When she wants to live together with you.

[Gamisch]

Maybe she came back "submissive" cause she ran out of options? And you improving and doing the work in yourself shown her what she lost?

The same issues that led to end of the relationship are still there, and will come back, an ex is an ex for a reason. Its hard like you say, but deep down in your gut, you know its wrong.

The submissive part isn't what I asked for. I asked her for nothing, agreed to meet up again and made it perfectly clear I dont want a LTR.

I definitely made tons of progress. Ive been in therapy and it worked great for me. I am way ,way calmer mostly due having no expectations anymore .

Hang on am i reading this right .......you have already lived with this girl and have a child with her ?

To be clear I dont have a child with this woman. I just said it to make clear it's not the first time I would do something like this.

If she moves in with you, ALL the things that bother/bothered you will be amplified a hundredfold.

It is virtually never a good idea to have a woman move in with you. It will complicate your life in ways that most men can’t imagine pre-cohabitation.

Unfortunately, you will not heed this advice and will go ahead and become shackled to her. Usually when guys write the way you do, they’ve already made the decision and are looking for validation.

You broke up previously for a reason. Trying to revive a broken relationship usually ends in disaster. You’re even talking about side plates. We will be here to help you pick up the pieces.

I get what you're saying. And you are probably right.

Let me clearify, I made this thread because there things are a part of being or becoming a DJ. You'll be around women, trying to do " everything right" and then shyte like this will happen. Some women will push you to a crossroad to make decisions. It's more of a luxury problem .

Some women will ghost you after a while, others are determined to have your baby. I just wondered if other members went through something similar. That momenta woman gives you REAL pressure to make a huge decision .

 

[Gamisch]

You are making a critical mistake of thinking she is yours. Brother, she is never yours, it's only your turn. She may be back for more but when it ends again it's going to feel like your soul has been ripped out of your body because you've allowed her back into your life again and think it means far more than it does.

When it ends again it will likely be something you never see coming and it will happen quickly

I am telling myself that I dont care when she walks away. Eventually every woman will walk away if I don't do it myself. Thing went from casual and fun to this.

At times, gaming women has a lot of similarities with being a con artists . Just dont wanna con myself.

 

[Gamisch]

I recently met a old fwb , we met and we fecked a few times. I think she has a bf though, so after sometime it just fizzled out.

I didn't really care. It was fun as long as it lasted but that's about it.

Correct me of I am wrong, but isn't it a simple consequence of becoming the best version of yourself? Some women will acknowledge your growth through their (good/better) behaviour.

 

[Pedrito0906]

I am telling myself that I dont care when she walks away. Eventually every woman will walk away if I don't do it myself. Thing went from casual and fun to this.

At times, gaming women has a lot of similarities with being a con artists . Just dont wanna con myself.

Okay, you could date again with this new mindset to see where it goes, but obviously not living together. Since you're a different guy you'll do things differently. If it goes horribly then you definitely know its not you the problem, its her.

If I were in your shoes, I'll date some of my exes again cause maybe like you I was a beta cvck who did everything wrong, therefore women reacted the way I was projecting myself, my insecurities and lack of self-worth. Just don't get her pregnant bro lol

 

[Dr.Suave]

It feels like it kinda childish to stay in this " spinning plates" stage forever.

That´s fair. But you should never get back together with an ex. You can try LTR with someone who is not an ex.

 

[Pedrito0906]

That´s fair. But you should never get back together with an ex. You can try LTR with someone who is not an ex.

To play devils advocate here. What happens if that ex just was a reflection of me? I mean if I was a puzzy beta cvck who did everything textbook wrong, you know the worst behaviors of insecurity, of controlling, of storming out of fear, and she just stopped respecting me because I did it to myself with my behaviors.

We all know women will act as $hitty as we let them, and if we allow disrespect she will keep doing it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

To play devils advocate here. What happens if that ex just was a reflection of me? I mean if I was a puzzy beta cvck who did everything textbook wrong, you know the worst behaviors of insecurity, of controlling, of storming out of fear, and she just stopped respecting me because I did it to myself with my behaviors.

We all know women will act as $hitty as we let them, and if we allow disrespect she will keep doing it.

I have thought about this stuff previously. I still think we should never get back with an ex.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

@Gamisch if you want a realistic genuine feedback on whether you should give her another chance, you need to share more information with the forum members so that they have a better understanding of the situation and can actually help you.

