"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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when she says she doesnt 'date' does that just mean she doesn't date 'you'?

drift king

Master Don Juan
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my date tonight was not a date even tho i told her it was a date, i let her off the hook by saying 'oh so you're 1 of those girls who is friends with a guy first to see if u like him then later u go on a date..'

she goes yeah.. did i let her off the hook too easily?

i felt it was a sign of disrespect that she didnt consider it was a date.

in text message before about 2 weeks ago she asked me 'who said anything about a date?'

i was smart and said 'well we'll see u how u do first then we'll talk about a date.'

in due course she recontacted me the week later so obviously my tactic was working or im just kidding myself.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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playerone

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Don't get too concerned about the dating issue. As long as you're going out with her, doing your thing and working on attraction, who cares if it's a date or not. Let it go and show her these trivial matters don't bother you. Remember to kino, then escalate. That's the more important part.
 

TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
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Yes exactly. Forget trying to put labels on your outings and just go out and do your thing. Labeling things as a "date" puts unnecessary pressure on both people.

Back in the old days (this must have been like 9th or 10th grade) I once made the mistake of trying to clarify with the girl whether the movie we went out to counted as a date or not. I don't even know how I could ever have been that awful. Needless to say that was pretty much the end of my interaction with this girl.
 
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