"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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When should One Chase?

Fly By Night

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If you talk to a girl and get put down, should you continue?

A girl told me I was too forward, I stopped contacting her. I then realized how weak I was once I let a single sentence stop me from what I want.

A girl ignored me while I talked to her, I guess I negged her a little, a week later I asked for her number, we proceeded to go on a date a few days after.

A girl refuses to kiss me. A few minutes of dancing and groping, she's making out with me in the corner.

A girl refuses to take off her panties in bed with me. A month of dates go by, panties come off.

They didn't show me interest. They didn't do what I wanted them to do when I wanted them to do it. Doesn't this go against AD's Machine?

Or is this the practice of Patience and Persistence?

I understand complete blowouts happen, but, how many of you DJ's continue to try and get a girl after you get somewhat rejected?


Personally, I can't seem to just stop after getting rejected once. IME, girls usually won't let you know their interested that much until they feel comfortable with you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bushmaster

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Fly By Night said:
A girl refuses to take off her panties in bed with me. A month of dates go by, panties come off.
A month of dates? DEMAND she take them off if she's in bed with you.
 

Aristippus

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Fly said: "A girl refuses to kiss me. A few minutes of dancing and groping, she's making out with me in the corner."

What's happening here is she was giving you other signals that she was interested. She turned the kiss down the first time but before then she was probably showing a few signs that she was interested. She just wasn't ready to kiss in that moment. But immediately after she agrees to dance with you, meaning she still wanted to hang around. She enjoyed the dancing and groping, probably was feeling you up too, and got turned on and was ready to kiss you.

If a woman shows you a dozen signals that she is interested and then rejects one advance, like a kiss, it simply means she wasn't ready or you moved forward too soon. If she's still hanging around after that, touching you excessively during the conversation, holding your hand, or in your case, grinding heavily with you AFTER she turns down the kiss, she's still showing patterns of high interest behavior. Don't obsess over one behavior. Look at her entire behavior pattern in the immediate past and present time. Observe her REPEATED BEHAVIORS. If her repeated behaviors are showing high interest. and then she rejects a particular advance, but continues her high interest behaviors, it was simply a bump in the road.

Your timing was a little off or you didn't move forward smoothely at the right time. No worries..... In an opposite scenario, if a woman's behavior is cold and distant and then you try for a kiss and she rejects it, the overall pattern was that of a woman of low interest. A cold, distant woman has low interest and you can foretell that she won't welcome a kiss, because her interest is low. This is because her repeated behaviors keep sending the same message. Do not obsess over ONE behavior. Look at the repeated behaviors from the recent past and present. If she rejects an advance but keeps acting interested, then you know she might welcome a kiss later.
 

youngmack

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Aristippus said:
Fly said: "A girl refuses to kiss me. A few minutes of dancing and groping, she's making out with me in the corner."

What's happening here is she was giving you other signals that she was interested. She turned the kiss down the first time but before then she was probably showing a few signs that she was interested. She just wasn't ready to kiss in that moment. But immediately after she agrees to dance with you, meaning she still wanted to hang around. She enjoyed the dancing and groping, probably was feeling you up too, and got turned on and was ready to kiss you.

If a woman shows you a dozen signals that she is interested and then rejects one advance, like a kiss, it simply means she wasn't ready or you moved forward too soon. If she's still hanging around after that, touching you excessively during the conversation, holding your hand, or in your case, grinding heavily with you AFTER she turns down the kiss, she's still showing patterns of high interest behavior. Don't obsess over one behavior. Look at her entire behavior pattern in the immediate past and present time. Observe her REPEATED BEHAVIORS. If her repeated behaviors are showing high interest. and then she rejects a particular advance, but continues her high interest behaviors, it was simply a bump in the road.