1. Why did you guys break up in first place?
   1. What were your problems that led to the break up? What has changed on your side?
   2. What were her problems that led to the break up? What has changed on her side?
2. Who initiated the break up?
3. How many times have you broken up?
4. How long have been together overall?
5. How long have you been together this time?
6. What's she been doing when you guys were broken up?
7. What is special about this chick?
8. How old is she? How attractive is she?
9. Does are her long-term plans? What are yours?
10. How's here relationship with your child?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Long story short, my ex came back and she is more submissive than ever before. She literally begged me for another chance, and that's how it supposed to be. The imprint is like a tattoo in her heart and soul, this woman will always return to me it seems.

Is she young? Usually this is a rite of passage to usually get any younger woman to fully submit to you. At some point she is going to feel confident and cash in her chips and then come running back when her plan fails. However, if she is past the age of 27-30.....Hell no, she should have some maturity at least by now. I would heavily advise against this if so.

For reference, I am 38,I've lived together twice already, and got a child already.

Do you have full custody of your child? Your child should come first and whether nor not this woman will be a good influence around your child.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You are making a critical mistake of thinking she is yours. Brother, she is never yours, it's only your turn. She may be back for more but when it ends again it's going to feel like your soul has been ripped out of your body because you've allowed her back into your life again and think it means far more than it does.

When it ends again it will likely be something you never see coming and it will happen quickly

1,000x this. Trust us here. People seem to need to touch the electric fences in their lives but please, read the signage and just trust us.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I am telling myself that I dont care when she walks away. Eventually every woman will walk away if I don't do it myself. Thing went from casual and fun to this.

At times, gaming women has a lot of similarities with being a con artists . Just dont wanna con myself.

Bro stop. Seriously. I think you’re a good poster and there is NO REASON to let her live with you. Be honest with yourself. It’s an internal issue. It’s self confidence. You’re lacking in it. I am gonna be dead serious with you right now bro. This is a fvcking awful, possibly the most awful, idea yet floated on my time on this forum. Do not do it. You can do better.

 

[Gamisch]

@Gamisch if you want a realistic genuine feedback on whether you should give her another chance, you need to share more information with the forum members so that they have a better understanding of the situation and can actually help you.

1. Why did you guys break up in first place?
   1. What were your problems that led to the break up? What has changed on your side?
   2. What were her problems that led to the break up? What has changed on her side?
2. Who initiated the break up?
3. How many times have you broken up?
4. How long have been together overall?
5. How long have you been together this time?
6. What's she been doing when you guys were broken up?
7. What is special about this chick?
8. How old is she? How attractive is she?
9. Does are her long-term plans? What are yours?
10. How's here relationship with your child?

1. I've known her for over 10 years. The first time she broke up with me, the last time I broke up with her. The break up happened because I did a lotta AFC shyte and she responded like a typical woman, acting hot and cold.

1.2 what changed from my side is a lot. I am way more calmer, and I don't respond as emotionally as I used to. I always thought it was really important to have a gf, and I jumped from LTR to LTR, even by lying to women just to have a steady supply of poosy. I've improved mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. Being on SS thought me a lot about relationships and women, and my role as a man. I got rid of all my debt (college and insurance debts) and I've been feeling great for quite a while now.

2. We broke up twice, and one time (first time) when we separated it was due her moving from Europe to Canada.

2. Well, that's the thing. Her whole family stand on my side it seems, especially her father likes me. I told her that we tried many times in the past, and that I don't know if it's even possible to be together like we once were. She understands it and asked for "just a chance to prove herself." She apologized for her behaviour in the past, even though to me most of those thing are just " typical woman shyte". I've personally never seen a woman showing this much introspection

4. We've been together like 4 ,5 years totally.

5.last time was 2 years. My biggest mistake was pushing for exclusivity. Soon as I did that shyte changed for the worst.
6.i don't really care what she did when I didn't see her but she claims she hadn't been seeing other men. Ofcourse she gets attention ,she is a good looking woman. Makes sense, because why would she come back and try to "lure me in " this type of shyte of the top men are after her?

7. Pfff, good question. Tbh , the most special thing about her is the fact she shows me the closest thing to "love". The previous point (6.) is also applicable to me ofcourse. If I would have some great women in my black book, I wouldn't bother dealing with her . But most interactions with new women I meet dont go anywhere. This" I don't want a LTR " thing pushes most women away after 3-6 months. The difference is this one accepts it (for now) and apparently sees it as a challenge. I know i sound like an idiot when i say she probably has some form of love for me.

