When she's giving mixed signals or playing hard to get..

[playerone]

... what do DJs do?

Would appreciate it if there's a more in-depth analysis instead of the usual next-ing.

 

[jeffthechef]

stop analyzing the outer and focus on the inner

What would a dj do? simple.
He has a few choices.
1. Next her if she's not worth it.
2. If she is worth it, then make her decide...Go up to her and ask her to hang or number close.

Why try to figure out why she's playing hard to get or trying to confuse you? Is she giving you mixed signals? Perhaps you're miscomprehending her "get the **** away from me" signals for "do me" signals...Once you begin analyzing girls and their moves/actions/words/etc, you lose. You lose time, energy, and your life.

Perhaps you aren't looking into this as much as I think you are. Either way, don't worry about it. If you see her as a potential gf or something of the sort, number close and take her out. Then, you'll have a better idea and an even better idea if she does accept, and you guys go out somewhere where you can escalate.

 

[playerone]

I mean after you know the girl and went out with her a few times, she's giving mixed signals.

Not when approaching.

 

[jeffthechef]

If she's giving mixed signals after a few times out, it's usually bad.

There's still a possibility that you're reading her wrong.

BUT

If you are extremely confident that they are mixed signals, there are a few explanations. And, my solutions are in order from what i believe is best to worst. Of course, I cannot tell you which is the right explanation. But, here are a few scenarios.

1. She's sort of interested in you, but there's another guy she's hoping will make a move soon. Basically, you're the guy she's settling for either way and her mixed signals are a way of keeping you on her hook but not pulling you in or letting you go.

Solutions: 1. Move on 2. Keep gaming her to get some 3. Keep gaming her until she settles for you

2. She wants you to try harder.

Solutions: 1. Try harder 2. If you don't do 1, you'll get no where

3. She's simply ****ing around with you for her pleasure, but not the good ****ing

Solutions: 1. Get her to **** you for real 2. Start ****ing around with her mind


It would help if you could be more specific as to what you mean by mixed signals or playing hard to get. Could you give some examples or background information?

 

[playerone]

Okay. I give you a scenario on 1 of my plates. This girl has a boyfriend, and she can't make a decision whether to break up with him or not. We went out on 2 occasions.

If i don't contact her, she will text me, pm me.

When i do contact her, she replies very quickly.

She just asked me to go to her school to accompany her during her break in between lessons, which of course, I am not going to.

I want to cut off contact with her, but she will just end up texting me as usual.

The vibe i'm feeling from her is, she has a boyfriend with many problems, and is unclear of where the relationship is heading. But, I gamed her and she is starting to be attracted. She wants to hold on to me, while she tries to come up with a decision over her current shaky relationship (which may never happen), and if they do break up, she wants me immediately.

That is how i honestly feel and i shan't lie or fabricate any part of the story.

The question is, do i keep gaming her?

I'm thinking of hanging around, not being too available, stop asking her out (she's mostly busy with school anyway), be indifferent towards her by stop initiating contact as much as before, while the rest of the game still apply.

 

[jeffthechef]

I had a somewhat simliar situation before...

I made a new friend halfway through the year, not this year but a while ago, and she had a bf...I hardly talked to her, cept for a few times on aim...She always said i was like a brother, but i never really wanted to game her anyways...One night we talk on the phone for a long time...and she ended up telling me that she was going to break up with her bf soon so we could go out...This was back when i was an afc...but she ended up cheating on me...i caught her hehe....kinda my fault kinda hers...

that's why i try not to game a girl i want when she's with someone..she may genuinely want you more, but you never know if she could do it again to you if another guy comes along...

and if you do convince her to break it up...it'll be forced..so don't do that...but idk if you wnat to wait aorund for her...go games some other girls..and let this one play out without too much interference

 

[playerone]

I made it clear to her i don't do girls with boyfriends.

And she was always speechless when i said that. She doesn't mention her boyfriend while we're interacting, though.

Well i'll try not to initiate contact too much, unless she texts me first. I'll hang around in case they break up. But she's my only plate for now, so it kind of sucks.

 

[jeffthechef]

why is she your only plate?

i'm sure there are many attractive girls at school..go approach more...if you truly believe she's the only good looking one then you have oneitis

get more plates..it's not hard...after my oneitis i had 15 plates...but then i read in one of the dj newsletters "not all girls are worth gaming"..so now i keep it between 3-8..but not set in stone.

try get more

 

[Igetit!]

