"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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When she says, "Hold on a sec, brb"

Axcell

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I've checked the bible, and threads in this forum - haven't really found an answer to this question. What do you do when you are talking to a girl, developing amazing rapport with her, and she suddenly tells you in person, "Hold on a sec" and she doesn't get back to you? Do you just walk away, do you tell her something. If you tell her something, what do you say?

And what would you say if you are in an IM conversation with her, such as MSN or AIM, and she says, "brb" and she does not respond when she comes back? Do you just wait for her, and than go offline after a while.. or do you say something? If so, what do you say?

Just some simple questions. I would appreciate if I got many replies so I have many views on the subject.

Thanks a bunch,
Nick.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Michele l'Arcangelo

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you missed the entire point. dont use AIM at all... no really... don't use aim.

it solves much of your problems... 1, a girl won't say "brb" to you in person... 2, you have **** to talk about in person, if you don't waste it over the net.

now on what to say... nothing... just log off and never speak on AIM again unless you're setting up a date, getting their number, or having a quick chat with a FRIEND seeing how theyre doing or something.

have your away message up always, it seem like you're busy. make it quick like, "out!" or the default... it seems like if you spend a ton of time on your away message you have no life.
 

Axcell

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See, that's exactly what I have been doing though. I NEVER come on AIM anymore, I come on about once every week (Which is a small amount for people who are my age (I am 17).
In person, what do you do if you are talking to her, one of her friends approaches her, and she starts talking to her.. and the other girl does not really seem like she is opening up a conversation to you as well, and the girl you were originally talking too.. pushes you on the side?
 

Michele l'Arcangelo

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sounds cliche, but you need to read up on conversation and attitude articles.

be a confident "jerk" and seem like you care about what they have to say by repeating what they say, but also at the same time act like you don't care... hard to explain in a sentence or two... go read up.
 

KnockoutJM

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I usually would forget her, and if im not talking to anyone else ill log off. I only go on aim like once a week max, because without it, theres more to talk about in person, and i like being sort of free from communication, able to work on my own terms, then to have people be able to contact me at all times.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Jolly_Roger

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i seriously would have logged off or left the convo and when she got back i would have said i was talking to so and so,thats i would have done when i use to have aim,if it was in person i would have turn around or left her,they always come back
 

Infraction

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Actually, i use AIM and it works well.
I stay logged in when i am on the p.c.
 

ElStud

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Michele said:
you missed the entire point. dont use AIM at all... no really... don't use aim.

it solves much of your problems... 1, a girl won't say "brb" to you in person... 2, you have **** to talk about in person, if you don't waste it over the net.

now on what to say... nothing... just log off and never speak on AIM again unless you're setting up a date, getting their number, or having a quick chat with a FRIEND seeing how theyre doing or something.

have your away message up always, it seem like you're busy. make it quick like, "out!" or the default... it seems like if you spend a ton of time on your away message you have no life.
Wow, I finally agree with Michele on one thing, don't use AIM. The bad thing about AIM is the girl can't really pick up any of the subconscious stuff, which matters a lot. If you tease her in real life, she might be able to pick up the fact that you're playing with her, but if you tease her on AIM she might be confused on how you meant it because again, the subconscious stuff isn't there on AIM. Likewise, you can't tell whether she's joking with you or if she's serious.
 

Axcell

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However, email/MSN/AIM can be very good to break the ice with a girl if you tend to be a little shy - and it helps set up the next "date" where both you and the girl meet in person, which is what I use it for.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Jolly_Roger

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If you want to text use Myspace, a lot better than AIM,but then again AIM did get me to hookup with a girl.
 
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