8.she's 30 and decent to good looking. I would say somewhere between a 7 and a 8.

9. Her long term plans are quite lame tbh. She wants to be a mother, period. She is a clean and neat person, extremely organized. I do think she can be a good mother though.

10. My relationship with my child is good. Could be better, but I've been struggling with my baby mama for a while. This other ex and my daughter get along great.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Lots of good stuff here. My favorite (so far) is @Atom Smasher ´s post.

 

[Divorced w 3]

1. I've known her for over 10 years. The first time she broke up with me, the last time I broke up with her. The break up happened because I did a lotta AFC shyte and she responded like a typical woman, acting hot and cold.

1.2 what changed from my side is a lot. I am way more calmer, and I don't respond as emotionally as I used to. I always thought it was really important to have a gf, and I jumped from LTR to LTR, even by lying to women just to have a steady supply of poosy. I've improved mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. Being in SS thought me a lot about relationships and women, and my role as a man. I got rid of all my debt (college and insurance debts) and I've been feeling great for quite a while now.

2. We broke up twice, and one time (first time) when we separated it was due her moving from Europe to Canada.

2. Well, that's the thing. Her whole family stand on my side it seems, especially her father likes me. I told her that we tried many times in the past, and that I don't know if it's even possible to be together like we once were. She understands it and asked for "just a chance to prove herself." She apologized for her behaviour in the past, even though to me most of those thing are just " typical woman shyte". I've personally never seen a woman showing this much introspection

4. We've been together like 4 ,5 years totally.

5.last time was 2 years. My biggest mistake was pushing for exclusivity. Soon as I did that shyte changed for the worst.
6.i domt really care what she did when I'd didint see her but she claims she hadn't been seeing other men. Ofcourse she gets attention ,she is a good looking woman. Makes sense, because why would she come back and try to "lure me in " this type of shyte of the top men are after her?

7. Pfff, good question. Tbh , the most special thing about her is the fact she shows me the closest thing to "love". The previous point (6.) is also applicable to me ofcourse. If I would have some great women in my black book, I wouldn't bother dealing with her . But most interactions with new women I meet dont go anywhere. This" I don't want a LTR " thing pushes most women away after 3-6 months. The difference is this one accepts it (for now) and apparently sees it as a challenge. I know i sound like an idiot when i say she probably has some form of love for me.

8.she's 30 and decent to good looking. I would say somewhere between a 7 and a 8.

9. Her long term plans are quite lame tbh. She wants to be a mother, period. She is a clean and neat person, extremely organized. I do think she can be a good mother though.

10. My relationship with my child is good. Could be better, but I've been struggling with my baby mama for a while. This other ex and my daughter get along great.

Literally my former marriage. Have fun.

 

[Gamisch]

To play devils advocate here. What happens if that ex just was a reflection of me? I mean if I was a puzzy beta cvck who did everything textbook wrong, you know the worst behaviors of insecurity, of controlling, of storming out of fear, and she just stopped respecting me because I did it to myself with my behaviors.

We all know women will act as $hitty as we let them, and if we allow disrespect she will keep doing it.

Yes this thank you.

We try to improve constantly. Mentally physically financially. Which means that previously things weren't that great for whatever reason. At some point you decide to change shyte up and improve drastically.

The relationship with any woman becomes a reflection of one self. You ain't winning at life, so you ain't winning at relationships. Period. This is especially frustrating when you actually want a serious LTR due codependency.

You're fighting to make it better,and after some time the hard works start to pay off. Especially a person/women that knows you for some time can tell the differences.

They say you get the woman you deserve. That's the most difficult part for me; I "finally" have a woman behaving he way I want her to. One that is making it easy for me and not giving me too much stress. That stress part has a lot to do with me. I don't stress anymore because of jealousy insecurities ect. It makes me feel like I " deserve " a woman in my life that's over me.

Bro stop. Seriously. I think you’re a good poster and there is NO REASON to let her live with you. Be honest with yourself. It’s an internal issue. It’s self confidence. You’re lacking in it. I am gonna be dead serious with you right now bro. This is a fvcking awful, possibly the most awful, idea yet floated on my time on this forum. Do not do it. You can do better.

