When No Contacting how should you behave when you pass by her?

[big weezy]

I don't understand this No Contact thing that well. IF you pass by her and she's avoiding eye contact looking straight forward but has a smile/smurk on her face, should you still say hi and be smiling too?

Let's assume she's lost interest in you rather than playing hard to get.

 

[katatonia]

Completely ignore her like she is a ghost.

 

[Igetit!]

I don't understand this No Contact thing that well. IF you pass by her and she's avoiding eye contact looking straight forward but has a smile/smurk on her face, should you still say hi and be smiling too?

Let's assume she's lost interest in you rather than playing hard to get.

There's not enough information here to give you an accurate answer.


Who is this girl? Is she someone you've seen from afar,have never spoken to,but who you'd like to date?


Is she someone you've already been in contact with and have known for a while,but have yet to ask her out?



Or someone you've already asked out,set up a date with,but instead of showing up,she cancelled at the last minute,telling you she couldn't make it?



It'd be VERY HELPFUL to know what sort of situation you're in with the girl.


"No CONTACT" isn't a one size fits all cure for EVERY situation you encounter with a girl. Sometimes "contact" is needed.



We need to know where you're currently at to help you get to where you want to go.

 

[big weezy]

There's not enough information here to give you an accurate answer.


Who is this girl? Is she someone you've seen from afar,have never spoken to,but who you'd like to date?


Is she someone you've already been in contact with and have known for a while,but have yet to ask her out?



Or someone you've already asked out,set up a date with,but instead of showing up,she cancelled at the last minute,telling you she couldn't make it?



It'd be VERY HELPFUL to know what sort of situation you're in with the girl.


"No CONTACT" isn't a one size fits all cure for EVERY situation you encounter with a girl. Sometimes "contact" is needed.



We need to know where you're currently at to help you get to where you want to go.

Let's say for all the scenarios what would the solution be would you suggest?

Primarily, one which you have been on a couple dates with and now she's lost interest, or maybe met someone better and is now flaking.

If she has told you to leave her alone then I guess there is no point in being civil right?

 

[Igetit!]

Who is this girl? Is she someone you've seen from afar,have never spoken to,but who you'd like to date?

Well for this one,"No contact" would be ridiculous.

Why would "no contact" be needed for someone you've never met or even spoken to. So it wouldn't apply here.

Is she someone you've already been in contact with and have known for a while,but have yet to ask her out?

"No Contact" isn't required for this one either. If you've been around a girl for a while,but have yet to ask her out,you're most likely in the friendzone.

At that point,you can just forget about her. Going no contact for 2 YEARS and being COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when you return might work,but other than that,it's over.

Or someone you've already asked out,set up a date with,but instead of showing up,she cancelled at the last minute,telling you she couldn't make it?

Now on this one,going No Contact would be appropiate,especially if the girl has cancelled on you like 2 or 3 times,but keeps calling you and saying she still wants to see you.


The problem here with this last one is the girl is an attention wh0re,so "no contact" is needed to wean her off the attention and raise her interest level.


This thing about a girl telling you to leave her alone...if a girl tells you to leave her alone,you've got BIGGER PROBLEMS to deal with,and whatever those problems are,going "no contact" won't solve them


If a girl says to leave her alone,then LEAVE HER ALONE.

 

[big weezy]

Well for this one,"No contact" would be ridiculous.

Why would "no contact" be needed for someone you've never met or even spoken to. So it wouldn't apply here.




"No Contact" isn't required for this one either. If you've been around a girl for a while,but have yet to ask her out,you're most likely in the friendzone.

At that point,you can just forget about her. Going no contact for 2 YEARS and being COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when you return might work,but other than that,it's over.


Now on this one,going No Contact would be appropiate,especially if the girl has cancelled on you like 2 or 3 times,but keeps calling you and saying she still wants to see you.


The problem here with this last one is the girl is an attention wh0re,so "no contact" is needed to wean her off the attention and raise her interest level.


