How do you DJs react when a girl that you're kind of interested in (who you think likes you) is talking to another guy when you are nearby? I always feel awkward because I try to act like I'm unphased but I always sneak a peak at the scene here and there. How do I overcome these small feelings of jealousy?
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
When she talks with another guy in front of you
- Thread starter Juan_Man
- Start date
If you sort of like her and you think she likes you then do your best to act unphased as you are. Chat up with another buddy or girl but don't make it obvious that you are trying to make her jealous. Ot jealous back or get back at her for this. Thats why I say another guy. It will sort of throw her off a bit.
And if you and she are out together and she does this then I wouldn't give her any attention at all after this date. Poof from the planet (for at least a solid week if not two) and let her call you for the next outing. Chances are she will be begging if she really liked you in the first place. But hey....
Why waste your time. No cure for those feelings of jealousy except knowing and accepting that you are the bomb and if she ain't into you, you got better things to do.Easier said than done. It sucks when that happens but whatever you do save face and never let her know you are jealous. Just having fun out and it's no worry on your part. If you act disinterested, if she likes you she'll be a little pissed but that's a good thing and will teach her that she has to earn you. Not play silly games.
And if you are dating then have some other chicks that you are also seeing. This is if you are not exclusive. So easy to get latched on to one person very fast. BIG MISTAKE! The other person can sense it and when you give yourself options, you automatically become more attractive to the entire bunch!
And if you and she are out together and she does this then I wouldn't give her any attention at all after this date. Poof from the planet (for at least a solid week if not two) and let her call you for the next outing. Chances are she will be begging if she really liked you in the first place. But hey....
Why waste your time. No cure for those feelings of jealousy except knowing and accepting that you are the bomb and if she ain't into you, you got better things to do.Easier said than done. It sucks when that happens but whatever you do save face and never let her know you are jealous. Just having fun out and it's no worry on your part. If you act disinterested, if she likes you she'll be a little pissed but that's a good thing and will teach her that she has to earn you. Not play silly games.
And if you are dating then have some other chicks that you are also seeing. This is if you are not exclusive. So easy to get latched on to one person very fast. BIG MISTAKE! The other person can sense it and when you give yourself options, you automatically become more attractive to the entire bunch!
Well this is rather easy. You will beat your jealosy feelings by realizing that she's talking to the other guy to get your attentions. Weird huh (i'll explain). And she probably is coz you think she likes you, and I bet she does.
See in that crazy woman logic a girl decides to make herself appear more wanted by other men so you WOULD act up on the offer already!!! You know, like those (special offer - only 28 days left) supermarket offers. They're trying to have you ACT NOW so that they know if what they offering will be bought by you, or whether they should move on.
And I'm guessing you haven't made your move even though you realize she likes you. She likes you, you like her. Make the move!
See in that crazy woman logic a girl decides to make herself appear more wanted by other men so you WOULD act up on the offer already!!! You know, like those (special offer - only 28 days left) supermarket offers. They're trying to have you ACT NOW so that they know if what they offering will be bought by you, or whether they should move on.
And I'm guessing you haven't made your move even though you realize she likes you. She likes you, you like her. Make the move!
lerxst
Don Juan
First of all, this is just me, but I'm never "kind of interested" in a woman, I am, or I am not. Second, what is there to be jealous of here? Men talk to women all the time. So what? Keep your cool, talk to whoever you want. Be confident in yourself. Do not sneak peaks, that's a dead give away that you care, and she'll keep doing what gets to you if you make it obvious that you are bugging. Also, assume she likes you, and try to close the deal.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Yeah, sometimes.
Sometimes a gal will give some attention to one guy (the pivot) to spur the other guy (the target) into action. That happened to me today, but I was the pivot. Oh, well. She was not nearly as hot or as much my type as the others who I did exchange info, anyway.
Regardless of what's happening, acting jealous is definitely not the way to go. Just stick to your plan. If she's giving the other guy more attention (initiating), move along. If she's responsive to you, just stick with it and be the best, coolest DJ you can.
If she wants you to act jealous, she's bad news. Don't just go away, go far away!
Sometimes a gal will give some attention to one guy (the pivot) to spur the other guy (the target) into action. That happened to me today, but I was the pivot. Oh, well. She was not nearly as hot or as much my type as the others who I did exchange info, anyway.
Regardless of what's happening, acting jealous is definitely not the way to go. Just stick to your plan. If she's giving the other guy more attention (initiating), move along. If she's responsive to you, just stick with it and be the best, coolest DJ you can.
If she wants you to act jealous, she's bad news. Don't just go away, go far away!
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
About jealousy.
