", and the "women are ugly" part of course is not true she was being mean

Physical attraction is all based on differences in looks I think - like darker types fall for blonder bright eyed types and in reverse. Its all very much like that I think few people realise it.

I notice that girls who dig me mostly have brighter eyes and abit darker complexion in contrast to myself.



Just stack that paper, have hobbies, go out with buddies, go fishing or whatever, go out drinking, ***** in general brings more problems. People nowadays are too lazy to adjust their personalities to one another so if you want to find THE ONE search for someone like yourself, its funny how many of them start crawling out the woodwork once you get the right mindset and that is-

BE REAL. BE YOURSELF. EXPRESS YOURSELF. IF YOU HAVE AN UNPOPULAR OPINION SAY IT. IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE INTERESTS THAT NOBODY SHARES THIS IS UNTRUE.

If you and 19 other people are put in a room and asked the same question and the other 19 say "YES", but you think the answer is "NO", what would you say. It all comes down to this.

Express yourself.

 

[skinnyguy]

The truth is:

Be good looking / Be rich ---> get validation from women ---> develop confidence as a result ---> be even more attractive because you're confident ---> get even more validation from women ----> etc.

Confidence is merely a byproduct of success. You need some kind of social/sexual/romantic success before you can have genuine confidence. Confidence without success is delusional and/or dishonest, thus fake, and others will quickly recognize it as such.


The Myth Of Confidence:

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/04/08/the-myth-of-confidence/

This article was spot on. You can't turn on confidence like a light switch.

Also: an confident ugly guy is creepy. A confident hot guy is sexy.

 

[Mike32ct]

This article was spot on. You can't turn on confidence like a light switch.

Also: an confident ugly guy is creepy. A confident hot guy is sexy.

I agree with the OP and your reply.

Just a side question...

We know that a confident ugly guy is creepy. But isn't it worse to be a nervous/awkward non-confident ugly guy? Doesn't that increase the creep factor even more?

 

[Roni_88]

I agree with the OP and your reply.

Just a side question...

We know that a confident ugly guy is creepy. But isn't it worse to be a nervous/awkward non-confident ugly guy? Doesn't that increase the creep factor even more?

I think that no matter if you are ugly or good looking natural confidence is what really helps you,, which many factors fall into that to build that natural state which is definitely not as easy for everyone

 

[DiegoSantori]

Someone wrote a comment under the article I mentioned in my initial post, which perfectly sums up the truth about "confidence":

Imagine an ugly guy going to a party and having confidence in himself - in the end he's going to get rejected by all the girls, who want to talk to the good looking guy instead. In fact, even if the good looking guy was shy, indecisive etc... the girls would still prefer him over the ugly guy even if the ugly guy felt like the king of the world!

 

[VladPatton]

Someone wrote a comment under the article I mentioned in my initial post, which perfectly sums up the truth about "confidence":

Imagine an ugly guy going to a party and having confidence in himself - in the end he's going to get rejected by all the girls, who want to talk to the good looking guy instead. In fact, even if the good looking guy was shy, indecisive etc... the girls would still prefer him over the ugly guy even if the ugly guy felt like the king of the world!

Completely untrue. I've seen this exact situation in the flesh. The naturally charismatic guy made out like a bandit and was a hit at the party because he had a "way" about him that exuded fun. That's it. He was an ugly motherfvucker, too, and it did NOT harm his night. He was funny and gave the girls lil mini orgasms just through humor. The guy gave 2 sh!ts about his face.

Even in the article it states that confidence is a byproduct of success. He talks to girls, they laugh, he gets dates and pvssy. That's it. That's his super secret formula. Shocking t'aint it!?

And no, it is not fake to be confident. You become confident in your own being. If you think everything in life sucks, your face sucks, your life sucks, well you're not going to get **** done in this world. It's all point of view. Perspective.

For every good looking shy guy there are just as charismatic ugly bastards. At the end of the day you need all the good qualities rolled up into one, not just a few of them.

 

[:-)]

Rubbish. A guy at work who resembles this guy: Image from http://www.beano.com/media/80776/character-bash-plug.jpg.

Is currently banging the hottest chick in the office. He's a also a really nice guy. Buys sweets and treats for everyone and is really generous. But he's also a confident man. He doesn't take sh1t from anyone and knows his own mind even if he's wrong most of the time. He's also quite short at 5'8 at best.

This thread is an untruth that should be heeded by no-one.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Rubbish. A guy at work who resembles this guy: Image from http://www.beano.com/media/80776/character-bash-plug.jpg.

Is currently banging the hottest chick in the office. He's a also a really nice guy. Buys sweets and treats for everyone and is really generous. But he's also a confident man. He doesn't take sh1t from anyone and knows his own mind even if he's wrong most of the time. He's also quite short at 5'8 at best.

This thread is an untruth that should be heeded by no-one.

There are exceptions to everything, I certainly don't see this often and I bet you don't either.

 

[:-)]

There are exceptions to everything, I certainly don't see this often and I bet you don't either.

It doesn't matter if I see it often or not. I only need to see it once to know that what you say is false.

 

[Peña]

False.

Women are not attracted to internal confidence, they are attracted to external displays of confidence.

A natural extrovert thus will appear confident.

An introvert can watch and mimic the extrovert.