This thing about a girl telling you to leave her alone...if a girl tells you to leave her alone,you've got BIGGER PROBLEMS to deal with,and whatever those problems are,going "no contact" won't solve them


If a girl says to leave her alone,then LEAVE HER ALONE.

What about this other girl, I arranged a date with her and she cancels on me last minute and I think I pulled the No Contact thing too soon rather than negging her for it first.

Anyway me and her weren't speaking, then I saw her again and started talking to her about some other girl problem I had cos I felt that I was friendzoned anyway so it didn't matter.

Fast forward to today and she comes over to talk to me when I was with my female friend, I didn't know she was there. Anyway she kept kino'ing me touching my shoulder as she left, the conversation was pretty dry but I got this sense she wanted to bang.

I went over to her after to try to arrange a meet up with her on Sunday before she leaves to go on holiday, initially I tried for tonight but I made mistake of asking ''so what are you doing tonight?'' rather than saying ''lets meet up later tonight..'' she had dinner with some friends this evening so I would have got that answer anyway. If she really was looking to bang would she arrange a time with me to meet after?

I think she's an attention wh0re though. Pretty face but her body is quite plump so I think she's insecure and needs constant male attention.

 

[2crudedudes]

What about this other girl, I arranged a date with her and she cancels on me last minute and I think I pulled the No Contact thing too soon rather than negging her for it first.

Anyway me and her weren't speaking, then I saw her again and started talking to her about some other girl problem I had cos I felt that I was friendzoned anyway so it didn't matter.

Fast forward to today and she comes over to talk to me when I was with my female friend, I didn't know she was there. Anyway she kept kino'ing me touching my shoulder as she left, the conversation was pretty dry but I got this sense she wanted to bang.

I went over to her after to try to arrange a meet up with her on Sunday before she leaves to go on holiday, initially I tried for tonight but I made mistake of asking ''so what are you doing tonight?'' rather than saying ''lets meet up later tonight..'' she had dinner with some friends this evening so I would have got that answer anyway. If she really was looking to bang would she arrange a time with me to meet after?

I think she's an attention wh0re though. Pretty face but her body is quite plump so I think she's insecure and needs constant male attention.

I dunno dude, I don't like talking to girls about girl problems. That's what guy friends are for. The only time I talk to a girl about another is when things are going great.

 

[Jhcl4000]

You need to move on. At least start talking to and attempting to date other girls. This way, you can pull off the no contact with her, and have other (better, more quality) girls in your life.

 

[big weezy]

Well for this one,"No contact" would be ridiculous.

Why would "no contact" be needed for someone you've never met or even spoken to. So it wouldn't apply here.




"No Contact" isn't required for this one either. If you've been around a girl for a while,but have yet to ask her out,you're most likely in the friendzone.

At that point,you can just forget about her. Going no contact for 2 YEARS and being COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when you return might work,but other than that,it's over.


Now on this one,going No Contact would be appropiate,especially if the girl has cancelled on you like 2 or 3 times,but keeps calling you and saying she still wants to see you.


The problem here with this last one is the girl is an attention wh0re,so "no contact" is needed to wean her off the attention and raise her interest level.


This thing about a girl telling you to leave her alone...if a girl tells you to leave her alone,you've got BIGGER PROBLEMS to deal with,and whatever those problems are,going "no contact" won't solve them


If a girl says to leave her alone,then LEAVE HER ALONE.

An issue I have is that I feel I shouldn't need to get to a stage where No Contact is necessary. If she forgot a date and I show up at her door and then after she doesn't have a valid explanation why she forgot I'd have to walk away and then No Contact right?

But as I pass by her in that situation I should just pretend she doesn't exist?

I thought you're suppose to look happy and unaffected. So smile but pretend like she isn't there, eyes forward walk straight through. Does she get satisfaction if my eyes wander to the side to look at her reaction that I'm noticing her?

