When is moving fast a red flag?

[Rapport101]

I went on date number three with this girl last night. She stayed the night at my place. We seemingly have lots in common. But she is already talking about the future, relationship, calling me babe. Is this a red flag? or good sign?

 

[sosousage]

I went on date number three with this girl last night. She stayed the night at my place. We seemingly have lots in common. But she is already talking about the future, relationship, calling me babe. Is this a red flag? or good sign?

Book example of BPD chick - run for ur life

 

[Reykhel]

She stayed the night at my place.

Your fault.

You don't want to slip into relationship mode (or give her the impression that you are): She can't sleep over.

It was your third date? in how much time? You don't wan't to slip into relationship mode: See her max once per week.

Women are a mirror..........sometimes it's best to ask "is there something that I am doing that's making her talk relationship mode?"

I'll add......how much are you texting between dates? are you texting as if you were already boyfriend / girlfriend

 

[soulforge]

How old is she? What does she know about you in JUST 3 dates.. NOTHING

Would a normal chick want a commitment/relationship with a guy she hardly knows?

She probably knows the post delivery man, better than you.

 

[Billtx49]

Third date bang is obviously in normal range, but considering that relationship and then later future talk usually start happening at about three months in, yes it’s a flag.

 

[Trump]

I went on date number three with this girl last night. She stayed the night at my place. We seemingly have lots in common. But she is already talking about the future, relationship, calling me babe. Is this a red flag? or good sign?

Having you agree to have her stay at your place after 3 dates and having sex with her is OK.

Her talking about some sort of future with you is too much?

 

[greatsnake]

is moving in at the third month a red flag?

 

[soulforge]

is moving in at the third month a red flag?

I wouldn't recommend moving in with anyone after just 3 months

 

[RedScorpion]

Unhealthy/Fake IL = flattery, emotionally escalating and pushing relationship status quickly

This very much so. Have met a couple girls over the years that were ‘in your face, you are the best guy ever’ kind of pushiness. All sorts of erratic about it as well (you are the best, then you don’t exist). They have an agenda, and it has nothing to do with you as an actual person.

Not sure if this is what’s going on at all with OP - her talking about a relationship is a bit forward, but possibly fine. Just be prepared to be sucked into a relationship status with her much sooner than later. Which could be fine. But I’d say have a bit of caution, depending on her other actions/behaviours.

 

[soulforge]

This very much so. Have met a couple girls over the years that were ‘in your face, you are the best guy ever’ kind of pushiness. All sorts of erratic about it as well (you are the best, then you don’t exist). They have an agenda, and it has nothing to do with you as an actual person.

Not sure if this is what’s going on at all with OP - her talking about a relationship is a bit forward, but possibly fine. Just be prepared to be sucked into a relationship status with her much sooner than later. Which could be fine. But I’d say have a bit of caution, depending on her other actions/behaviours.

Nah Bruv... 3 DATES is NOTHING

There should be absolutely NO talk about a relationship at this point.

Again how old is this chick? It could just be, she is very young, and in experienced.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Nothing good has ever ended up happening for me with women who get that attached that quickly. If you don't next her, your other option is to tell her you aren't interested in a relationship so quickly and want to see how it goes, then focus on just enjoying her company and being in the moment for however long it ends up lasting.

 

[IKO69]

It never is....unless it is one of those deals where you've been friends for a while and then dated. If you are complete strangers you can't possibly know each other after 3 dates, don't care how deep the dates were.

 

[Rapport101]

Your fault.

You don't want to slip into relationship mode (or give her the impression that you are): She can't sleep over.

It was your third date? in how much time? You don't wan't to slip into relationship mode: See her max once per week.

Women are a mirror..........sometimes it's best to ask "is there something that I am doing that's making her talk relationship mode?"

I'll add......how much are you texting between dates? are you texting as if you were already boyfriend / girlfriend

I don’t text much. She tries to text me all the time. I just set solid date. I just validate whatever she’s talking about and say I look forward to seeing her on whenever date is scheduled. But she seems to want to hang out all the time. I was under the impression that this process was supposed to take a month or two. But this chick seems like she’s trying to lock me down after a week. Lol

 

[greatsnake]

I wouldn't recommend moving in with anyone after just 3 months

I agree

 

[Reykhel]

I don’t text much. She tries to text me all the time. I just set solid date. I just validate whatever she’s talking about and say I look forward to seeing her on whenever date is scheduled. But she seems to want to hang out all the time. I was under the impression that this process was supposed to take a month or two. But this chick seems like she’s trying to lock me down after a week. Lol

It's up to you to control this.........

If you want to remain in lover mode and not give her the impression that you are heading into relationship mode, you need a certain set of
rules and you must have the self discipline to maintain those rules regardless....

Number 1 is not letting her sleep over...(not, I don't mean not fvcking her as some idiot above understood that as). Get her over, fvck and send her on her way in a taxi or whatever. She'll make excuses, she'll tell you it's late, she'll tell you her job is nearby.......STICK TO YOUR GUNS AND DON'T LET HER SLEEP OVER.

A lot of men will shoot themselves in the foot with this because they themselves will give in to this because despite the fact that they probably won't admit it here, the longing part of them wants to CUDDLE and all that cute ****e.

Letting her sleep over the night in your bed.......is intimate and will be seen and experienced that way. She'll maybe think "wow he didn't kick me out after getting what he wanted.....HE MUST REALLY LIKE ME!!"

As for texting.......text only to set up logistics and nothing else. What if she texts? Ignore her, she'll get the point. You're training her.

Note: Anyone who shouts BPD in almost every thread on an internet forum, shows a distinct lack of game. BPD becomes the answer for everything. Probably nerds who got burnt badly and are now bitter or are in fact BPD themselves.

 

[TBG]

is moving in at the third month a red flag?

Ex let her new boyfriend move in after officially dating for a month. Her best friend let a guy move in after one date.

Fair enough both had been talking to their partners for months before them moving in but still wtf. You're still in the honeymoon period and pretty much still strangers.

 

[greatsnake]

Ex let her new boyfriend move in after officially dating for a month. Her best friend let a guy move in after one date.

Fair enough both had been talking to their partners for months before them moving in but still wtf. You're still in the honeymoon period and pretty much still strangers.

yeah, strange things.

 

[Roober]

There is a large number of vast generalizations in here. What i see is you have a woman who feels great with you and is merely expressing what her emotions are telling her... "hey, there may be a future with this guy" do not read into it any more than that.

Human interactions are far too complex and there are way too few of details in the OP to even give proper advice as to the proper course of action. Do what feels right to you.

With that said, keep this is mind...

It is completely okay if she wants to move fast. However, if you go along with it, your going to pay for it.

 

[Murk]

Babe is fine, I enjoy babe and baby. Relationship talk is a nono though. Be honest with yourself here though, have you lead this on, even slightly? We can have a tenancy to over egg things to get the pvssy sometimes.

 

[Tilex]

No
Those are all positive signs. That's high interest level right there.
You're in complete control of the situation.
A girl spending the night at your place is a lot different than you spending the night at her place.
Your place = Your frame
It is up to you to allow her to enter your world.

Is the sex good?
Are your attracted to her physically?
Do you enjoy having conversations with her?

If you answered yes to all above, then congratulations my friend!
That's good chemistry!