"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

When is a Cold Approach weird? When is it not?

One on One

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
1,172
Reaction score
3
Location
Omnipresent
Just seems weird to flat out ask some random girl "are you single?" or "I wanted to stop you and see if you were interesting." What do you think?

Seems more natural to comment about your mutual environment, but I don't know...jwhite seemed to do alright just asking "are you single?" but his college environment may have misled us on that. So, are direct approaches a worthy tactic?? Might freak some ladies out...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Dukester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
538
Reaction score
0
Age
40
Location
Dayton, Ohio
i said this in another thread earlier today, but i'll say it again.
my 2 cents:
cold approaches are done best when you have EC w/ the chick. for me, i cant do a good cold approach w/o having EC w/ her.

exactly right one-on-one. what are you going to say to some random girl taht hasnt even looked at you. if she is eyeing you, then you can use that to your advantage and throw some C&F into it when you cold approach her.

other than that, IMO cold approaches have a low success rate.

if you see the girl every day or something in class, then a cold approach could work out to be more, but it always depends. even if you are a super DJ, and way on top your game i dont think CA's work too well.
that's all from me-
 

BGMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 14, 2001
Messages
1,286
Reaction score
1
Age
45
Location
Minneapolis, MN
Originally posted by One on One
Just seems weird to flat out ask some random girl "are you single?" or "I wanted to stop you and see if you were interesting." What do you think?

Seems more natural to comment about your mutual environment, but I don't know...jwhite seemed to do alright just asking "are you single?" but his college environment may have misled us on that. So, are direct approaches a worthy tactic?? Might freak some ladies out...
I think it's creepy. It's much cooler to make some funny, off the wall comment to her, and if she responds positively (laughs, etc.) then amp it up, perhaps with a funny story, get her name at some point (she will also ask you yours if she's interested), more funny shyt, then get the # and split.

BGMan
 

christz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 26, 2004
Messages
740
Reaction score
0
well without cold approching you'll never meet new people unless i'm reading this wrong.. or getting the wrong impression

isn't the DJ bootcamp built solely on the CA?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top