I had a semi frown on my face but she was walking past me from the opposite direction so it caught me by surprise and it was at night, she had a smurk on her face but she had her eyes forward pretending she didn't notice me. I assume if my head turns and looks it gives her attention.

 

[Igetit!]

An issue I have is that I feel I shouldn't need to get to a stage where No Contact is necessary.

BINGO DUDE. This is EXACTLY right.

Ideally speaking,if things are going good between you and a girl,"no contact" shouldn't have to be used...EVER.


You still need to avoid spending too much time with her and being too available,but if things are going well,"NO CONTACT" shouldn't have to be introduced into the situation.

If she forgot a date and I show up at her door and then after she doesn't have a valid explanation why she forgot I'd have to walk away and then No Contact right?

WRONG.

First of all,I wouldn't believe it if a girl told me she "forgot" about our date,but let's say that's true,and she indeed did forget...


Well if you made so little of an impact on her that she forgot all about YOU (because YOU and "THE DATE" are one),then why...IN THE WORLD would you go no contact then?



"No Contact" is you removing yourself from her life. Well she thinks about you so seldom that she actually forgot you two had a date,how does No contact/removing yourself from her life supposed to make her want to see you? That's dumb.


If she can't even remember she has a date scheduled with you,you think staying away from her is supposed to help?



In this situation,you NEED to call her,speak to her,you need to interject yourself into her mind.

But as I pass by her in that situation I should just pretend she doesn't exist?

NO.

Talk to her. See how she's doing/what she's been up to. Tell her how you've been. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT she "forgot" she had a date planned with you,but if she did forget,then I'd just talk to her and reschedule


Don't ignore her. Even if what she said was a lie,don't ignore her. All ignoring her does is let her know that she got to you.

I thought you're suppose to look happy and unaffected. So smile but pretend like she isn't there, eyes forward walk straight through. Does she get satisfaction if my eyes wander to the side to look at her reaction that I'm noticing her?

I had a semi frown on my face but she was walking past me from the opposite direction so it caught me by surprise and it was at night, she had a smurk on her face but she had her eyes forward pretending she didn't notice me. I assume if my head turns and looks it gives her attention.

This is all NONSENSE. Don't worry about all this. Just continue to speak to her as if nothing ever happened.

If she tries to use you for attention,the forum has a remedy for that,so don't worry. At the moment,just try and reschedule the date.


Her reaction to this will let us know what you should do next.

 

[big weezy]

BINGO DUDE. This is EXACTLY right.

Ideally speaking,if things are going good between you and a girl,"no contact" shouldn't have to be used...EVER.


You still need to avoid spending too much time with her and being too available,but if things are going well,"NO CONTACT" shouldn't have to be introduced into the situation.


WRONG.

First of all,I wouldn't believe it if a girl told me she "forgot" about our date,but let's say that's true,and she indeed did forget...


Well if you made so little of an impact on her that she forgot all about YOU (because YOU and "THE DATE" are one),then why...IN THE WORLD would you go no contact then?



"No Contact" is you removing yourself from her life. Well she thinks about you so seldom that she actually forgot you two had a date,how does No contact/removing yourself from her life supposed to make her want to see you? That's dumb.


If she can't even remember she has a date scheduled with you,you think staying away from her is supposed to help?



In this situation,you NEED to call her,speak to her,you need to interject yourself into her mind.

NO.

Talk to her. See how she's doing/what she's been up to. Tell her how you've been. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT she "forgot" she had a date planned with you,but if she did forget,then I'd just talk to her and reschedule


Don't ignore her. Even if what she said was a lie,don't ignore her. All ignoring her does is let her know that she got to you.



This is all NONSENSE. Don't worry about all this. Just continue to speak to her as if nothing ever happened.

If she tries to use you for attention,the forum has a remedy for that,so don't worry. At the moment,just try and reschedule the date.


Her reaction to this will let us know what you should do next.