Your timing was a little off or you didn't move forward smoothely at the right time. No worries..... In an opposite scenario, if a woman's behavior is cold and distant and then you try for a kiss and she rejects it, the overall pattern was that of a woman of low interest. A cold, distant woman has low interest and you can foretell that she won't welcome a kiss, because her interest is low. This is because her repeated behaviors keep sending the same message. Do not obsess over ONE behavior. Look at the repeated behaviors from the recent past and present. If she rejects an advance but keeps acting interested, then you know she might welcome a kiss later.
But sometimes she may just be an attention wh0re. There are girls who play games like have u touch them,they touch you, flirt with you,etc.. give u all the signals but act cold and distant the next day. Sh1t is happening to be right now but it dosen't affect me one bit because i'm indifferent and outcome dependent. I havent invested anything emotionally
 

Fatal Jay

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in my experience chasing is futile, if you have to chase her interest levels are low anyway, and I notice dude said a month in dated you put in work for that vagina, which means she runs you
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Aristippus

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Youngmack,

You can usually spot these types a mile away. They throw their attention around and show flambouyant displays of affection to EVERY guy in the room. These type of women give the signals to every guy so they really can't be taken seriously.

Their displays of attention and affection have no meaning because they give it away so freely to anyone. Their signals have no meaning, no value, and are cheapened because there is nothing special about it. The beautiful thing is, reading signals of high interest won't work on these "attention wh0res", as you call them. We're not interested in these types of women. For all practical purposes, we consider attention wh*res women of low value, low quality, and low character so we really don't even CARE whether or not these types are interested and would REJECT her if she made advances towards us.

Now, the good thing is, what I mentioned above WILL WORK with the types of women we're interested in. These are women of quality with genuine interest. We don't have to guess because her affections and attention are only reserved for a man she is actually interested in. Her attention isn't all over the place and she isn't flirting with every guy in the place.

I know a man who married a flambouyant attention wh*re. She never stopped the flirting with other guys while they were dating and even when they were engaged. I thought he was stupid for marrying a woman who is NOT good wife material. The last time I saw her, she was flirting with me AT HIS PLACE. Like Rodney Dangerfield, from her he got no respect, i tell ya! No respect! I haven't seen either of them in a couple of years but unfortunately, I know she wears the pants in the family and I wouldn't be surprised if sooner or later she cheats on him. But he would have to be stupid or blind not to see how she is because she openly flirts with every guy she sees. Poor guy is going to be miserable if he isn't already.
 

BMX

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No chasing. Case closed.
 

Mike32ct

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Being persistent with someone you met that night who won't kiss you immediately but otherwise seemed interested... That's fine.

Pursuing multiple broads to get some 'tang and break a dry spell... Ok.

Chasing a particular broad to make her your girlfriend... HELL NO. This is doomed to failure in my experience.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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VladPatton

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If you truly feel shes an out-of-this-world amazing girl and you want to spend a very large amount of time and worry on her, then by all means, pursue. Beware, you will get extremely close to stalkerdom and it will not increase her attraction, nor your chances.

If you are content in your life and you feel no need to immediately have this girl at all costs, then let her go when she refuses you twice.
 

Kawai

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Bushmaster said:
A month of dates? DEMAND she take them off if she's in bed with you.
I've had to kick two girls out of my apartment after midnight for not taking the panties off after getting in bed and making out (and they had no good explanation, as in biological).
 

Aristippus

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One thing I forgot to mention that I agree with is that you shouldn't be chasing women. Let them come to you.
 

Fly By Night

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Have you guys ever watched the Jamie Foxx Show? Jamie was always hitting on Fancy as an attempt to get in her pants. Some episodes she just shut him down and other times she would actually take him up on a date. But the thing was, he never really stopped going after other women. As soon as another hot chick walked into the hotel, he would start approaching her, lol. He sort of developed oneitis for her, but I guess anyone would after spending a lot of time with one particular woman.

Right now, I'm only 20, and I want to maximize my experience to have it in hand for further years. That is my current short term goal. I can only read so much material here, I need to actually get on dates and get out in the field, even if she doesn't have sky high interest in me. Because it's not very often a woman is willing to go out of her way to see me. I understand a woman must be super interested in you to stay by your side and I plan to find a woman of this type, but I'm not exactly looking to marry someone right now. :whistle: So right now as long as she doesn't flake on me or disrespect me, she's good enough to date. My eyes are wide open guys.

I'm not a 10/10 guy (in looks nor status), I don't understand how I can start expecting women to chase me at this point of my life. I truly believe I'm a great guy, but I got to be realistic here. I could go around dateless for 10 years constantly telling myself that I am the great catch, but I'm just fooling myself if I don't make the effort.

EDIT: I hope you guys don't think I'm chasing every single girl I deal with, because that's not the case.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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