This post is inspired by one of Tyler Durden's recent discussion on self improvement. I'm finding self improvement to be a bit of a double edged sword. You will soon recognize that your potential is essentially limitless. I am nowhere near as good as I want to be, in any area of my life. But some of the things I've done and witnessed are very close to being unfathomable, based upon the limiting beliefs I used to have, and am still trying to overcome.
On the other hand, if you shine "too brightly," your star can be overwhelming to many people, leading them to become intimidated, flustered, or simply unable to process who you are, since you do not fit into any preconceived category.
For example, I am in a profession in which most people are highly intelligent (in the theoretical sense), but socially awkward, especially with members of the opposite sex. Also, members of my profession tend to lead a rather "monastic" lifestyle, or at least attempt to give the appearance thereof.
So when they see me, yours truly, especially for the first time, especially the women in my profession, my co-workers become highly flustered, sexually aroused and often don't want me around. This sounds like a paradox. When people find you attractive, they want you around right? Here's the explanation. The women in my profession (now) find me very attractive, often to the point of loss of self control. However, they don't like this feeling of being out of control, especially at work, so they feel more comfortable simply NOT having me around.
I have learned this much to my chagrin during job interviews. Everyone else they've interviewed or hired, is nerdy, professional and sexually unthreatening. I am good looking, highly confident, very professional of course, but they can't seem to me strictly in professional terms.
For example, on one interview, the human resources secretary turned beet red in the face, then slowly rose out of her chair when I entered the room, and stuck her hand inside her blouse and began to fondle her chest! She then began arguing with another HR staff member about who would lead me to my first meeting of the day. Later that day, I was meeting with a prospective co-worker, but she refused to meet with me alone. Her supervisor insisted, but I could tell she was sexually aroused and didn't want to be alone with me.
Trust me, I am not making ANY of this up. I now automatically project a strong sexual energy and confidence. It's not something I can turn on and off. But this can lead women co-workers to become very guarded. It can even lead to being denied job opportunities.
How can I deal with this?
On the other hand, if you shine "too brightly," your star can be overwhelming to many people, leading them to become intimidated, flustered, or simply unable to process who you are, since you do not fit into any preconceived category.
For example, I am in a profession in which most people are highly intelligent (in the theoretical sense), but socially awkward, especially with members of the opposite sex. Also, members of my profession tend to lead a rather "monastic" lifestyle, or at least attempt to give the appearance thereof.
So when they see me, yours truly, especially for the first time, especially the women in my profession, my co-workers become highly flustered, sexually aroused and often don't want me around. This sounds like a paradox. When people find you attractive, they want you around right? Here's the explanation. The women in my profession (now) find me very attractive, often to the point of loss of self control. However, they don't like this feeling of being out of control, especially at work, so they feel more comfortable simply NOT having me around.
I have learned this much to my chagrin during job interviews. Everyone else they've interviewed or hired, is nerdy, professional and sexually unthreatening. I am good looking, highly confident, very professional of course, but they can't seem to me strictly in professional terms.
For example, on one interview, the human resources secretary turned beet red in the face, then slowly rose out of her chair when I entered the room, and stuck her hand inside her blouse and began to fondle her chest! She then began arguing with another HR staff member about who would lead me to my first meeting of the day. Later that day, I was meeting with a prospective co-worker, but she refused to meet with me alone. Her supervisor insisted, but I could tell she was sexually aroused and didn't want to be alone with me.
Trust me, I am not making ANY of this up. I now automatically project a strong sexual energy and confidence. It's not something I can turn on and off. But this can lead women co-workers to become very guarded. It can even lead to being denied job opportunities.
How can I deal with this?