You said I need to call her, but what do I say to her, do I ask her what happened? The thing is I saw her 1/2 an hour after we were suppose to meet, she looked clearly stressed and tired and gave me some BS lines about how she didn't remember that I texted her etc. She's sucha bad liar.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/thetest.htm

Would this link above explain her 'forgetting'?

Me getting angry and walking off I guess won't help.

Maybe you can also help advise me on my other 'oneitis' thread

 

[Igetit!]

You said I need to call her, but what do I say to her,

What do you mean what do you say? What do you want from her?

You want to take her out on a date,right?

Uhh...well? Then you talk to her about you two going out on a date. Is this really that hard to figure out?

do I ask her what happened?

NO.

Why would you want to ask her what happened,you said she told you she forgot,right? Well,that's what happened,she forgot. (Although I don't believe that).


You're too hung up on something that really doesn't matter.


Instead of focusing of her supposed reason for not showing up for the date,your foucs should be on WHY she gave you that excuse.


And more than likely,it's because her interest is low.



So stop worrying about her "forgetting" the date you had planned and put your energy into making her interested in you again.


Call her on the phone and tease her a little bit. Ask her what she's up to,then be like,"So what's the deal with you,you have Alzheimer's or something? I get the date all set up and you just completely forget,huh? You really know how to make a guy feel special."


She'll probably apologize again. If so,then great,ask her out again,BUT BEFORE YOU DO...you need to stir up her emotions first.


You need to somewhat shock her a bit,get a bit of attraction going.


You may not be used to speaking the way I'm going to suggest,but I guanatee you after you say this,you won't have to worry about her "forgetting" about you again.


After you call her and tease her for a bit,then say something like this...


"Well look,I haven't changed my mind,I still want to see you,but do me a favor,though. When I take you out,make sure you wear a low cut shirt".



If she asks why,then you say,"What do you mean why? So I can look down it,what do you think?".



Now,you need to understand WHY I suggested for you to speak to her like that. Her interest is low. She doesn't "feel" anything with you.


You want her to feel chemistry,sexual chemistry,but she can't feel that if you never get sexual with her.



I said "SEXUAL",not VULGAR,PROFANE,OR OBSCENE.


Say some thing like. I bet you she won't "forget" about you again.



Now,let's say you do all this,she agrees to another date with you,but then she pulls the flaking nonsense again. In that case,you should go no contact,but what I'd do is going no contact WHILE PURSUING OTHER GIRLS at the same time.


I don't think she'd flake on you again,but hey,you know how women are.

 

[big weezy]

I like that line about the low cut shirt. But wouldn't she consider it to be vulgar? Also in reference to me making a call what if I met up withher 1/2 an hour after we were suppose to meet and she forgot? What do I say then?

What do you mean what do you say? What do you want from her?

You want to take her out on a date,right?

Uhh...well? Then you talk to her about you two going out on a date. Is this really that hard to figure out?




NO.

Why would you want to ask her what happened,you said she told you she forgot,right? Well,that's what happened,she forgot. (Although I don't believe that).



You're too hung up on something that really doesn't matter.


Instead of focusing of her supposed reason for not showing up for the date,your foucs should be on WHY she gave you that excuse.


And more than likely,it's because her interest is low.



So stop worrying about her "forgetting" the date you had planned and put your energy into making her interested in you again.


Call her on the phone and tease her a little bit. Ask her what she's up to,then be like,"So what's the deal with you,you have Alzheimer's or something? I get the date all set up and you just completely forget,huh? You really know how to make a guy feel special."


She'll probably apologize again. If so,then great,ask her out again,BUT BEFORE YOU DO...you need to stir up her emotions first.


You need to somewhat shock her a bit,get a bit of attraction going.


You may not be used to speaking the way I'm going to suggest,but I guanatee you after you say this,you won't have to worry about her "forgetting" about you again.




After you call her and tease her for a bit,then say something like this...



"Well look,I haven't changed my mind,I still want to see you,but do me a favor,though. When I take you out,make sure you wear a low cut shirt".



