Folks, I thought I'd share this with you guys because it made me uncomfortable. I wasn't sure what to make of the experience, but I thought I made the decision that was most appropriate for me. While I am a naturally friendly and social person and appreciate the same from strangers, there are certain behaviors that make me uncomfortable, especially when coming from guys. Yesterday at the gym, I accidentally locked my wallet and key holder inside my closet in the Men's Locker Room. As a result, I couldn't open up my lock and needed help breaking it at the end of my workout. So I go to one of the fitness associates, and they direct me to this guy. Initially, I was thinking about breaking my lock before the end of my workout, but I changed my mind and he himself said it was a right decision to hold off until my workout was done. But when he first followed me to the locker room so I could show him my closet, and I explained to him what happened, he proceeded at some point to ask me what my name was and to tell me his, which was fine.
Then when my workout was over and I asked him for his help to break the lock as he suggested, I asked him, after he did it, if the gym sold locks. He said yes, that they only cost three dollars. Jokingly, and although this was true, I told him that I didn't even have any money on me right now to pay for it and that I'll wait until I come back next week to get a new one. Then he proposed that I should see him on my way out to "get some money from him to pay for the lock." At first, I appreciated his kindness and thanked him. But then, when he left, I thought carefully about it and I decided I wasn't going to take any money from him. While I do appreciate kind gestures from strangers, I wondered why he would offer to take three dollars of his money for me specifically to buy a lock. I didn't want him to feel that I should owe him something in return or feel pressure to get closer to him or become overly friendly toward him for his gesture. Most important, I felt uncomfortable because I wasn't exactly sure if there may have been a sinister motive behind this kind gesture, and if he was hoping to get something more from me...whatever that may be. That thought bothered me a whole lot and made me very uncomfortable.
So on my way out of the gym, I waved at him while he was on the phone and said, t"Thanks so much for offering, man, but it's all right. Don't worry about it at all. I wil have money to pay for the lock myself next week." He insisted and reemphasized that he had money and was willing to use his cash to help me get a new lock. Once again, I refused politely and thanked him...then I left the gym.
Then when my workout was over and I asked him for his help to break the lock as he suggested, I asked him, after he did it, if the gym sold locks. He said yes, that they only cost three dollars. Jokingly, and although this was true, I told him that I didn't even have any money on me right now to pay for it and that I'll wait until I come back next week to get a new one. Then he proposed that I should see him on my way out to "get some money from him to pay for the lock." At first, I appreciated his kindness and thanked him. But then, when he left, I thought carefully about it and I decided I wasn't going to take any money from him. While I do appreciate kind gestures from strangers, I wondered why he would offer to take three dollars of his money for me specifically to buy a lock. I didn't want him to feel that I should owe him something in return or feel pressure to get closer to him or become overly friendly toward him for his gesture. Most important, I felt uncomfortable because I wasn't exactly sure if there may have been a sinister motive behind this kind gesture, and if he was hoping to get something more from me...whatever that may be. That thought bothered me a whole lot and made me very uncomfortable.
So on my way out of the gym, I waved at him while he was on the phone and said, t"Thanks so much for offering, man, but it's all right. Don't worry about it at all. I wil have money to pay for the lock myself next week." He insisted and reemphasized that he had money and was willing to use his cash to help me get a new lock. Once again, I refused politely and thanked him...then I left the gym.
