When negative thinking takes over ...

[JohnChops]

When it does how do you bring your mind back to a positive state? Recently I found out I cant take a summer vacation because I have to take two biochem courses over the summer. I'm feeling like **** now . Any thoughts ?

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Obviously when this kind of thinking is ingrained, you need to try to actively challenge it every time, which is easier said than done.

I'm currently listening to a Silva method audiobook and their take on this is interesting & perhaps useful for some. They suggest that when you find yourself thinking or hearing a negative statement about yourself, say to yourself (either aloud or in your head) "Cancel, cancel" and immediately replace it with a positive one.

God knows if it works, am currently pioneering it now. But could be worth a shot!

 

[Mike32ct]

When it does how do you bring your mind back to a positive state? Recently I found out I cant take a summer vacation because I have to take two biochem courses over the summer. I'm feeling like **** now . Any thoughts ?

Turn this into a positive.

For example, book a winter trip to a warm place after fall finals are over.

Positives:

More time to save up the money.

Something to look forward to.

More time to work out and get ripped before your trip.

So what I'm saying is don't lie to yourself and TELL yourself it's a positive. Literally MAKE it a positive.

 

[bigneil]

Never express negative thoughts to a woman, especially your fears about her cheating. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Revealing your insecurity can snap her out of her illusion that you are immortal.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I read the human mind has evolved to constantly be in the negative aka a very cautious mind. If we were prancing through the safari fantasizing about deaks in our ancient days we would not have survived very long. Eventually being sabretooth food. So you have to train your mind to be positive. Negative thoughts must be turned into positive thoughts. What makes you the most advanced form of life on this planet is your superior mentality (no claws, no fangs or armor right?). Don't forsake that dude and allow yourself to be dominated by habit or instinct you're more than that.

 

[JohnChops]

Thanks for the replys. I actually did start thinking positively. For example my last biochem class lets out Aug. 9th so I made my trip after that. And it will be a great reward after two intense summer classes. Also ill be ahead. It is funny how our mind always goes to the negative thought... maybe its because its the easy way out?

 

[Atom Smasher]

"Ask a better question" is my method.

When I'm feeling angry or frustrated about something, I try to determine what must I be asking myself in order to feel this way?

Some examples:
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why do I always screw this or that up?
Why am I so umlucky?

Replace those with better questions:
How can I leverage what happened to me to my advantage?
What little steps can I start today to gat a handle on that thing I tend to screw up?
What can I do to increase my luck? Am I really a victim of luck or can I create luck?

These are only sample questions. I find it can be applied to almost anything. Ask a better question.

 

[MrJibbles]

Hey man, I feel you on this one. A psychologist diagnosed me with negativistic (passive-aggressive) personality traits. This means that I tend to have a very negative attitude about everything in life. I am trying to reverse these thought patterns as much as possible. Like JohnnyStorm said, condition yourself into recognizing when you automatically go into "negative mode" and catch yourself before it spirals further. Then reverse these negative thoughts with conscious questions, like Atom Smasher mentioned, and reframe your situation.

Keep doing this until it becomes so automatic that it is a habit like brushing your teeth every night before bed. Like Pook mentioned, "As a man thinketh, he becometh." Learn to have self-compassion for yourself, and not beat yourself up. As motivational speaker Eric Thomas said, "Avoid being your own worst enemy."

I find that writing down your negative thoughts at the end of the day, keeping a journal of sorts, can really help with this. After a week or so, read your past logs and pinpoint the moments which "spark" your instances of negativity (i.e. stress from work, rejections from girls, etc) to a gain a better understanding of yourself. Remember, "know thyself."

I watched an interesting TED talk by psychologist Philip Zimbardo, in which he talks about the way we as humans perceive time (http://www.ted.com/talks/philip_zimbardo_prescribes_a_healthy_take_on_time.html), and how this effects virtually every aspect of our lives. Here, he advises us to be high in past-positive, moderate in present-hedonistic, and moderately high in future-positive. I believe changing one's time perspective can neutralize negative cognitive distortions and mold our behaviour in a positive way.Watch the short clip for a more detailed understanding.

 

[BatJuan]

Over the last two years or so I was able to really cleanse myself of negative thinking by simply recognizing it's all relative. Quick story:

When I was younger, my mother's standards for how things should be done were always higher than mine. If she asked me to cut the grass, I'd cut the grass, but I wouldn't sweep the pavements of the freshly cut grass clippings, or whatever. My mom would always tell me to go back out and finish the job, and being a lazy teenager, I'd complain about how I was too tired. To prove a point, she'd go out and sweep everything in 30 seconds, and come back with a "Was that so hard?"

For a while it never really clicked with me, but I slowly started to realize that anytime I had to exert myself beyond what I had been anticipating, I'd always complain. In reality, what was being asked of me was often a thirty second task, and I just had some stupid mental block that led to my poor attitude. Now I'll go above and beyond what's expected of me, and I tend to be a lot happier after the fact.

It's through this sort of thinking that I was able to purge myself of bad thoughts. What happens is going to happen for whatever reason, and it's a lot easier to just deal with whatever has to be dealt with than to complain or worry about it. For me, that realization alone was enough to set me straight.

In your case, just recognize that you must take the classes, and complaining about it won't actually solve your problems. You're expending more effort by thinking negatively than simply going through the motions and going on vacation some other time.

 

[JohnChops]

Over the last two years or so I was able to really cleanse myself of negative thinking by simply recognizing it's all relative. Quick story:

When I was younger, my mother's standards for how things should be done were always higher than mine. If she asked me to cut the grass, I'd cut the grass, but I wouldn't sweep the pavements of the freshly cut grass clippings, or whatever. My mom would always tell me to go back out and finish the job, and being a lazy teenager, I'd complain about how I was too tired. To prove a point, she'd go out and sweep everything in 30 seconds, and come back with a "Was that so hard?"

For a while it never really clicked with me, but I slowly started to realize that anytime I had to exert myself beyond what I had been anticipating, I'd always complain. In reality, what was being asked of me was often a thirty second task, and I just had some stupid mental block that led to my poor attitude. Now I'll go above and beyond what's expected of me, and I tend to be a lot happier after the fact.

It's through this sort of thinking that I was able to purge myself of bad thoughts. What happens is going to happen for whatever reason, and it's a lot easier to just deal with whatever has to be dealt with than to complain or worry about it. For me, that realization alone was enough to set me straight.

In your case, just recognize that you must take the classes, and complaining about it won't actually solve your problems. You're expending more effort by thinking negatively than simply going through the motions and going on vacation some other time.

Dude I feel like everyone around me is doing better than. But in reality im so well off (in school, with friends, women, work) but for some reason i keep seeing the negative things around me. And yah going above and beyond feels really good, you feel acomplished I like it. Ive been doing that too, anyway thanks for the pot man really appreciate it.