Although I was young and inexperienced, I was awesome with girls. I was always smiling, very social, pretty charming, and charismatic. Could easily become the life of a party. I could get a girl to laugh and become very comfortable with me. I landed a lot of girls this way.
Then I started doing LTR's. This is when things got dirty. Turns out I can get excited about a girl just because we both really like each other and we have a ton of fun. Seems harmless right? Of course that means I want to spend more time with her (yes, I know, have a busy life so this doesn't happen, which I did for the most part, but it's hard to not want to spend time with someone who's fun). This lead to clingyness, which only leads to thinking a lot, which leads to insecurity, etc.
Some of these girls I've should of seriously avoided, due to the fact that their ex's messed them up. Long story short: I was Mr. Rebound (before I knew what that meant).
I went down this bad road a couple times and it has really killed my inner game. I'm pretty much the opposite of what I've described above (for the most part....if nothing else I've become way more pessimistic). I don't catch girls looking at me nearly as much, I can't hold a conversation without a little anxiety breathing down my neck, even my smiles seem less effective.
Now I'm having a hell of a time getting that self-esteem and security in my mind back. While I can get girls to like me, they're mostly ones who have personal problems themselves. And even the decent ones I find myself getting very nervous over (as far as the outcome goes). I want an LTR, but sometimes I wonder if that's only so I can feel more secure about myself (which won't solve an inner game issue).
If you've read this far, I owe you a beer.
Then I started doing LTR's. This is when things got dirty. Turns out I can get excited about a girl just because we both really like each other and we have a ton of fun. Seems harmless right? Of course that means I want to spend more time with her (yes, I know, have a busy life so this doesn't happen, which I did for the most part, but it's hard to not want to spend time with someone who's fun). This lead to clingyness, which only leads to thinking a lot, which leads to insecurity, etc.
Some of these girls I've should of seriously avoided, due to the fact that their ex's messed them up. Long story short: I was Mr. Rebound (before I knew what that meant).
I went down this bad road a couple times and it has really killed my inner game. I'm pretty much the opposite of what I've described above (for the most part....if nothing else I've become way more pessimistic). I don't catch girls looking at me nearly as much, I can't hold a conversation without a little anxiety breathing down my neck, even my smiles seem less effective.
Now I'm having a hell of a time getting that self-esteem and security in my mind back. While I can get girls to like me, they're mostly ones who have personal problems themselves. And even the decent ones I find myself getting very nervous over (as far as the outcome goes). I want an LTR, but sometimes I wonder if that's only so I can feel more secure about myself (which won't solve an inner game issue).
If you've read this far, I owe you a beer.