When in a LTR, should you begin to show feelings?

[apocalypse later]

My girlfriend just sent me this on Myspace:

I don't mean to sound conceited, but I do enjoy some reinforcement. cough cough. aka.. "i like you"

"i miss you" uh.. stupid **** like that, but if you don't feel that way....

I CAN'T TELL IF YOU LIKE ME AS MUCH AS I LIKE YOU!!

phew, that was easier to say.

We've been together for a few weeks now, and I've avoided stuff about me and my feelings. I tell her I know myself well enough that I don't have to spill it all out to people. But I'm starting to think I'm a little unemotional and I hide too much sometimes.

Should I just tell her I do really like her? I know, not DJish, but this is for a possible LTR with sex.

 

[Remulak]

Don't show your feelings EVER! You're supposed to be a robot remember? Truthfully though it's alright to show emotions just as long as you don't show more than she shows you.

 

[Adrian]

Remember this.... once she thinks she "has you" she will begin to get bored and you surely don't want that. Keep doing what you're doing now and don't be so direct about your feelings even if she asks. Be more subtle about it and show feelings from time to time. Do it every once in a while and it will be special to her. Just keep yourself a mystery to her eyes, be confident, be sure to have her laughing and enjoying her time with you etc. and make sure you get the expirience you need. That will surely go a long way. As un-dj as this might sound you may even want to have an extra girl or two on the side but just make sure (and I mean make sure) that none of them ever find out about it. In this case you can get more expirience and you don't have to come crying in this forum months down the road saying that you went AFC, fell for the girl and you lost her.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Don't show your feelings EVER! You're supposed to be a robot remember? Truthfully though it's alright to show emotions just as long as you don't show more than she shows you.

Exaclty. And wipe that rational thinking out of your mind mister! Go to church, it'l take care of that. You want to be as emotionless and thought free as possible.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Alright, stupid question coming: How do you get into a LTR without showing any feelings? How can you even call it a relationship?

 

[Last Man Standing]

At least she didn't ask you if you "LOVED" her! Two weeks is too early to even think about getting emotional! Of course after a few months you can start complimenting her on the good things she does, like cooking for you and washing your clothes by hand, and massaging your feet.

Just tell her, "I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't like you, that is a given" When she says, "Some girls like to hear it some time" Say, "I'll put it in a digital encoding format and put it on your IPOD so that it will be available to you at will!

Francisco, LTR - this should begin after a few months if she is deserving!

 

[ScrewIt]

your woman is in fantasy mode.
When it comes down to LTR, it depends on both parties. Some jump into the LTR sack within a couple weeks, some do it in a few months...its really up to you and her.

I say keep up what you're doing and show how you feel rather than verbalizing it...never forget women respond better to action than verbal.
The little stuff count, like saying you had a good time or walking on the outside of the curb or when walking, walk between her and some sketchy guy. and keep up the c&f and teasing.

 

[Sargeholic]

The whole "alpha" and disinterest thing is entirely overblown in the community. David D'Angelo and others release a couple DVDs with the idea of being ****y and funny and now everyone thinks they can never show any legitimate interest in a woman. I think miscalibration of this concept costs a lot of guys a lot of women. I know it did for me.

Confidence, being alpha, being a DJ, or what have you is about being comfortable with expressing yourself and your emotions. In other words, you are in your OWN reality, and not manipulating it to get a desired reaction from her. If you legitimately have feelings for her, tell her. If you love her, say it. If you are mad at her, tell her and don't stand for her ****. If you want to leave, leave. If you want other chicks, go do it. You get the point.

 

[ScrewIt]

The whole "alpha" and disinterest thing is entirely overblown in the community. David D'Angelo and others release a couple DVDs with the idea of being ****y and funny and now everyone thinks they can never show any legitimate interest in a woman. I think miscalibration of this concept costs a lot of guys a lot of women. I know it did for me.

that's true, this is why this is the worst place to come for LTR advice.

You can be a sensitive and understanding guy without being an oversensitive afc. Girls are more prone to dig a guy with the whole package and are well rounded.

Anyway call it emottionally unavailable or emotionally distant, but a lot of guys still have trouble expressing themselves because they think it's uncool.