When She Invites A Male Friend To A Date

[Young Stallion]

So I met this girl 3 weeks ago.

The first time we met, all things went very well, one of those quick flirtatous interactions where I got her number and she seemed genuinely interested.

Last week we went on a date and it was pretty fun, had her smiling and laughing the whole time and we agreed to see each other again. I paid for the date and she said she had the bill next time.

She actually called me a couple of days later and said she wanted to see me again and we agreed to go for lunch about 6 days later, which was today.

While I was on my way to the date she asked if it was ok that she had invited and decided to bring her friend and supervisor at work on the lunch outing.

I was kinda shocked for a second but smoothley said sure thats cool. It ran through my mind that perhaps it was AFC to say it was ok...but then it is also AFC and insecure had I made a deal of it and said uhh no.

I arrived a couple of minutes before them and I was sitting in the booth and she didnt sit beside me, she went to the other side of the table and the other guy sat right beside her.

We all talked and had a pretty fun time, me and the dude actually hit it off pretty well and he was definitely a good guy. All 3 of us talked and clicked pretty well. Then afterwards she paid for my meal and her and the guy took off in his car.

Despite how well we all got along, I was kinda confused as to why she would want to see me again and then decide she was bringing her supervisor from work along.

Did I handle things correctly and what does it generally mean when a girl invites another guy out on the date LOL. I pretty much believe that it shows a low interest level but would be interested to here what you have to say.

Thanks.

-YS.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

This has got to be a joke?

You should have told her your straight and to hit her up when she is trying to go on a real date.

To me, this is very disrespectful. Your trying to date the girl. Nothing less. Stuff like this is unacceptable.

 

[Young Stallion]

This has got to be a joke?

You should have told her your straight and to hit her up when she is trying to go on a real date.

To me, this is very disrespectful. Your trying to date the girl. Nothing less. Stuff like this is unacceptable.

No joke AJ.

Yeah it really happened. Probably should have called off the date, I was nearly there though, chances are they were both in the car on their way when she called me.

I guess anything I thought was flirting in our first date meant absolutely nothing.

Yeah I wont be calling her again.

 

[Skalioppe]

The other guy is either her gay bestfriend or is banging her brains out every night and you're the nice friend-zone freak.

Next time when she asks, you say no but use humour and flirtation to decline politely but focus your intent, something like :

"How the hell am I supposed to flirt to my full potential with you with a chaperone in tow?! I'm selfish like that, so it's me and you alone or I'll invite my 72 year old neighbour as my custodian."

You've made her smile, so it's no offense to her, she knows your intentions, and you've shown you have the minerals to take control like a man does.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You had me going there for a while, I thought you were about to say you two men hit it off and decided to go on a date of your own. Yes, he is a great guy who will be seing her naked soon, or at least served as the planted c0ckblock!

A date with anybody else there is not a date. It is called a friendly get together. She told you she had already decided to invite the guy from work. She didn't ask if it was ok, SHE TOLD YOU! Bringing somebody else along was to make sure you didn't try to make a physical move, and to make sure it was clear that it would be kept at a friends only level. Bringing a straight guy, and paying for you, was her way of telling you she is not interested. How long was your first date? That is why you have to clearly state (by actions, not words) your intentions. A kiss would have put you into the "potential lover" category right away, as opposed to nice guy friend.

Best thing would have been to do what PBAJ mentioned, but in a cool, confident way, which was probably hard to do, as you weren't expecting this curve ball so you did choose the nexg best thing, to go with her, and basically dig your own grave on this one. There is also nothing you could have done, as she had decided beforehand that this would not get past the friends/platonic zone.

 

[Young Stallion]

You had me going there for a while, I thought you were about to say you two men hit it off and decided to go on a date of your own. Yes, he is a great guy who will be seing her naked soon, or at least served as the planted c0ckblock!

A date with anybody else there is not a date. It is called a friendly get together. She told you she had already decided to invite the guy from work. She didn't ask if it was ok, SHE TOLD YOU! Bringing somebody else along was to make sure you didn't try to make a physical move, and to make sure it was clear that it would be kept at a friends only level. Bringing a straight guy, and paying for you, was her way of telling you she is not interested. How long was your first date? That is why you have to clearly state (by actions, not words) your intentions. A kiss would have put you into the "potential lover" category right away, as opposed to nice guy friend.

Best thing would have been to do what PBAJ mentioned, but in a cool, confident way, which was probably hard to do, as you weren't expecting this curve ball so you did choose the nexg best thing, to go with her, and basically dig your own grave on this one. There is also nothing you could have done, as she had decided beforehand that this would not get past the friends/platonic zone.

Our first date was about an hour long and at a local bar for two drinks as we did not know each other very well. When she called me and asked me out on the second date I suggested a couple of evenings but she told me that she had dance class one night and had yoga the other night. (The other nights I had things to do), which is why we chose the lunch date.

On our first date I did flirt with her, I did do touch her forarm and flirt with her quite alot and she flirted back, but yeah it was not to the same extent.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Well, I don't know what exactly went down, as it is not mandatory to kiss, while it sure prevents her from pegging you as a friend only, that caused her to change her opinion on you, it most likely happened during the coffee date and/or during the days between. Could be a bunch of things, which I wouldn't worry too much overanalyzing at this point, but think if any of these are obvious things you do when around women you are attracted to. Were you smilling too much, too accomodating, laughing at her jokes too much, too too attentive, too agreeable, visibly nervous, etc.

But yes, don't initiate again with this one. Look at it this way, if there was a guy she really liked, NO CHANCE IN HELL she would invite you to go meet up with that guy.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah DTB. That's no date. She's probably hooking up with the work guy. You might have an experience like mine next if you continue ...

