When she says - I have a bf.

[Maximummax]

Does it mean the game is over on the spot?
Seniors - throw some light on this folks.

 

[Lexington]

It depends. Sometimes she really has a boyfriend and she's not interested. Sometimes she's not interested…initially at least. Other times she has a boyfriend and she's willing to cheat.

You'll have to use your best judgment as to whether this is a sh*t test or she's for real (and if she's worth pursuing considering other available options). A few of my same night lays started out with a girl saying she had a boyfriend. Usually you can tell from their body language if they're open to persuasion.

 

[pierce_r]

So many opportunities. . .

- When you're ready for a man friend, you know where to find me."

- "I'd highly suggest you don't invite him."

- "I had one, once. Believe me, it won't last."

- (If she's being a ***** about it) "Not for long, with that attitude."

 

[Night-hawk]

"Your lips do look like they'd taste a little salty."

Or something amusing. Then play off her reactions, test her resistance.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Max,
You respond "Iwould be more surprised if a Woman as attractive as you didn't"....she will probably say "doesn't that worry you Max"you reply,"not at all,How can I condemn in another Man what I forgive in Myself"!

 

[MatureDJ]

I can remember a few times talking to women and getting he casual "my boyfriend" thrown out. It is quite amazing how it seems to get thrown out in the middle of some conversation that is totally unexpected.

As for myself, I don't know if I ever said something about "my girlfriend" to some woman my age.

I wonder if anyone has done a '"candid camera" type of experiment where a short, ugly, nerdy guy is contrasted with a tall, handsome, cool guy in having a conversation with some decently attractive woman - and see how fast or even if the "boyfriend" gets mentioned.

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with Mauser. You've done your deed, and whether or not the boyfriend exists is irrelevant.

It's a no-joy for you, so you just say "Ah well, ok, have a good one, great talking to you" and you make your exit, like a confident man with options does.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I agree with Mauser. You've done your deed, and whether or not the boyfriend exists is irrelevant.

It's a no-joy for you, so you just say "Ah well, ok, have a good one, great talking to you" and you make your exit, like a confident man with options does.

yep. The trick here is to not look disappointed. Chicks love to get a reaction out of guys that states you wanted them, it makes em fell all warm and fuzzy. Act as if she said she has 10 cats at home. Have the attitude that she just disqualified herself to you and now you're relieved that you can move on to something better.

If she says it indirectly like: "my boyfriend took me to go see Twilight yesterday." My response: "that sucks for him." Then turn and start up a conversation with someone else.

 

[Maximummax]

actually this chick works in hair salon, when the second time i went there(this was actually six months ago), i said lets have a drink, for that she said she just moved into a new apartment and blah blah .. so i took it easy and moved on.
this time after several months i get to see her, she mentioned "My boyfriend" in the conv, i took it easy.

the next day, i went to a grocery store very close to that salon,she sees me and greets me" Hey you". i had a small conv, didn't hit on her or anything
and we parted. ENd of story.

 

[amoka]

Does it mean the game is over on the spot?
Seniors - throw some light on this folks.

Yes. Either that or she doesn't want to be with you. At least not in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with at that time.

actually this chick works in hair salon, when the second time i went there(this was actually six months ago), i said lets have a drink, for that she said she just moved into a new apartment and blah blah .. so i took it easy and moved on.
this time after several months i get to see her, she mentioned "My boyfriend" in the conv, i took it easy.

the next day, i went to a grocery store very close to that salon,she sees me and greets me" Hey you". i had a small conv, didn't hit on her or anything
and we parted. ENd of story.

My guess is you were tepid in your first approach 6 months ago so yeah, she probably found someone that was probably more assertive than you were. I would look somewhere else if I were you. Best of lucks.

 

[Ballie57]

Dear Max,
You respond "Iwould be more surprised if a Woman as attractive as you didn't"..

That is my normal response and it is like putting chum into the water - you would be surprised of how competitive women are to catch an eligible bachelor so that they can parade him amongst their friends like a prime stallion or something.

Or as us mates a big juicy plump trout or bass or something. Just play it cool and go with the flow

 

[lifeislearning]

Is she worth it?

If so, does it matter if she does?

If not, does it matter if she does?

There's your answer.

 

[user43770]

There's a great thread about this in the archive.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18373

 

[nismo-4]

Often times, she's not interested in being more than friends. The princess is in another castle. Gotta move on.

BTW, there's a thread about this in the archives.

Case closed.

 

[lifeislearning]

You have me confused. If so, does it matter if she does? Well, it does. Because if she is really committed to him, I don't want to spend the whole evening bugging her, making a complete fool of my self, until she tells me finally "Fvck off". So no, I won't do that.

If not, does it matter? Yes, it does. Because if she doesn't but says she does, that means she is not interested. I don't want to spend the whole evening bugging her, making a complete fool of my self, until she tells me finally "Fvck off". So no, I won't do that.

It is about self-respect.

All life is simply about what your self-respect dictates and how much you're willing to work through.

Some things are worth sacrificing pride, exhausting toil, and taking a risk. Is she? Countless women have been wooed from their beaus and countless others have used the "boyfriend" as an excuse. Either way, you can choose to chase her if you deem the effort worthy.

"Is the juice worth the squeeze?"

 

[HenryFromNH]

I tend to just move on and respect what she said. Whether she does or doesn't isn't the question, to me, those words mean "Game Over"

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

What you're describing is the Boyfriend Disclaimer, also known as a Proactive LJBF.

The Boyfriend Disclaimer rejection occurs when a woman slips the information of her unavailability (due to the BF) covertly into casual conversation. I've covered this countless times with frustrated guys asking me why a woman would tell him she had a boyfriend in the middle of a sarge. It simply a communication device with the latent purpose of proactively rejecting him (where a LJBF is a reactive rejection) and/or allowing her a convenient OUT while she determines his sexual market value with other sh!t tests.

The idea behind the Boyfriend Disclaimer is that you've telegraphed your interest in her overtly enough that she wants to save herself the potential embarrassment and discomfort of having to needlessly go through the process of you asking her out. As I said, it's proactive - "Hey lets save us both the trouble of you trying to hook up with me and get to the part where we agree to just be friends." This is a very common practice for exceptionally attractive women who, through frequency, more readily read the approach behaviors of guys who are attracted to her.

That said, unless there's a ring on her finger, every woman is single. C&F is amazingly effective in defusing a BFD when used to draw attention to it as a tactic. Don't let a BFD thwart your sarge. Often enough it's a bluff she's not used to being called on, turn that to your advantage, but do so cleverly.

 

[Donnx]

What I do.

I just say, "Who cares?" , then, I whisper to her ear, (to get closer, smell her and test her) , "I don't". Then I smile, look deep in her eyes and think in my head...(I am going to xxxxxxx you tonight) and keep smiling. Everyone of them, gave me good responses for that. giggles, blushing, shxt like that. Just three words, confidence and the right mentality. Keep it simple and stupid, (K.I.S.S.)


I just say "Not anymore" then smile. They get wet on that one.

BE FUN, BE SEXUAL, and BE HAPPY.


Gentleman. MERRY X MAS.

"If women test me, then I test them, it's only fair right?" Donnx

 

[JaegerPilot217]

i'd say to her, who's the lucky bastard?