When Pua Push/Pull goes wrong???

[SoSuaveDude]

Girl says im assertive/dominant in everything i do except when it comes to her. She clearly is into me, but seems like she expects me to make all the moves/intiate phone talk. Problem is that she doesn't realize that will ultimately kill attraction and make me appear somewhat needy! Ive even pulled a no contact on her before! See Im trying to seduce this girl, but that made me think that maybe she's to conditioned for this tatic to work. Any tips??? Oh and she's a 23 y/o christian virgin, so im starting to think she's untouchable and im just wasting my time. We made out on our first date which was about a month ago, and that was about it. Ill push for one more date over spring break, and if nothing pops off i guess i should dip!

 

[Korrupt]

Girl says im assertive/dominant in everything i do except when it comes to her. She clearly is into me, but seems like she expects me to make all the moves/intiate phone talk. Problem is that she doesn't realize that will ultimately kill attraction and make me appear somewhat needy! Ive even pulled a no contact on her before! See Im trying to seduce this girl, but that made me think that maybe she's to conditioned for this tatic to work. Any tips??? Oh and she's a 23 y/o christian virgin, so im starting to think she's untouchable and im just wasting my time. We made out on our first date which was about a month ago, and that was about it. Ill push for one more date over spring break, and if nothing pops off i guess i should dip!

Did SHE tell you that?

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Did SHE tell you that?

Yeah, but i know she is for sure. her closest friends say that, and i can just tell she is. She likes to think as if she's saving it for marriage. What is your take on the situation?

 

[Biggie]

but seems like she expects me to make all the moves/intiate phone talk.

This IS what you're supposed to do. She's not gonna make a move. Making a move is not gonna kill the attraction if you do it in an assertive way. NOT making a move will kill her attraction for you.

 

[Chickfight]

Need more info.

It seems to me that she already lost interest, her complaining about you not initiating calls is just her reverse reasoning trying to justify it, but I'm not sure. Christian girls are tricky. Does she still seem really into you?

Also, how does it work when you're making out? Do you never try to escalate? Do you try, but she stops you?

In any case, do not give into her complaints, it's just what she THINKS she wants. She fell for you because you were acting the way you were, changing that won't help.

If you mean seducing her as in getting to bang her, then the key is escalation. Get her to a place where you're alone and escalate from making out.

Check this out:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/10/17/a-step-by-step-ladder-of-escalation/

Since she's Christian she may resist. In that case, just do an old fashioned freeze out. She has to associate saying no to you with loss of pleasure.

I swear, good relationships are all about conditioning. Just make sure you're not the one being conditioned.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Need more info.

It seems to me that she already lost interest, her complaining about you not initiating calls is just her reverse reasoning trying to justify it, but I'm not sure. Christian girls are tricky. Does she still seem really into you?

Also, how does it work when you're making out? Do you never try to escalate? Do you try, but she stops you?

In any case, do not give into her complaints, it's just what she THINKS she wants. She fell for you because you were acting the way you were, changing that won't help.

If you mean seducing her as in getting to bang her, then the key is escalation. Get her to a place where you're alone and escalate from making out.

Check this out:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/10/17/a-step-by-step-ladder-of-escalation/

Since she's Christian she may resist. In that case, just do an old fashioned freeze out. She has to associate saying no to you with loss of pleasure.

I swear, good relationships are all about conditioning. Just make sure you're not the one being conditioned.

If she lost interest, what can i do about that. I still have to see her because shes in my social circle lmao.

 

[Chickfight]

If she lost interest, what can i do about that. I still have to see her because shes in my social circle lmao.

There are only two ways to fix loss of interest:

-Going no contact (whatever it was that made her lose interest, it wasn't you not calling her enough.)
-Her seeing you with other girls (the hotter and more they are into you, the better)

and that's IT, I defy anyone to come up with a realistic third.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

So i called her out, and told her that it's time to move on. Im initiating no contact. My only problem now, is that im unsure what to do when i see her. Completely ignoring her in person would be a prick move right?

 

[SoSuaveDude]

bumpty!

 

[Igetit!]

Girl says im assertive/dominant in everything i do except when it comes to her. She clearly is into me, but seems like she expects me to make all the moves/intiate phone talk.

From everything you've said so far,it seems like the only thing this girl is guilty of is wanting you to be a MAN.


You say that she says that in everything else except for her,you're dominant and assertive. Well apparantly that's what drew her to you.
She was expecting to see that "dominance and assertiveness" in her relationship with you.

Problem is that she doesn't realize that will ultimately kill attraction and make me appear somewhat needy!