Ah jealousy, I remember turning it around on someone when I had just started my training as a DJ.(This was about 4 months ago) She was the ultimate queen bee, and played innocent all the way to the hilt. Had it not been for some good friends I might have been just another drone, but someone altered me to just how many people she was really seeing. She had set it up so that I believed she was only talking to a guy who was quickly heading into the LJBF zone.(That's as AFC as you get.) At that point my inner DJ decided to call the shots. I decided to let her know that I was not interested in even being on good terms by leaving her an IM.(Yes I know personal is better, but she showed little attention or care, so a face to face would have been more than she deserved.) Immediately her tone changed, claiming she cared about my friendship.(Heh, from only wanting to be on good terms, to actually "being" friends.) She requested that we talk somewhere private, and even sent one of her drone's to request an "audience" with me.(If that isn't an egotistical, I don't know what is.) My reply was swift and simple, No. The next weekend she apparently came to this party with a guy that I was that, in hopes of angering me. However it back fired, I had been revielling in my new found freedom by making out with a woman in the middle of the dance floor. She apparently saw it and spun about and left. After that whenever we some how wind up in the same place she will always try to get my attention, and I still ignore her.
So my story is long and I should get to the point. When she goest to talk to another guy what you do depends on the settings.
1. At a party, let her know your going to go mingle and tell her to find you later. You go mingle, be socialable to everyone. If a lady catches your eye, chat it up a bit, and move to the dance floor. Focus on this new found lady friend, ask her for her number if she responds well. Keep the number this is important!(Future lead, but women love drama, and props can be used to create drama) When she returns, show her the number and ask her "So how did you do?" With the biggest, ****iest, mishievous grin you can. If she wants an arguement, all you have to say is, "Well I thought you would be confortable with since you were checking out other guys." Say it confidently. Followed by "By the way since we are not together I don't see what's wrong with meeting people." Its high risk, but with great risk can come great reward.
2. On a date, she starts chatting with some other guy and begins to ignore you. Let her know your leaving, "Tell her I hope your friend will be nice enough to give you a ride home." Get up and head for the door. Why should you have to pay for an evening out when it feels like your alone. Women play this card, they get angry at dinner and leave. Heck its reinforced to them whenever they watch some dumb chick flick. Why not toss it back at them? There is no rule against ending a date early if she is not going to give you the respect you deserve. Giving her a ride back home is optional, making her take a cab would be the equivalent of making a guy sleep on the couch after he seriously goofed in a relationship. Remember no one ever said a DJ was a nice guy.
-Grey Fox
Ah jealousy, I remember turning it around on someone when I had just started my training as a DJ.(This was about 4 months ago) She was the ultimate queen bee, and played innocent all the way to the hilt. Had it not been for some good friends I might have been just another drone, but someone altered me to just how many people she was really seeing. She had set it up so that I believed she was only talking to a guy who was quickly heading into the LJBF zone.(That's as AFC as you get.) At that point my inner DJ decided to call the shots. I decided to let her know that I was not interested in even being on good terms by leaving her an IM.(Yes I know personal is better, but she showed little attention or care, so a face to face would have been more than she deserved.) Immediately her tone changed, claiming she cared about my friendship.(Heh, from only wanting to be on good terms, to actually "being" friends.) She requested that we talk somewhere private, and even sent one of her drone's to request an "audience" with me.(If that isn't an egotistical, I don't know what is.) My reply was swift and simple, No. The next weekend she apparently came to this party with a guy that I was that, in hopes of angering me. However it back fired, I had been revielling in my new found freedom by making out with a woman in the middle of the dance floor. She apparently saw it and spun about and left. After that whenever we some how wind up in the same place she will always try to get my attention, and I still ignore her.
So my story is long and I should get to the point. When she goest to talk to another guy what you do depends on the settings.
1. At a party, let her know your going to go mingle and tell her to find you later. You go mingle, be socialable to everyone. If a lady catches your eye, chat it up a bit, and move to the dance floor. Focus on this new found lady friend, ask her for her number if she responds well. Keep the number this is important!(Future lead, but women love drama, and props can be used to create drama) When she returns, show her the number and ask her "So how did you do?" With the biggest, ****iest, mishievous grin you can. If she wants an arguement, all you have to say is, "Well I thought you would be confortable with since you were checking out other guys." Say it confidently. Followed by "By the way since we are not together I don't see what's wrong with meeting people." Its high risk, but with great risk can come great reward.
2. On a date, she starts chatting with some other guy and begins to ignore you. Let her know your leaving, "Tell her I hope your friend will be nice enough to give you a ride home." Get up and head for the door. Why should you have to pay for an evening out when it feels like your alone. Women play this card, they get angry at dinner and leave. Heck its reinforced to them whenever they watch some dumb chick flick. Why not toss it back at them? There is no rule against ending a date early if she is not going to give you the respect you deserve. Giving her a ride back home is optional, making her take a cab would be the equivalent of making a guy sleep on the couch after he seriously goofed in a relationship. Remember no one ever said a DJ was a nice guy.
-Grey Fox
Some of you are acting quite insecure. She's talking to someone else, not snogging them in front of you.
Be smooth, be charismatic. At a party : I'd introduce myself to the conversation and take over, being friendly with the guy and livening up the situation. It's not a crime if she talks to another guy - she's allowed to, just as you are allowed to chat with other chicks. The trick is to strategically place yourself in a position where you give off the "I'm-more-fun" vibe, so she seems to willingly come to you, whereas you've manipulated the situation from the get-go!
