When is a girl staring at you an IOI?

[dudewut]

Is it when you look they look down/away? I have girls stare at me and follow me with their eyes. And I don't know wtf to do or where to look, I don't want to be to ****y and assume it's already an IOI, maybe there was something on my face........so when is it an IOI

 

[st_99]

you just have to assume its an ioi. might not be, but there is a better than 50/50 chance it is. especially if you lock eyes for a couple seconds. then the odds go up to about 70/30 ioi.

as far as what to do, lock eyes with them and let them pull away first, maybe throw in a smile to not seem threatening. it seems to create some kind of sexual tension.

 

[Iceberg]

I hate when guys look for IOIs.

I haven't looked for IOIs for years. Just assume interest. You're a fun guy, right? You have lots of cool things to say. Everyone would want to talk to you.

Just assume attraction. I understand that you're just beginning to learn, so your confidence probably isn't at it's highest point, but stop looking for staring/hair touching/leg crossing and all those other weird IOIs.

I typically find out if a girl is interested by starting a conversation. If she gives a favorable response, she's interested. If she gives me something bland, I'll assume she's not. But you're limiting yourself by trying to gauge interest levels from a safe distance.

 

[dudewut]

you just have to assume its an ioi. might not be, but there is a better than 50/50 chance it is. especially if you lock eyes for a couple seconds. then the odds go up to about 70/30 ioi.

as far as what to do, lock eyes with them and let them pull away first, maybe throw in a smile to not seem threatening. it seems to create some kind of sexual tension.

See I know it's for me, because what I do is when I walk past them, I look back and they were still staring....I am sure I was not on fire lol

 

[JdelaSilviera]

IOIs´are bull.... women might look at you for many reasons. About the touching of the hair, is completly ridiculous.... women touch their hair all the time... Like other guy said, don´t look at IOI´s.

And good looking guys are not necessarly stared at, I have models at my gym, and I never see women staring at them...

 

[The_411]

I hate when guys look for IOIs.

I haven't looked for IOIs for years. Just assume interest. You're a fun guy, right? You have lots of cool things to say. Everyone would want to talk to you.

Just assume attraction. I understand that you're just beginning to learn, so your confidence probably isn't at it's highest point, but stop looking for staring/hair touching/leg crossing and all those other weird IOIs.

I typically find out if a girl is interested by starting a conversation. If she gives a favorable response, she's interested. If she gives me something bland, I'll assume she's not. But you're limiting yourself by trying to gauge interest levels from a safe distance.

Bingo Bango Bongo I hate f'ing Roberto Lungo

Just assume when a girl looks at you they're interested. If you start eliminating someone because you're trying to gauge if she's interested in you based on how she looks at you, you're going to miss out on a lot of women. Believe me this has happened to me and everyone else here a lot.

If a girl looks step up and go talk to her. The worst that can happen is she disses you for talking to her, but then you know she not worth your time and she's a miserable ****. Chances are she'll give you her number if you ask for it and if she doesn't then you need to work on your game.

The basic thing is that "failures" tend to be much more helpful than successes even though success feels a lot better.

 

[PDubb75]

Bingo Bango Bongo I hate f'ing Roberto Lungo

I'm sorry... but that just made me burst out laughing. That was so off-topic, but being a huge Blackhawks fan, it was perfect.

Carry on with the original topic now...

 

[dudewut]

Ok I get what you are saying about IOIs, but wouldnt it be nice if you can somehow stop wasting your time and talk to women who you have a chance with? I am kinda playing the devil's advocate here, but come on it does make sense to just talk to those with a x percent chance of success

 

[The_411]

There is the conservation, number obtaining and subsequent process of arranging a date, going on a date and getting to a second and third date.

These are all part of knowing. The thing is a girl wants to be with you until she chooses not to or dies.

Sometimes that choice comes upon looking at you other times it comes when you start talking, displaying beta supplicative behaviors, or she finds a more alpha guy or better provider.

 

[Iceberg]

Ok I get what you are saying about IOIs, but wouldnt it be nice if you can somehow stop wasting your time and talk to women who you have a chance with? I am kinda playing the devil's advocate here, but come on it does make sense to just talk to those with a x percent chance of success

Yeah. But every woman who likes you won't give you IOIs. Sure, SOMETIMES a girl at a bar will stare me down and smile. Most of the time, you just gotta do it by instinct.

If you're relying on the women who are aggressively giving you IOIs, then you're only talking to let's say 20% of the potential women who would be into you.

Of course it makes sense to talk to women who give you IOIs. But a large majority of them won't. IOIs seem to be things like: crossing her legs towards you, playing with her hair, eye contact, etc...But that stuff could mean anything. She's playing with her hair because she's bored. She just gave you eye contact because you looked like her brother....ya know?

It's far easier for me to just start some bullsh*t conversation about a bus being late, or a thunderstorm, or the shirt she's wearing. Then I gauge her reaction to an actual exchange with me. I'll notice if she's laughing at my jokes. If she's maintaining eye contact. If she's responding to my questions with questions of her own.

Judging IOIs from across a room is like judging the temperature of your pool by looking at it. You can't be afraid to tip your toes in.

 

[dudewut]

There is the conservation, number obtaining and subsequent process of arranging a date, going on a date and getting to a second and third date.

These are all part of knowing. The thing is a girl wants to be with you until she chooses not to or dies.