Really? You thought that being assertive with her would make you look needy? Hmm. So to avoid "killing" her attraction for you,you PURPOSELY CHOSE NOT TO BE assertive and dominant,and decided to go a different route.

And as a result of that decision,this happened....

So i called her out, and told her that it's time to move on.

.


You're moving on. You CHOSE to not be dominant with her to avoid "killing" her attraction,but it looks like killing her attraction is EXACTLY what you did anyway.



She gave you the key to what she saw in you that attracted her to you,but you let a misunderstanding you have wreck things.



All she wanted you to do was be a man,not be clingly and call her 50 times a day.



It just is what it is. In the beginning of a relationship,the man has to do all the work. You invest,you call,you make the plans. As time goes by and she gets more emotionally attached to you,you can start to ease off,then she'll do more of the initiating.


Biggie was right. All she was wanting you to do was what you were SUPPOSED TO BE doing.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

dam i left her a long AFC message on how we cannot be together... I know you're saying that i wasn't being dominant. But hell i made out with the girl and ever since the first date, she seemed to get more distant... I tried to establish something shortly after the date, but she started ignoring my text. I had days where i did sweet things for her like on valentines day and she completely brushed it off (didn't even call me after, just texted thanks sweetie.). Idk in the long run, i think i made the right choice. Looking back, I feel as if she was stringing me along for the ride, and pushed away/got distant whenever i got too close. She's most likely an AW.

Edit: @ Igetit! i texted her yesterday and she dropped mid convo... Ive tried calling, but no answer. This has happened a considerable amount of times. So today i decided that it's best to move on and quit playing childish games....

Edit: And maybe i did make the wrong decision, but now it's her turn to be "dominant" LMAO! If she is truly into me as she claimed, she'll find a way back into my life.

Edit: I guess i cracked the 10 post limit, so ill update here...

@ Igetit, that's the problem, i don't recall doing anything in particular to make her grow distant after the first date...We made out, and a week later she froze. And how is her being an AW my fault??? She's had 2 serious relationships which were about 5 years ago, and this girl has told me that in her past relationships, the guy has always left her because she gets distant... I know i proceeded and completely ignored the red flag which was my fault, but i think her "AWness" clearly correlates with her dysfunctional qualities for a relationship. She was the one who initially pushed for a relationship, and i tried to bring that to fruition, and apparently got shot down. Also, what is your advice on us now... do i just keep no contact and act friendly when i see her in public??

 

[Igetit!]

dam i left her a long AFC message on how we cannot be together... I know you're saying that i wasn't being dominant. But hell i made out with the girl and ever since the first date, she seemed to get more distant... I tried to establish something shortly after the date, but she started ignoring my text.

Look.is HARD to walk into a movie an hour after it's already started and know exactly what's going on.


All you're telling us is RESULTS. You said that after the first date,she seemed to get distant with you. You say that you tried to establish something with her after the date,but she ignored your text.


You telling us how things TURNED OUT,but we don't know what all went down BEFORE her being distant and ignoring you text started.


We don't even know WHEN she gave you the whole "you're being assertive and dominant in everything else" speech. You're giving us all these facts out of the order that they happened.


How are we supposed to make sense of it all? And this thing right here....

I had days where i did sweet things for her like on valentines day

Depending on the context of the "relationship",this could have been completely out of line,or completely appropiate,but because the lack of details you've provided,it's hard to say which.


But because of how she responded to you,and her NOT getting anything for you for Valentine's Day (if she didn't),I'd say it was premature.

Looking back, I feel as if she was stringing me along for the ride, and pushed away/got distant whenever i got too close.

Too close? There's just not enough info here. What does "too close" mean?

She's most likely an AW.

If she is an Aw,it's YOUR FAULT. Yeah,I said YOUR FAULT.


Look,THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A 100% AW.


If she was an Aw,she was an Aw with YOU.


There's NO SUCH THING as a 100% AW. If that were the case,then NO GUY would be able to date her because she'd be an AW with EVERYONE.

She'd be a virgin FOR LIFE because every guy who approached her would get the AW treatment.




So if she is an attention wh0re,then she's one WITH YOU,and if she's one with you,then somehow and in someway,the way you've behaved towards her DREW IT OUT of her.

Edit: @ Igetit! i texted her yesterday and she dropped mid convo... Ive tried calling, but no answer. This has happened a considerable amount of times. So today i decided that it's best to move on and quit playing childish games....

Ok,then fine,drop her. Just know that if this sort of thing happens REPEATEDLY with girl after girl,it's not them,it's YOU.


The good news is that it's fixable,but next time you're going to need to provide more info/details about the situation you find yourself in.