When she says she wants to wait...

[thirtyzDude]

This was interesting - I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. We've made out and fooled around, but nothing really below the belt. This whole time she's been telling me that she needs to wait until she's comfortable with a guy until she has sex with him...but all the while she's telling me what a nympho she is. Last night I had just gotten back from a workout and was feeling, well, randy. She came over to pick me up for a date; I kissed her and started unbuttoning her pants without asking. I did my thing for a while, then we went on our date...and she keeps telling me how she wants to wait, and she also asks how long I like to wait. Well, the answer is obvious, but I reply that I want to make sure the girl is not a psycho and won't steal my s**t while I'm sleeping. But I make sure to say nothing when she mentions her wanting to wait. I did at one point tell her I was in no rush, but my hands had minds of their own. We end up back at my place; I invite her in. She asks if I'll behave myself, I reply "no promises." She says we can go in and make out, I reply with "sure, it'll definitely start out that way." So she finally comes in and needless to say ends up naked in my bed. A couple of things I'd like to know - is that the best way to deal with a girl that persists in telling you how she wants to wait? Just say nothing and make your move later on anyway? It obviously seemed to work this time, but I just wanted to see if anyone had a better idea. Secondly, what's the best response when a girl asks you how long YOU like to wait before sex? It just seems like such a stupid question...

 

[SXS]

Secondly, what's the best response when a girl asks you how long YOU like to wait before sex?

Say five minutes.

 

[Colossus]

If they ask you that question just say something smart-as$, like "well I normally like to wait until your pants are off before we start", or whatever.

Regarding the standard "I like to wait" b.s., just smile and say "ok", and keep doing what youre doing.

Another thing you could do is a freeze-out. Basically when she pushes your hand away and pulls the 'wait' card, just immediately stop what you are doing and pull your attention away from her. This will invariably draw her back to you, and when she starts to kiss you again just dont engage. Of course she'll say "whats wrong?", to which you reply, calmly, "you tell me you like to wait, yet you're kissing me like I'll accept it's going nowhere. These games dont turn me on. I'm going to get a sandwich. You want one?"

I have done both of these and gotten laid that night, many times. The wording varies but you get the idea. Unless you can pull the freeze-out with sinister cool, I suggest the first plan.

 

[jophil28]

This whole time she's been telling me that she needs to wait until she's comfortable with a guy until she has sex with him...but all the while she's telling me what a nympho she is.

This a frame grab - an attempt to control . It has little to do with her 'morals' and everything to do with her trying to assert sexual power over you from the get go.

I like the tactic from Collosus.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

I'm going to get a sandwich

Awesome. Will be using that one!

 

[DJDamage]

Secondly, what's the best response when a girl asks you how long YOU like to wait before sex? It just seems like such a stupid question...

Its a sh1t testing question, so don't respond with an answer that you think she would like to hear (such as "I wait until we are both comfortable with each other blah blah blah")

My answer would be: "wait? I never had to wait in my life to get sex".

 

[hansol]

You can take it two ways: It's a **** test, and she is trying to see how "easy" you are. Secondly (depending on intonations and body language and such) it could also be her "justifying" her feelings to shack up right away, in which case just ignore it and keep doing your thing.

Don't cave, play coy, control the frame. Tell her you are "practicing to be a good little born again mormon and that you don't sleep with people until the honeymoon in Cabo. Are you saying you want to marry me?" Keep her on her toes.

 

[Liberated]

This was interesting - I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. We've made out and fooled around, but nothing really below the belt. This whole time she's been telling me that she needs to wait until she's comfortable with a guy until she has sex with him...but all the while she's telling me what a nympho she is. Last night I had just gotten back from a workout and was feeling, well, randy. She came over to pick me up for a date; I kissed her and started unbuttoning her pants without asking. I did my thing for a while, then we went on our date...and she keeps telling me how she wants to wait, and she also asks how long I like to wait. Well, the answer is obvious, but I reply that I want to make sure the girl is not a psycho and won't steal my s**t while I'm sleeping. But I make sure to say nothing when she mentions her wanting to wait. I did at one point tell her I was in no rush, but my hands had minds of their own. We end up back at my place; I invite her in. She asks if I'll behave myself, I reply "no promises." She says we can go in and make out, I reply with "sure, it'll definitely start out that way." So she finally comes in and needless to say ends up naked in my bed. A couple of things I'd like to know - is that the best way to deal with a girl that persists in telling you how she wants to wait? Just say nothing and make your move later on anyway? It obviously seemed to work this time, but I just wanted to see if anyone had a better idea. Secondly, what's the best response when a girl asks you how long YOU like to wait before sex? It just seems like such a stupid question...

Sounds like string along BS to me. Women will use the prospect of sex to control men.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Your reply about psychos and thieves was just fine. If she got naked in your bed, did you guys have sex? I sure hope so. She is just trying to make you wait so that you still want to hang out with her and don't want to just hit it and quit it. I'd be willing to bet in the past she has escalated to sex much more quickly and it didn't have the results she desired.

Just remember, she may say all this junk about waiting, but if she allows herself to get naked in your bed, then it's on. Just go for it, the worst thing that'll happen is she'll stop you, which is when you make your sandwich if things aren't going anywhere.

 

[nismo-4]

This is a sh*t test. Make up a smart-ass response. It'll show that you're a confident alpha male.

 

[Cinamon]

She probably just wanted you to go in for the kill, or didnt want you to think she was easy. Saying she likes to wait and then giving it to you, maybe is her way of saying you are special.

 

[mothballs]

It's not the popular answer by far, but if she wants to wait you might want to find out how long she plans to wait and respect her wishes for the most part. I escalated pretty fast with MY GF in the first few dates and when her shirt came off, she told me the same thing. She told me she'd like to wait like 3 months... she said she had moved too fast with the last guy and it was a mistake. So I told her that was fine... but if she jumped me I couldn't make any promises. I had a very good feeling with this one though and knew I could trust her not to be stringing me along... after 2 months she couldn't take it anymore and flat out told me she wanted to get laid that night. I was pretty sure she wouldn't make it to her goal, but we moved at her pace and the relationship has benefitted greatly from my patience... since then it's been sex daily and nightly when we're together. I was looking for an LTR though, so I probably handled things a bit differently from that perspective.

In the end it's all about the people involved though, she could very well be **** testing you to see how much of an Alpha you can be... she could be trying to string you along and won't give it up regardless. She could be seriously looking for "the one" and won't settle for you if you can't wait. You need to read body language and listen carefully to what she says so you know the right course of action.