Sometimes that choice comes upon looking at you other times it comes when you start talking, displaying beta supplicative behaviors, or she finds a more alpha guy or better provider.

See you gotta go to 2nd and 3rd dates, that is a waste of resources. Now imagine if she did not display any IOI and you looked at it and judged accordingly, then you would not have to spend time, money and energy just to find out if she likes you. That is just my opinion.

Edit: Iceberg, seriously, you can tell if a girl is playing with her hair if she is bored or if she is interested (there is a difference, I cant describe it)....so I guess staring does not mean much then......they could be staring at what I am wearing lol

 

[Iceberg]

See you gotta go to 2nd and 3rd dates, that is a waste of resources. Now imagine if she did not display any IOI and you looked at it and judged accordingly, then you would not have to spend time, money and energy just to find out if she likes you. That is just my opinion.

Edit: Iceberg, seriously, you can tell if a girl is playing with her hair if she is bored or if she is interested (there is a difference, I cant describe it)....so I guess staring does not mean much then......they could be staring at what I am wearing lol

Yeah but it doesn't mean that she's NOT staring at you either.

That's the problem with this "Wait for IOIs" approach. You're using it as an excuse not to talk to women. If you don't see the IOI, you don't approach. And if you see the IOI, you're looking for reasons to believe that it's not an IOI. Like you're talking about the staring thing.....now that I've thrown a little bit of doubt in your mind, you're like "they might just be staring at my clothes."

IOIs exist. I just dont recommend you taking such a passive approach to women. Because IOIs aren't everything.

 

[ArcBound]

"
IOIs exist. I just dont recommend you taking such a passive approach to women. Because IOIs aren't everything.

The shortest answer that describes everything. Another thing to add is to just trust your gut instinct. If you see a girl staring at you and you suddenly get the feeling she's interested in you, but you don't know why...By all means go over and talk to her. Analyzing her gaze and her hair flips doesn't matter, you're only wasting time doing it. Why waste your time trying to figure out whether a girl liked you or not through extremely subtle "signals", when you can go up to her and confirm it yourself?

 

[dudewut]

I hope you guys know where I am coming from though, I am just looking out for me lol especially my money and time, as we say our time is more important

 

[The_411]

See you gotta go to 2nd and 3rd dates, that is a waste of resources. Now imagine if she did not display any IOI and you looked at it and judged accordingly, then you would not have to spend time, money and energy just to find out if she likes you. That is just my opinion.

Edit: Iceberg, seriously, you can tell if a girl is playing with her hair if she is bored or if she is interested (there is a difference, I cant describe it)....so I guess staring does not mean much then......they could be staring at what I am wearing lol

Whoa whoa easy there. I was describing the process. Goiing on second and third dates is important even if it doesn't bear fruit so to speak because it's important to gain experience with those situations and to learn how to intregrate what a girl is saying versus what she is doing.

I'm certainly not suggesting just taking girls out that you have no interest in for the purpose of taking them out, but I am suggesting that jsut because soemthing doesn't work out it's not a waste. Learning from failure is huge.

Don't give yourself an excuse to disqualify simply based on IOIs because chances are it's not a valid excuse most of the time or you've could have misread a sign.

 

[jafyk]

Good evening gentlemen, sit down pull up your chairs and grab a cold one. All right class is in session...So, what's all this confusion about IOIs? Well, think of the IOI issue this way. A lot of times when products are sold the research has been done as to what the demographic is like (their tastes, values, motivations and other assumptions based on these related factors). The importance of this is to save time and effort while achieving results by getting your target demography to patronize you. The upside with this is that you if you know how to read and interpret the clusters of IOI (keyword here is clusters) you will improve your accuracy. The downside to waiting on IOIs is that it limits one's chances. The thing to keep in mind about IOIs is that there has to be a mixture of them occurring together. So, for example if a girl is maintaining strong eye contact, applying her lips stick, touching herself...gentlemen we have a winner, lol.
By not waiting for IOIs in other to approach a girl you increase the number of girls you approach and also build your resistance to rejection. The downside is that you could be wasting too much time shooting in the dark. If you are meeting all these girls in the same place it could become so obvious if you go from one girl to the next. Most times if I'm not in the mood to approach a girl IOIs from a girl might motivate me. My advice to you is up cold approach and IOIs as they both have their advantages. Alright, gentlemen this class is adjourned.

 

[dudewut]

Whoa whoa easy there. I was describing the process. Goiing on second and third dates is important even if it doesn't bear fruit so to speak because it's important to gain experience with those situations and to learn how to intregrate what a girl is saying versus what she is doing.

I'm certainly not suggesting just taking girls out that you have no interest in for the purpose of taking them out, but I am suggesting that jsut because soemthing doesn't work out it's not a waste. Learning from failure is huge.

Don't give yourself an excuse to disqualify simply based on IOIs because chances are it's not a valid excuse most of the time or you've could have misread a sign.

I just want to filter out the women that will waste my time. Thats all.

Anyway here is how I see it, lets say you approach:

You look for IOI and found it BUT misread - you approach, got rejected, either way you have a 50/50 chance that you did NOT misread

vs.

Not looking for IOIs - you keep approaching, so its like shooting in the dark

I hope I am making my point clear at the pros and cons here. Either way, thank you all.


EDIT: Also, I was under the impression that IOIs are sub-conscious and they cannot really control it, hence it is kinda accurate?