when it rains it pours

[Robert28]

i wanted to share my recent failures with several women i've had in the hopes then maybe someone can help me see what i'm doing wrong or if i just have bad luck. i've had success with women, but the past two years have been the worst i've ever experienced for some reason. here are my most recent fails.

1. i went to this St Pattys day thing here in my town with some friends of mine. it was 3 couples, another guy, myself and this girl who one of the girls said she was bringing along to set me up with. long story short, the girl ends up being interested in my friend whos single that was with us and i ended up being the 9th wheel.

2. same day at the st pattys day thing and when i realized that nothing was going to happen with that girl who was brought there to meet me, i set out on my own to get away from all of the people i came with cause frankly it pissed me off the way everything happend. anyways i'm at this bar standing there and this girl gets my attention and motions me to come sit by her. she was very attractive and i could tell from the moment i sat down that she was interested in me. 10 min later her drunk friend comes out of nowhere and grabs her hand and tells her hey we're leaving lets go. she was gone before i had a chance to ask for her number or anything, and i could tell she really didnt want to leave. f*cked up isnt it?

3. a girl who i only wanted to be friends with, but is very attractive and has a boyfriend pretty much blew up my phone yesterday texting me about how we should hangout soon and how she hated she didnt get to see me at the st pattys day thing. i figured sure why not, whats wrong with going to have a beer with a girl you only want to be friends with right? im not the type of guy to go stealing someone elses girlfriend because i believe in such a thing as karma. anyways today i get a text message saying "look i was way out of line yesterday. i'm sorry if i lead you on but i am very happy with my boyfriend and dont want to mess anything up. sorry." i got rejected and didnt even intend to date the girl! i just thought it would be cool to be friends. i didnt reply back because i didnt know what to say. she did a 180 on me in less then 24 hours. whats that all about?

4. i met this girl at a bar who was a mutual friends of some friends of mine. we danced, had alot of fun and exchanged numbers. we went out twice and she texted me all the time, showed signs of interest BUT i never got to kiss her. she invited me to a party a couple weeks ago and i rode with other people and got there about 2 hours before she did. she was riding with a friend of hers, and i didnt want to wait on 2 girls to get ready, so thats why i didnt ride with them. anyways when she got to the party she completely ignored me all night. her friends were dumbfounded as to why she acted like that. i didnt bother texting her or contacting her at all(her friends told me not to either). i figured she could contact me if she wanted to explain why she ignored me, and i didnt want to act like an AFC asking her why she ignored me. guess what? havent heard a word from her since.

 

[SchoolBoy]

Don't worry man, on average, a guy will fail with 25 women before getting layed by 1.

It's a numbers game.

 

[Robert28]

yeah i guess. i've just never had such sh!tty luck happen back to back to back to back until the past couple of years it seems. i'm going on less dates then i used to, and my confidence hasnt lacked so bad as it is lately. a good example is a QB throwing an interception. yeah it sucks, but you put it out of your mind and keep playing, only to throw another one and another one, and another one. then you start to question your confidence and start thinking "how did i get this sh!tty all of a sudden? how do i correct it? its not like im intentionally TRYING to throw interceptions, it just keeps happening." then eventually you start thinking "man f*ck this, i dont even want to play anymore". its like yesterday, i had this beautiful girl fall right in my lap. she came at the perfect time after i lost the girl i was supposed to be hooking up with to my friend, which put me in a bad mood. meeting this other girl couldnt have come at a better time, then she was taken away in 10 mins. its like dangling a steak in front of a starving hostage.haha ive never had girls flake on me in the past like is happening lately either. if i knew what i was doing wrong i would fix it but thats just it, i dont! i know youre supposed to keep trying but damn your confidence takes a hit after so long. somethings gotta go right eventually, right? it just makes me not even want to put in the effort to meet any girls in fear of what bad thing is going to happen to screw it up, or is she going to flake after 3 dates, or is she going to meet my friend and all of a sudden start liking him. this stuff seriously gets in your head and messes with your mind!