I know you are right man...and yes its probably already candidate for the " craziest thread of the year" . Its also mindblowing to me to see how she seems to be so sure I am the one for her period.

I knew I would get some form of backlash, and I am happy with it because I know y'all just trying to set me straight. I need some feedback from some fellow DJ,S, because most of my close friends are " just happy for me" .

Everytime I see her and she brings up future plans I am thinking to myself;" what the hell am I supposed to do with this shyte"?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yes this thank you.

We try to improve constantly. Mentally physically financially. Which means that previously thing weren't that great for whatever reason. At some point you decide to change shyte up and improve drastically.

The relationship with any woman becomes a reflection of one self. You ain't winning at life, so you ain't winning at relationships. Period. This is especially frustrating when you actually want a serious LTR.

You're fighting to make it better,and after some time the hard works start to pay off. Especially a person/women that knows you tell can tell the differences.

They say you get the woman you deserve. That's the most difficult part for me; I "finally" have a woman behaving he way I want her to. That is making it easy for me and not giving me too much stress. That stress part has a lot to do with me. I don't stress anymore because of jealousy insecurities ect. It makes me feel like I " deserve " a woman in my life that's over me.


I know you are right man...and yes its probably already candidate for the " craziest thread of the year" . Its also mindblowing to me to see how she seems to be so sure I am the one for her period.

I knew I would get some for of backlash, and I am happy wit it because I know y'all just trying to set me straight. I need some feedback from some fellow DJ,S, because most of my close friends are " just happy for me" .

Everytime I see her and she brings up future plans I am thinking to myself;" what the hell am I supposed to do with this shyte"?

I mean that out of pure love bro. Trust me.

 

[Gamisch]

To play devils advocate here. What happens if that ex just was a reflection of me? I mean if I was a puzzy beta cvck who did everything textbook wrong, you know the worst behaviors of insecurity, of controlling, of storming out of fear, and she just stopped respecting me because I did it to myself with my behaviors.

We all know women will act as $hitty as we let them, and if we allow disrespect she will keep doing it.

When she hit me up and told she want to see me , I was pleasantly surprised. It felt like some kinda revenge, mostly revenge on my (old) self. Expectations can be a real bytch, and when I dropped most of my expectations it worked wonders.

I think she is some kind of jealous or angry also, seeing I am doing much better and knowing I dont care about women as much anymore.

Me being a better man also brings out the better woman outta her. Time and energy I used to spend terug ti control her, is now spend on having fun and keeping things playfull and relaxed.

I mean that out of pure love bro. Trust me.

I know, its important we keep it 100 with each other. My 100 is this thread, not my proudest posts but it is my reality right now.

I expected more DJ,S went through something like this.

 

[Divorced w 3]

When she hit me up and told she want to see me , I was pleasantly surprised. It felt like some kinda revenge, mostly revenge on my (old) self. Expectations can be a real bytch, and when I dropped most of my expectations it worked wonders.

I think she is some kind of jealous or angry also, seeing I am doing much better and knowing I dont care about women as much anymore.

Me being a better man also brings out the better woman outta her. Time and energy I used to spend terug ti control her, is now spend on having fun and keeping things playfull and relaxed.

I know, its important we keep it 100 with each other. My 100 is this thread, not my proudest posts but it is my reality right now.

I expected more DJ,S went through something like this.

So why would you want to go through the same thing

 

[Gamisch]

So why would you want to go through the same thing

I guess as usual, when people post threads with...strange topics, they hope someone will either confirm , or debunk their theory/ idea.

Perhaps some of you guys also stood on such a crossroad with a woman at some point. And perhaps some of you actually did it, or other managed to stall the decision as long as possible.

Right now we just fecking and we are in this " let's see where it goes " phase because that's what I push for. She keeps bringing this up though. I just respond vaguely to it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I guess as usual, when people post threads with...strange topics, they hope someone will either confirm , or debunk their theory/ idea.

Perhaps some of you guys also stood on such a crossroad with a woman at some point. And perhaps some of you actually did it, or other managed to stall the decision as long as possible.

Right now we just fecking and we are in this " let's see where it goes " phase because that's what I push for. She keeps bringing this up though. I just respond vaguely to it.

I’m telling you I did it. I’m telling you that it’s the worst decision you’ll make in your entire life. Go with God. I won’t say more.