Pro tip : Instead of trying to remove the girl from the conversation so you can have at her, remove the GUY. Seriously become his new good friend and then get him to go around the party with you. This isolates the girl, and she's left wondering why you two have apparently ditched her. You can double back later on your primary target once you've manuevered the other guy out of the way.
The game changes slightly if you're on a date with her. Jealousy should never come up, or become apparent. It's a sign of weakness. So what do we do if our date suddenly stops and starts chatting to a guy she knows? Firstly, wait a bit. It could be just a simple hello, and then she's back with you on your way again. If after a minute (Use your instinct. You'll know when is too long) they still persist, inject yourself again into the mix but this time use your power of puppetry to bring her away and back into your date. Take charge of the conversation, steer it to the two of you being out, all while being ****y and funny (Yea Tiffany wanted to take me shopping to buy a wedding ring because she proposed to me yesterday), then excuse the TWO OF YOU (very simple once you've made it clear that you're both out together) and be on your way.
Simple stuff. You take control of the situation, manipulate the circumstances to your advantage, and do it in such a way that there's no resentment or hard feelings from anyone because you did it all being smooth, charismatic, funny and polite.
This situation should ideally never arise however because if you've been showing her a good enough time that she's in a state of euphoria just enjoying your company, she shouldn't even notice a friend unless they actually come up and tap her on the shoulder.
I wouldn't tell her off unless she makes a habit of chatting up every hobo off the street while on a date. Just because she may meet a friend or two doesn't warrant you getting huffy about it. Relax. Chill. Keep cool. It's all about control, and being in a calm state puts you in firm control of the situation.
- Raoul
Be smooth, be charismatic. At a party : I'd introduce myself to the conversation and take over, being friendly with the guy and livening up the situation. It's not a crime if she talks to another guy - she's allowed to, just as you are allowed to chat with other chicks. The trick is to strategically place yourself in a position where you give off the "I'm-more-fun" vibe, so she seems to willingly come to you, whereas you've manipulated the situation from the get-go!
Pro tip : Instead of trying to remove the girl from the conversation so you can have at her, remove the GUY. Seriously become his new good friend and then get him to go around the party with you. This isolates the girl, and she's left wondering why you two have apparently ditched her. You can double back later on your primary target once you've manuevered the other guy out of the way.
The game changes slightly if you're on a date with her. Jealousy should never come up, or become apparent. It's a sign of weakness. So what do we do if our date suddenly stops and starts chatting to a guy she knows? Firstly, wait a bit. It could be just a simple hello, and then she's back with you on your way again. If after a minute (Use your instinct. You'll know when is too long) they still persist, inject yourself again into the mix but this time use your power of puppetry to bring her away and back into your date. Take charge of the conversation, steer it to the two of you being out, all while being ****y and funny (Yea Tiffany wanted to take me shopping to buy a wedding ring because she proposed to me yesterday), then excuse the TWO OF YOU (very simple once you've made it clear that you're both out together) and be on your way.
Simple stuff. You take control of the situation, manipulate the circumstances to your advantage, and do it in such a way that there's no resentment or hard feelings from anyone because you did it all being smooth, charismatic, funny and polite.
This situation should ideally never arise however because if you've been showing her a good enough time that she's in a state of euphoria just enjoying your company, she shouldn't even notice a friend unless they actually come up and tap her on the shoulder.
I wouldn't tell her off unless she makes a habit of chatting up every hobo off the street while on a date. Just because she may meet a friend or two doesn't warrant you getting huffy about it. Relax. Chill. Keep cool. It's all about control, and being in a calm state puts you in firm control of the situation.
- Raoul
Chemistry
Master Don Juan
Lets see...
You're only "Kind of Interested" in this girl because you're not sure if the feelings mutual... if she came up to you, told you she wanted to fukk, or wanted to hook up, you'd be down in a flash... so you are interested, step is to do somethin' about it
First rule... believe she is interested in you... act like she is, do the things you'd do if she was interested in you, and just ask her to some kinda date, or for a number like she is interested in you...
But yeah, it's too obsessive... some girl you kinda like talkin' to some other guy in the scene simply while you're nearby... it's all part of social interaction
Even if you stepped forth and got together with her, or she came to you, it would be doomed to fail... I mean, if you're jealous of her talkin to a guy under the current circumstances, how do you intend to manage when you're together and she's talkin' to any number of other guys over that time...
You're only "Kind of Interested" in this girl because you're not sure if the feelings mutual... if she came up to you, told you she wanted to fukk, or wanted to hook up, you'd be down in a flash... so you are interested, step is to do somethin' about it
First rule... believe she is interested in you... act like she is, do the things you'd do if she was interested in you, and just ask her to some kinda date, or for a number like she is interested in you...
But yeah, it's too obsessive... some girl you kinda like talkin' to some other guy in the scene simply while you're nearby... it's all part of social interaction
Even if you stepped forth and got together with her, or she came to you, it would be doomed to fail... I mean, if you're jealous of her talkin to a guy under the current circumstances, how do you intend to manage when you're together and she's talkin' to any number of other guys over that time...