Next she will invite you to a party at her place. Friends, coworkers, and that guy friend will be there.

At the end of the party, you'll be second to last to leave. Her "friend" will tell you that he's gonna stay for a few more minutes longer to "help her clean up.". You'll ask if he needs any help. He says "No, I'm all set thanks."

Your car pulls away. His doesn't...

 

[MisterD]

As already mentioned, you personally didn't do anything wrong in this situation. You handled it as best you could given the sudden curveball.

With that said, I would next this chick.

Anytime a girl brings someone along for the date, man or woman, it is not a date.

 

[Young Stallion]

Well, I don't know what exactly went down, as it is not mandatory to kiss, while it sure prevents her from pegging you as a friend only, that caused her to change her opinion on you, it most likely happened during the coffee date and/or during the days between. Could be a bunch of things, which I wouldn't worry too much overanalyzing at this point, but think if any of these are obvious things you do when around women you are attracted to. Were you smilling too much, too accomodating, laughing at her jokes too much, too too attentive, too agreeable, visibly nervous, etc.

But yes, don't initiate again with this one. Look at it this way, if there was a guy she really liked, NO CHANCE IN HELL she would invite you to go meet up with that guy.

Yeah, basically she is in another castle and she liked me as a friend and probably thought I was a nice guy when I met her. Which is why she agreed to go out with me in the first place, when I got physical and flirtatious with her on the first date she probably got really turned off because thats not what she wanted from me. This probably caused her to call me up to go out so she could tell me in her own way that she wasnt interested. She probably just shouldnt have called me or asked me out. Although I probably would have called her eventually which likely would have lead to the same situation.

Point 1, she wasnt interested
Point 2, I should have said no to the date somehow when she told me she was bringing another guy, even if I was only a minute away from the resteraunt, which I was...I should have declined as soon as she told me that.

 

[perseverance]

Two is company, three's a crowd. I'd have never accepted that if I was you. I'd have told her to get back to me when she is serious about going on a proper date.

 

[Young Stallion]

Yeah DTB. That's no date. She's probably hooking up with the work guy. You might have an experience like mine next if you continue ...

Next she will invite you to a party at her place. Friends, coworkers, and that guy friend will be there.

At the end of the party, you'll be second to last to leave. Her "friend" will tell you that he's gonna stay for a few more minutes longer to "help her clean up.". You'll ask if he needs any help. He says "No, I'm all set thanks."

Your car pulls away. His doesn't...

Thanks Mike, I will make sure I exit out of this situation now so this does not happen to me in the future.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Actually, it wasn't that bad. Think about it, either scenario would have ended up with you in the friend zone, so why not go kick it and not burn bridges, meet two cool people, and get a free lunch! I really see no loosers here! You handled it well, you got a free lunch, most girls would have felt entitled to a free lunch and not paid, and at least she let you down easy, without burning any bridges. As long as you don't develop one-itis, you might want to make these two aquaintances or friends, as you know, people know more people. You won either way, you got a free lunch, you know what todo next time you encounter this type of situation.

 

[Young Stallion]

Actually, it wasn't that bad. Think about it, either scenario would have ended up with you in the friend zone, so why not go kick it and not burn bridges, meet two cool people, and get a free lunch! I really see no loosers here! You handled it well, you got a free lunch, most girls would have felt entitled to a free lunch and not paid, and at least she let you down easy, without burning any bridges. As long as you don't develop one-itis, you might want to make these two aquaintances or friends, as you know, people know more people. You won either way, you got a free lunch, you know what todo next time you encounter this type of situation.

Meh, I will let her pursue the friendship if that is what she wishes. However if I did do this, the story that MikeCCT told a few posts up may come true, and that would not be a good thing.

 

[TopGun2000]

or she just wants to add you to her option list and keep you around but you are definitely not at the top of her list

or she's just bored and playing some silly games with you

 

[Zerro]

I had a chick do something like this once, it was supposed to be just the two of us and at the last second she invited another dude. For extra awkwardness the other dude was a friend of mine whom I knew had a crush on her but she wasn't interested in him.

Neither of us speak with that chick anymore.

 

[SharinganUser]

It's weird. Delete her number and never talk to her again.

 

[nismo-4]

Yeah, basically she is in another castle.

Glad you realized.

This case is a THREE'S A F**KIN' CROWD!!!

When a woman isn't interested in you sexually, this is what happens.

Judge nismo knows that when that curve ball came, there was no good in this that was for you. Because I was that guy who came along with her! LOL JK. :crackup:

She had you already in the friendzone. She didn't want things to go further. She also wanted to see if she can have you. You took the bait. She left with the other guy sadly. You shot yourself in the chest. You were better off flaking on her.

Women know their feelings. Trust me.:yes:

You are guilty of failure to spin plates, accepting the friendzone, and feeding an attention wh0re. This comes with a fine of 2 blue balls, a confused mind, and a trip to Unwanted Wood, Alabama.

Spinning more plates and deleting her number is the best thing that is for you. Now advance to World 2-1 on the double!

Case closed.

 

[ezio]

Yeah DTB. That's no date. She's probably hooking up with the work guy. You might have an experience like mine next if you continue ...

Next she will invite you to a party at her place. Friends, coworkers, and that guy friend will be there.

At the end of the party, you'll be second to last to leave. Her "friend" will tell you that he's gonna stay for a few more minutes longer to "help her clean up.". You'll ask if he needs any help. He says "No, I'm all set thanks."

Your car pulls away. His doesn't...

i feel your pain bro

 

[JohnChops]

is this real? **** that ***** and go find a new girl.