When she meets your friends

[sosilky]

My comment is about the bold print Posted by Poonani Maker from this Swingcat article: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=141882

But if you're just starting out, and you meet a woman, it's always better to bring her into your world. Go out with her alone, just you and her, or bring her around your friends that already like you, and she'll kind of hang on your side. You'll be kind of like the comfort zone. She'll be taking your lead, and will see you as the PRIZE she wants to attract. You're better off that way.]

I'll admit something I have friends women find extremly attractive for a number of reasons. as matter of fact most of us are pretty good catches. I'm not ashamed that some of them have a bit of an edge on me at this stage in the game. though. Often what happens is when you bring a girl into this circle the next thing you know down the rode she is banging one of the other guys she met through the original. and if she runs into your friend down the road and senses some mystery in him well you broke the ice for them. (And these girls aren't all wh0res) Some friends would never have the intention of doing such a thing or just wouldn't yet still the focus has been taken off you. When I bring a girl around my friends there has been a couple times where I swear I would catch her eyeing one of my friends. Is it better not to bring the girl around your friends that could be a potential threat or attract her. There by distracting her or taking her attention off you. Maybe bring her around them when she is 100% attached to you? if there is such a thing. Call me AFC if you like but I know DJs that deal with this as well. Because when a girl is exposed to a group of DJs she starts to wonder if she is with the right one.

 

[DonGorgon]

.....bring her around your friends that already like you, and she'll kind of hang on your side. You'll be kind of like the comfort zone.[/B]].

MOre like she will start flirting with them and probably F one in a weeks time... happens all the time.. I keep my hos and my male friends very separate....

ONly let a girl near your friends if they are you trusted friends fro 5 plus years and she has been with you for at least 2 years,,, even then its very risky..

 

[Desdinova]

This is more-or-less a problem with you rather than with the woman and / or your friends. If you're worried about losing a woman to one of your friends, either you're placing too much value on the woman or you don't trust your friends.

Women are a dime-a-dozen. If you lose one woman, you KNOW you can get another woman. If she's fvcking your best friend, neither her nor your friend respect you and they should both be dropped from your life.

 

[sosilky]

Women are a dime-a-dozen. If you lose one woman, you KNOW you can get another woman. If she's fvcking your best friend, neither her nor your friend respect you and they should both be dropped from your life.

Well some guys buy into the theory that you never let a girl come between friends...you know hate the player not the game.,,and as far as her respect well girls think with there emotions not logic right? and maybe shes not fvcking the friend yet her focus has been taken off you. If you read the last couple sentences of my OP I think you'll agree that no matter how DJ you are there is another DJ out there with equal game. You can't go around realisticaly thinking that you are the biggest DJ on the planet and no other guy is a threat.

 

[Desdinova]

You can't go around realisticaly thinking that you are the biggest DJ on the planet and no other guy is a threat.

A DJ doesn't worry about competition because IT'S JUST A WOMAN. He can get another one.

 

[sosilky]

A DJ doesn't worry about competition because IT'S JUST A WOMAN. He can get another one.

OK i think I get what your saying: There is no women that is special to a DJ, they are all the same, never commit to one....right?

 

[Desdinova]

There's nothing wrong with committing to a woman, but a woman should NOT be the definite source of happiness nor the sole reason for your existance.

 

[DonGorgon]

This is more-or-less a problem with you rather than with the woman and / or your friends. If you're worried about losing a woman to one of your friends, either you're placing too much value on the woman or you don't trust your friends.

Women are a dime-a-dozen. If you lose one woman, you KNOW you can get another woman. If she's fvcking your best friend, neither her nor your friend respect you and they should both be dropped from your life.

Many people expect too much from other people when we are all just human animals subject to temptation..

MOst people cheat and most men can be easily enticed by a pretty girl even if she is yours and you are his friend... Stop expecting loyalty, then laming yourself when you dont get it...

Your woman will cheat eventually anyway but you introducing her to new men makes her job easier.. I dont introduce any of my women to any new dudes ever...

oh and for most men.. women are not a dyme a dozen...

 

[DonGorgon]

There's nothing wrong with committing to a woman, but a woman should NOT be the definite source of happiness nor the sole reason for your existance.

And if you do commit you need to understand and accept that you are in a high risk (of infidelity) situation...

 

[sosilky]

Your woman will cheat eventually anyway but you introducing her to new men makes her job easier.. I dont introduce any of my women to any new dudes ever...

