When she asks "are you bringing your friends?"

[TheTraveller]

Hi,

After a great night at the club with a local (Hong Kong) girl (some great dancing going on, her friends left her there with me), I got the digits. Gave her a call and invited her to dinner on the weekend and she asks "are you bringing your friends"? This is the SECOND girl that has asked me this so far in HK! Back in North America, if a guys asks a girl out directly, I think the ladies would assume you are asking them out and that is it. But why is it here they ask "are you bringing your friends"? Clueless?

She is still meeting with me and I told her I'm not bringing anyone with.

Why would they ask something like this? Could it really be a cultural thing?

Please advice!

Thanks,
- t

 

[TheTraveller]

I thought this could be a sign of low interest, but she was really enjoying herself in the club and accepted my date offer (and even offered another time if the time she offered was bad for me).

Confused? Or should I be?

Thanks in advance.

 

[ChesterB]

I can't interprete it, but I can tell you what I would do:
1. Don't bring your friends.
2. Go on the date and use your DJ skills.

 

[TheTraveller]

True... but, would you regard this question as her basically asking, in a roundabout way (********) that: "is this a date"?

The thing that is confusing is that by asking this doesn't seem to reveal their interest level in you. I guess I will have to work the kino again and see how things go. She was very receptive with the kino at the club, always leaning on me once I initiated the kino, constantly resting her head on my shoulder, all that nice stuff. Hoping for some even more nice stuff soon

 

[chlywly]

Possibly a cultural thing, hongkong people tend to like to chill in large groups of friends, I notice that bigtime here where there are tons of fobs from HK

 

[TheTraveller]

True dude. I know people in Canada, T dot especially. I hope this girl is "westernized"

 

[Big Pappy]

Traditionally, Asian cultures tend to date in groups. They are usually exclusive at this point. After they get to know each other, then date others as a basis for comparison. At least, that's how it was explained to me. (of course, his English wasn't that great.)
Also, when they are talking casually, they don't stand as close to you as an American would. So, don't panic, it's not your breath.

 

[TheTraveller]

So I take it as:

Date in groups = initial stages?

Date individually (just you and your date go out) = serious relationship?

In either case, I gotta show the Western way!

 

[TheTraveller]

So the report is that we had a nice date which ended up back at my place, but she had to leave a few hours later since to get home to her parents (yes she still lives @ home).

But now, I called her last night and after exchanging greetings on the phone, she said she was having some troubles at work, so I told her I can call her back, but she insisted that she call me back later last night (at around midnight). Low and behold, she didn't call back! I know people say NEXT, but I mean should I just wait 1 more day and then call her back, just to be sure everything is fine at work and then book a 2nd date or just wait it out? I just find it hard to see the interest level dropping just like that.

Thanks,
- t

 

[deeloo]

i live in hong kong.. been livin here for 9 years.. and all i gotta say is that the whole group thing is just complete bull****.. girls r a bit more conservative here, yes.. (mostly locals) but not to the extent that they need to date in groups.. she might just be checking if ure ACTUALLY askin her out on a date cuz she might be insecure.

oh and which club did u go to? Dragon Eye? ING? I go to ING nearly every friday..

 

[TheTraveller]

I went to Queens... Now, my last night in HK before I move back to North America is Dec. 26, which is a Friday... is ING the place to be on a Friday? I want to make my last night here amazing, meet some less conservative girls and have some *fun*, if you know what I'm saying! Because I think I just scared this one off...

 

[deeloo]

ING is nice

on friday from 10.30 - 1 it's HKD$110 all you can drink... it's hiphop/RnB music.. 3 rooms.. the main room is where everything happens.. and there's a chinese room where only the local people go to, avoid that place.. and a chilling room that is hardly open on fridays.

only downside (not for me though) is that there are a lot of young ppl there.. thats not good for u if u like to hang with older people.. every friday night all the international high skoo kids go there.. age ranging from 16-19.. im part of that crowd.. so jsut a word of warning.. hehe

 

[ShizamDaMan]

I wouldn't worry about her calling you back. In my experience, if you leave it up to the girl to contact you she will never do it unless her IL is damn near +90%.

It's been said before, you gotta go out and take charge. Can't count on a girl to do anything right

 

[la-migra-is-after-me]

or just turn it back around on her....

or u could jokingly say:

yeah maybe i should bring some more people in case you turn out to be a serial rapist.....then give her a big smile. this should work well as a response