Wrong. If you do not have the internal confidence your external confidence will be fake and women will see it. Faking confidence outwards does not work when your inside is nervous and not confident. Trying to mimic being confident is not the same as truly being confident. The weak man can not master the great man only from mimicking him. It will always show on your face and body language you are not really confident. Women will lose attraction. I assume you fake your confidence? Work on becoming truly confident so you do not have to mimic being fake confident. That is not a confident man.

 

[guru1000]

Track record ==> True confidence

Die trying ==> Track Record

Thinking model ==> Die trying

 

[ZTIME]

The truth is:

Be good looking / Be rich ---> get validation from women ---> develop confidence as a result ---> be even more attractive because you're confident ---> get even more validation from women ----> etc.

Confidence is merely a byproduct of success. You need some kind of social/sexual/romantic success before you can have genuine confidence. Confidence without success is delusional and/or dishonest, thus fake, and others will quickly recognize it as such.


The Myth Of Confidence:

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/04/08/the-myth-of-confidence/

Good thread, but in truth if you are teaching people to build self confidence based on their looks and the validation of others, then you are building people with no true confidence at all.

Confidence is not a byproduct of success. Generally speaking it takes confidence to be successful. Seems like we're putting the cart before the horse.

Truly, a good looking guy will attract more women and eat from the higher fruit on the tree, but looks will only get you so far. So a 10 guy may get more, but it's not impossible for a 7 guy to achieve the same results or even better with the right amount of confidence, but that requires being truly "self confident" which requires no validation from women.

Hell, if I did that, the only way that I'd ever be right is if a women told me so. Sorry, not the path I want to take. Good luck though and happy posting.

Also, walking through life searching for the validation of others truly leaves your confidence level in their hands, which by the way is how the majority of men end up here.

 

[Peña]

Don't need to address your insults to erase your argument.

1. NPD men are not confident, it is a psychological fact.
2. Thugs from broken single parent homes and neglected childhoods are not confident, they are incredibly insecure.
3. NPD men and Thugs are seen by women as confident.

Take the pvssy off the pedestal, women don't read minds they fall for the lie constantly. Just like men fall for fake nice women.

No insults. Where are they? Stop trying to peddle your fake confidence when you do not have it yourself. You are putting pvssy on a pedestal being fake to get them. The very definition of a pedestal. If you have real confidence you do not elevate women on your pedestal to mimic confident men to get women. Your pedestal is very high since it is that important to you to get women.

You said I "fake confidence" lol. Read the OP, the whole point is that you cant be confident without success with women, it has cause and effect reversed. I know you are ESL but try really hard.

False.

Women are not attracted to internal confidence, they are attracted to external displays of confidence.

A natural extrovert thus will appear confident.

An introvert can watch and mimic the extrovert.

Here you are taking about fake confidence so that must mean you practice fake confidence. I was not talking about the OP I was talking about not agreeing with your false internal confidence claim. Weak on the inside will make you weak on the outside. It shows all over your face and body language. I know you do not know much about the law you practice not knowing laws are different in each state.

 

[skinnyguy]

There are exceptions to everything, I certainly don't see this often and I bet you don't either.

People on this site love to refute your argument with very rare exceptions.

Kind of like when they say " I know this one Indian guy who is dating a white girl" :crackup:

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

This is true for most people. However there are those select few who genuinely do not care and thus are confident as a byproduct of THAT.

 

[:-)]

People on this site love to refute your argument with very rare exceptions.

Kind of like when they say " I know this one Indian guy who is dating a white girl" :crackup:

That's because you talk in broad generalisations. You think Life doesn't work out the way you want it to must mean it's the same for everyone else who is the same as you. You lack the intelligence to see beyond the surface of your race and color. That's why you don't hook up with hot blondes. It has nothing to do with your race or color and everything to do with your lack of intelligence.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Let me rephrase it for you one time:

Confidence is the reward from your brain for you because you have success. So, you are naturally developing confidence because your brain wants to show you: "Well done. Keep it up. You're amazing."

The problem is, when you have no success and you are telling yourself that you're amazing nonetheless, your brain is not producing the chemicals that would make you naturally feel confident. So, there is a dissonance between your self-image and your brain chemicals.

You're rewarding yourself even though there is no reason to be rewarded. That's why it is fake, that's why it is not the same as real confidence that shines from the inside out.

So, when you fail and get rejected, don't tell yourself that you're amazing nonetheless, don't delude yourself with your coping mechanisms. Instead, humble yourself, analyze the situation objectively and face the truth.

When you have success, however, your brain will reward you with genuine, inimitable confidence that is dependent on external validation. And then you will naturally keep on doing what you do because your body chemicals reward you for your success.

 

[:-)]

Let me rephrase it for you one time:

Confidence is the reward from your brain for you because you have success. So, you are naturally developing confidence because your brain wants to show you: "Well done. Keep it up. You're amazing."

The problem is, when you have no success and you are telling yourself that you're amazing nonetheless, your brain is not producing the chemicals that would make you naturally feel confident. So, there is a dissonance between your self-image and your brain chemicals.

You're rewarding yourself even though there is no reason to be rewarded. That's why it is fake, that's why it is not the same as real confidence that shines from the inside out.

So, when you fail and get rejected, don't tell yourself that you're amazing nonetheless, don't delude yourself with your coping mechanisms. Instead, humble yourself, analyze the situation objectively and face the truth.

When you have success, however, your brain will reward you with genuine, inimitable confidence that is dependent on external validation. And then you will naturally keep on doing what you do because your body chemicals reward you for your success.

What? Failure is key to success. Just ask any bodybuilder.