When she doesn't mention her boyfriend...

[Quick_Isk]

My personal thing is 2 a week which maintains a stable plate. Coffee or something small during the week (with pda, kissing, etc), and a weekend night for sex. Change it up sometimes to not fall into too much of a routine. Have a few fun/interesting/sexual message conversations throughout the week.

More than that, and she's probably your girlfriend whether you like it or not.

The reason I am keeping my distance is not so much because I don't want her to think that I am trying to be her boyfriend, but not to get attached. I have the gut feeling that she is a bit of a female player and could be ****ing multiple other dudes. Or it could be my bad past with some BPD's that have made me be a bit more cautious. Also, although I enjoy the fact that she is into me I see the fact that she is cheating as a red flag and predictor of future bad behavior.

 

[Quick_Isk]

So, some more news since this thing is progressing.

Dating is going well. Hanging out doing things 2-3 days a week. A lot of talking, laughing, having sex, kissing etc. Having increasingly more deep conversations in which she is revealing a more sensitive side. So it is not only a physical thing.

The other day she asks me: "How come you don't ask about my boyfriend and what is going on with him?". I respond that it is not something I can have direct saying on and I can understand your position so I try to keep it simple. She says: "I hope you don't think I only think about us for sex because I like you a lot". I say of course I don't think that. She then tells me that she has been with this guy for 7 years and had broken up with him recently, so it is a bit unclear. Also told me that her parents are putting pressure on her not to break up with him.

I can understand that she is a tough spot so I try not to get involved in any of these. Just have fun and keep it simple. She is giving me the impression that she doesn't want to be perceived as a sloot or unethical.

In addition, she is trying to figure out a way to stay in the same country and not go back to her home country where her boyfriend is.

Any advice on how to deal with things from now on? Should I ask more about what the status with the BF is or will that come of as needy and insecure? I actually don't care that much but don't want to give her the impression that she can have her cake and eat it too.

 

[Quick_Isk]

Don't get so sucked in. Keep approaching others.

That alone will give you perspective.

Thanks, that is what I am trying to do. She is the one pursuing a bit more and getting me sucked in acting GF mode.

There are some red flags with her that I cant overlook and has been causing me to have some doubts about her quality so I am not emotionally involved. But sometimes you get attached without realizing how it happened.