If she asks why,then you say,"What do you mean why? So I can look down it,what do you think?".



Now,you need to understand WHY I suggested for you to speak to her like that. Her interest is low. She doesn't "feel" anything with you.


You want her to feel chemistry,sexual chemistry,but she can't feel that if you never get sexual with her.



I said "SEXUAL",not VULGAR,PROFANE,OR OBSCENE.


Say some thing like. I bet you she won't "forget" about you again.



Now,let's say you do all this,she agrees to another date with you,but then she pulls the flaking nonsense again. In that case,you should go no contact,but what I'd do is going no contact WHILE PURSUING OTHER GIRLS at the same time.


I don't think she'd flake on you again,but hey,you know how women are.

 

[Igetit!]

I like that line about the low cut shirt. But wouldn't she consider it to be vulgar?

I don't think she would.

Yeah,it would be sort of a shock for her,but at this point she needs to be shocked if she forgot all about you when you two had a date scheduled.



DON'T WORRY about her being offended.


You want this girl to be atrracted to you sexually,right?
You want her to be interested in you SEXUALLY.


Well how can she do that if you NEVER say or do anything sexual towards her?



You may be afraid of offending her,but if you let it,that fear will push you into being Asexual. And being Asexual if no better than offending her.


Being offensive and being asexaul BOTH lead to the SAME PLACE,which is the girl NOT BEING INTERESTED in you.



As far as sexual attraction goes,being a nice,friendly fun guy who never says or does anything romantic/sexual with a girl is NO DIFFERENT from a guy who's crude and vulgar,who turns a girl off.



You've got to be the MAN and lead/initaite. She won't do it because she doesn't want to be perceived as a slvt. But if you do it,then she'll feel ok about opening up and revealing that side to you because she won't feel judged.

Also in reference to me making a call what if I met up withher 1/2 an hour after we were suppose to meet and she forgot? What do I say then?

Why do you keep bringing this up? This is the PAST.

It happened,it was awkward,but it's done.


I don't understand why you don't want to learn how to go about improving things NOW,instead of mulling over what "you should have said" a week ago.

 

[big weezy]

I don't think she would.

Yeah,it would be sort of a shock for her,but at this point she needs to be shocked if she forgot all about you when you two had a date scheduled.



DON'T WORRY about her being offended.


You want this girl to be atrracted to you sexually,right?
You want her to be interested in you SEXUALLY.


Well how can she do that if you NEVER say or do anything sexual towards her?



You may be afraid of offending her,but if you let it,that fear will push you into being Asexual. And being Asexual if no better than offending her.


Being offensive and being asexaul BOTH lead to the SAME PLACE,which is the girl NOT BEING INTERESTED in you.



As far as sexual attraction goes,being a nice,friendly fun guy who never says or does anything romantic/sexual with a girl is NO DIFFERENT from a guy who's crude and vulgar,who turns a girl off.



You've got to be the MAN and lead/initaite. She won't do it because she doesn't want to be perceived as a slvt. But if you do it,then she'll feel ok about opening up and revealing that side to you because she won't feel judged.




Why do you keep bringing this up? This is the PAST.

It happened,it was awkward,but it's done.


I don't understand why you don't want to learn how to go about improving things NOW,instead of mulling over what "you should have said" a week ago.

Point taken. I understand.

However if the girl's interest has gone to the level where she's told me to leave her alone and is still angry with me is it not worth saying farewell to her because I'm leaving this week and want to say goodbye?

So many of the things she said to me last time were so taken out of context that I feel the need to correct them because I don't want to be perceived in the way she thinks I am. I was going to write her a farewell letter explaining what I truly felt when I did this and that etc. There's no point talking to her she'll just yell at me, but at least if it's in writing she'll read it and maybe soak it in.

When I give her the letter I'll obviously try to kiss her forehead before I leave should I bother trying to do a big manly gesture like going for her lips after as a good bye kiss then walk away or would that p1ss her off even more?