So you never bring them around your friends or other dudes? Do they ever complain about not bringing her around your friends? for two years? What do you do with them that whole time? Its funny one time I had a girl say to me, isn't that what peole do? doesn't everybody sleep with everybody? geeze . maybe thats why she finds hanging with girls to be drama and not guys

 

[DonGorgon]

So you never bring them around your friends or other dudes? Do they ever complain about not bring you around your friends? for ttwo years? What do you do with them that whole time? Its funny one time I had a girl say to me, isn't that what peole do? doesn't everybody sleep with everybody? geeze . maybe thats why she finds hanging with girls to be dram and not guys

Only An LTR of more than 2 years will met my best 3 friends .. but she will not be hanging around with them.. she will just know who they are..

Yeh every body does F everybody but the hypocrisy and pretense and lying is what makes it seem complicated

 

[sosilky]

Yeh every body does F everybody but the hypocrisy and pretense and lying is what makes it seem complicated

yeah I hear you brother, i don't understand why people have to lie about it. So what do you do with her all that time your keeping her from your friends?

 

[DonGorgon]

yeah I hear you brother, i don't understand why people have to lie about it. So what do you do with her all that time your keeping her from your friends?

I kept her entertained.... mentaly and physically! We had a loy in common so we loved doing things together so it worked..

I didi it for 8 year sin my last LTR! - i do fear that may be my last LTR though .. these modern women aint looking for real dedicated LTRs at all.....

 

[sosilky]

I didi it for 8 year sin my last LTR! - i do fear that may be my last LTR though .. these modern women aint looking for real dedicated LTRs at all.....

Funny thing is they will say and act like they want a LTR, but deep down they don't/ When describing dating or F-ing everybody in a previous post you mentioned the words, lieing, pretence and hypocracy. Lieing I know about but could you expand on pretence and hypocracy?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Women should only ever be a compliment to a Man's life, NEVER the focus of it.

You have to unlearn your Scarcity Mentality SOSILKY. The constant theme in all of your threads is a predisposition for ONEitis. You're what I call "pre-whipped"; you've been conditioned thus far in your life to believe that it's expected of man be gratefully submissive and monogamous to any future woman who might find you acceptable and you therefore prepare yourself for her by molding your personality to better identify with this.

It's time to unlearn this.

 

[sosilky]

It's time to unlearn this.

OK any readings, articles or threads you think I could benefit from?

here's where I get confused: If I'm with a girl and I'm acting cool and smooth like she is repalceable I think to myself well if she thinks i don't care, she gonna think well he doesn't give a **** about me or what i do i might as well go be with someone else. Then I start to put in effort... I don't want to say I do AFC things but maybe i do, its confusing.

 

[mrRuckus]

OK i think I get what your saying: There is no women that is special to a DJ, they are all the same, never commit to one....right?

That's a little drastic.

The mentality is that you don't have to settle for less because there are a lot of women who will be with you.

Never be afraid to next/dump a girl because you're afraid you can't get another. You can. And the more you better yourself as a man the easier it will be.

 

[Desdinova]

If I'm with a girl and I'm acting cool and smooth like she is repalceable I think to myself well if she thinks i don't care, she gonna think well he doesn't give a **** about me or what i do i might as well go be with someone else.

What you're doing here is imagining what's going on in her head. The reality is, you have absolutely no clue that she's thinking this. When you worry about what other people think, you become a slave to society. You will do what you think people want you to do, but in reality, most people don't give a 5hit because they're worried about what YOUR opinion is of them. This applies to both men and women.

If you want to know what a woman's thinking, ask her. If you don't get an answer, look at what she's doing; that will give you a good idea.

 

[DonGorgon]

Funny thing is they will say and act like they want a LTR, but deep down they don't/ When describing dating or F-ing everybody in a previous post you mentioned the words, lieing, pretence and hypocracy. Lieing I know about but could you expand on pretence and hypocracy?

pretence and hypocracy - any strategic misrepresentation of themself for gain.

 

[DJDamage]

Reminds me of a seinfeld epsiode of where Geroge does not want Suzanne to hang out with his friends because it will result in "World's Colliding". There is a relationship George and then there is indepdended Geroge and the two cannot coexist and it will result in relationship George killing independed Gerorge. A Geroge divided against himself cannot exist.

Personally if I am spining plates, the girl does not have to know my friends or my family. Maybe on occassions there will be bumping on some sort but generally I want to keep things seperatly. The last thing I need is someone I know to chime in and accidently give away the secret that I am spinning plates.