Would appreciate it if there's a more in-depth analysis instead of the usual next-ing.

Oh....so you want a more "in depth" analysis. Ok,let's see:You say she has a boyfriend,but yet she's gone out with you two times. She giving you mixed signal,yet she continues to stay in a relationship with her boyfriend.
Well,it looks to me like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. This is what's know as "spare tire sydrome". She's treating you like a spare tire. She doesn't really want to have to use you,she just wants to keep you around "just in case". You say that she can't make a decision between you and her boyfriend,but what you don't seem to realize is that she's already made a decision. She's giving you mixed signal when she's with you,but she's making out and doing whatever it is that high school kids do with her boyfriend. She has a boyfriend,right? She's still with him,right? Well,there's her decision right there. She's not stuck in the middle of the road,you are,because you're waiting on her to give you the green light. DJs don't do this,they create what they want,they don't sit around waiting for a girl to say,"Ok,you have my permission. You can date me now". If a DJ can't find what he wants with one girl,he moves on and creates it with another.

 

[playerone]

Maybe it's because i'm not getting to know more girls after i got to know her.

She's the kind of girl that I can actually have fun talking to.

That's why i'm kind of hoping it'll work out rather than just giving her the boot.

Anyways, if i stop contacting her, and she texts or calls me first, what would i do? I can't possibly ignore her totally.

 

[Igetit!]

Maybe it's because i'm not getting to know more girls after i got to know her.

Yeah,that's possible. It's best to have more than just one girl on the radar screen. That way you don't have to worry about oneitis,plus if you run into a situaion like this,you can easily let her go and focus more of your attention onto the others who don't have any hangups.

She's the kind of girl that I can actually have fun talking to.

There's nothing wrong with this. If your goal is fun,then hey,keep on talking with her. However,if your goal is to date,then more than likely,you're wasting your time. I'm not telling you to stop,it's your time.You can do whatever you want to do. I just don't want you to be tricked or deceived into thinking that you hanging out with her is leading you to one thing when it's really not.

That's why i'm kind of hoping it'll work out rather than just giving her the boot.

Agaiin,I'm not saying to give her the boot...BUT,I AM SAYING not to put your life on hold while she's stuck in "maybe/might/I don't know" land. If she want to waste her time stuck in the middle of making a decision,then fine,let her. But don't let her decision keep you single/alone.

Anyways, if i stop contacting her, and she texts or calls me first, what would i do? I can't possibly ignore her totally.

Ok,this is where it gets a little tricky:I'll try to explain this as clearly as I can.
You say that if you stop contacting her,and she calls or text you first,what should you do:first of all,you need to understand why it is that she'd contact you. If she doesn't like you or isn't attracted to you now,then if you go no contact and she calls/text you out of the blue first,it's NOT because she's interested in you,it's because she misses you.
If you two talk all the time,then you go 3 days without calling her,then she calls you,it's because she misses you. Don't fool yourself into thinking that she called you because she all of the sudden has decided to make a decision,or because she's decided to leave her boyfriend and date you now.

So if you want to go the no contact route and let her call you,then cool,do it. Just understand why she calls you if she does.

 

[playerone]

Honestly, i know she is attracted to a level that she would want to talk to me instead of her boyfriend, according to her.

She gets shy sometimes around me, maybe it's because of my confidence and stuff. I actually give major eye contact when i talk to her, and she always looks away after a mere few seconds.

I guess she'll take a few more outings to be totally comfortable and stop being shy.

However, i do realise that she may never come to a decision over me and her boyfriend.

Right now, i've decided to keep gaming her, while i find other plates. She's just keeping me occupied, and at the same time, we're having fun. And FUN is the whole point.

 

[TheEnergizer]

And FUN is the whole point.

Yeeahhh!! i tell myself that everytime i walk into a new room nowadays, and i get into a fun talkative mood EVERY time because, well, socializing and talking to people is fun, especially if you yourself are in a fun talkative mood because then everyone is having fun! yayy! make people laugh! have a good time! just have FUN! then all your analyzing, all your insecurities and all your worries and anxiety just go away. every time. thats why i'm never afraid to speak up and talk anymore (used to be shy) because i dont care, im just having fun, and if you gotta problem with that, then your just a boring old shrew, and i dont wanna talk to you anyway. haha

i think i overreacted... but still, its a critically important piece of advice, i would make a thread, but i think everyone already knows this!! i hope! cuz i kinda only just realized this... but im glad
...lighten up d00d... i should make that my sig....