 

[SchoolBoy]

yeah i guess. i've just never had such sh!tty luck happen back to back to back to back until the past couple of years it seems. i'm going on less dates then i used to, and my confidence hasnt lacked so bad as it is lately. a good example is a QB throwing an interception. yeah it sucks, but you put it out of your mind and keep playing, only to throw another one and another one, and another one. then you start to question your confidence and start thinking "how did i get this sh!tty all of a sudden? how do i correct it? its not like im intentionally TRYING to throw interceptions, it just keeps happening." then eventually you start thinking "man f*ck this, i dont even want to play anymore". its like yesterday, i had this beautiful girl fall right in my lap. she came at the perfect time after i lost the girl i was supposed to be hooking up with to my friend, which put me in a bad mood. meeting this other girl couldnt have come at a better time, then she was taken away in 10 mins. its like dangling a steak in front of a starving hostage.haha ive never had girls flake on me in the past like is happening lately either. if i knew what i was doing wrong i would fix it but thats just it, i dont! i know youre supposed to keep trying but damn your confidence takes a hit after so long. somethings gotta go right eventually, right? it just makes me not even want to put in the effort to meet any girls in fear of what bad thing is going to happen to screw it up, or is she going to flake after 3 dates, or is she going to meet my friend and all of a sudden start liking him. this stuff seriously gets in your head and messes with your mind!

I completely understand what you mean.

Getting rejected or screwed over enough times will eventually take a jab at your self confidence.

That's one of the great things about life, we learn from our experiences.

The different between you and failure, is whether you see these so called "failures" as actual failures, or a learning process.

For example, you said that the girl you were interested in was pulled away by her friend before you were able to get her number.

Then now you know for next time that you should do the number close more quickly to avoid something similar from happening.

This my friend is called experience, it's something that can't be taught to you on sosuave.

You aren't a failure until you fail to get back up after being knocked down. A true champ will get back on his feet and learn from his mistakes.

By looking back at your past experiences and learning from them, instead of dwelling on them, you are able to refine your technique or "game".

Mistakes and past failures is what separates a seasoned DJ from a brand new baby PUA.

Now understand this: "You can't control what others do, you can't only control your own actions."

Women flake, and women tease. Women randomly cut contact. It happens to all of us.

It's how you react to their actions which will eventually determine your success.

-SchoolBoy​

 

[Joe Stud]

text the girl w/ the bf: "honey you are cute, but what gave you the inpression I was after you to be more than friends?" LJBF her! Then go semi nc to act dissinterested

 

[kingsam]

2. same day at the st pattys day thing and when i realized that nothing was going to happen with that girl who was brought there to meet me, i set out on my own to get away from all of the people i came with cause frankly it pissed me off the way everything happend. anyways i'm at this bar standing there and this girl gets my attention and motions me to come sit by her. she was very attractive and i could tell from the moment i sat down that she was interested in me. 10 min later her drunk friend comes out of nowhere and grabs her hand and tells her hey we're leaving lets go. she was gone before i had a chance to ask for her number or anything, and i could tell she really didnt want to leave. f*cked up isnt it?
.

life lesson no#. "expect the unexpected" , it was porbably the beer slowing your thought process down just enough to let you be caught off-guard , but next time be more assertive and dont let her before you get her number(at least ask)!

3. a girl who i only wanted to be friends with, but is very attractive and has a boyfriend pretty much blew up my phone yesterday texting me about how we should hangout soon and how she hated she didnt get to see me at the st pattys day thing. i figured sure why not, whats wrong with going to have a beer with a girl you only want to be friends with right? im not the type of guy to go stealing someone elses girlfriend because i believe in such a thing as karma. anyways today i get a text message saying "look i was way out of line yesterday. i'm sorry if i lead you on but i am very happy with my boyfriend and dont want to mess anything up. sorry." i got rejected and didnt even intend to date the girl! i just thought it would be cool to be friends. i didnt reply back because i didnt know what to say. she did a 180 on me in less then 24 hours. whats that all about?
.

why not reply... "thats good , im not interested in you like that" , or "you not my type", "my hareem's big enougth already?"... of course keep the subtle atraction/challenge/game going if you go for a drink...??

 

[Robert28]

how do i ask for her number so quickly without coming off as pushy or like i'm out collecting numbers or something? i would have asked her for it as she was leaving but her drunk friend was pulling on her like a freight train. the girl was showing some resistance from leaving though at least.

i'm not even going to worry about that other girl with the boyfriend. i was only intending to be friends, if thats not how she saw it then oh well. if she cant have any guy friends because shes worried about her b/f getting mad then maybe she needs to find a new man. not everyone wants to f*ck your g/f. i was just thinking "hmmm, hot girl, would make an awesome friend for social status proof. maybe she has some hot friends"

 

[Strat]

how do i ask for her number so quickly without coming off as pushy or like i'm out collecting numbers or something?"

Who cares?
You are coming off as needy. You are seeming desperate. You want it way too bad and women can smell it.

You cannot be attached to the outcome. You are giving of a vibe that you want something from them and as long as you do that, you'll be denied.

That's why you're getting these 180's from them, they get a taste of the "needy guy" vibe and.... poof.