When I'm in my zone, I'm the shyt. When I'm not, my game sucks

[Brighty]

I'm sure other people have had this problem - basically when I'm in my comfort zone (like with my friends or in a few classes where I have a lot of friends), I always say the right things, I always am able to have that "so-what" attitude, and I'm always ready to kick some ass if the need arises, so my game is spot on. Any girl in those classes I can easily game and pull. The problem is that when I'm out of the comfort zone, such as in a class where there's this really hot girl (normally it wouldn't be a problem, but she's surrounded by her *****y entourage and a bunch of jocks that I'm not friends with), where I find myself nervous, saying stupid things, zoning out a lot and being sort of out of it. The worst is when I realize this and try to get back to a comfort-zone, where I over-analyze my body language, words, and actions when I'm conversing with a girl and just come across as awkward. As a result, I'm usually completely the opposite in classes I don't feel comfortable in, and I feel its time to change.

Sometimes I get "out of my comfort-zone" when I'm talking to new girls in the hallway or I get them one on one and even worse, I botch it up sometimes soley because I'm not me when I'm talking to her.

How can I remedy this? I know some of the answers will be "just do it until you don't feel weird anymore", but I've had classes for the past 4 years where I feel intimidated by a select few people - even if they're on the other side of the class- and its affected my "comfort" level and I don't feel any better now than I did four years ago.

Are there any mental exercises I can do, any philosophies or confidence builders I can read, or any of the sort? Has anyone else experienced this problem?

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Are you scared to be yourself around other people your not use to? Do you feel you need to say certin things or act a certin way around other people to get their approval?

Just walk up to em and show them that your equal. If they dont like you for who you are; fvck them.

Your 18 and most people your age want to fit in and be cool. Just act like your with your friends and this is your world.

 

[Darth]

The problem is that when I'm out of the comfort zone, such as in a class where there's this really hot girl (normally it wouldn't be a problem, but she's surrounded by her *****y entourage and a bunch of jocks that I'm not friends with), where I find myself nervous, saying stupid things, zoning out a lot and being sort of out of it. The worst is when I realize this and try to get back to a comfort-zone, where I over-analyze my body language, words, and actions when I'm conversing with a girl and just come across as awkward. As a result, I'm usually completely the opposite in classes I don't feel comfortable in, and I feel its time to change.



Are there any mental exercises I can do, any philosophies or confidence builders I can read, or any of the sort? Has anyone else experienced this problem?

Welcome to the story of my life....

I'm with you man. Nobody really has the answer to this question. But I would love some tips from people that have had this problem and learned to beat it.

 

[Whowhatnow]

Ah...this is like...the entire problem of high school summed up in one thread. "I'm awesome around my friends but suck like no other when around outsiders." XD. Well, I can't really give you a straight up solution, as I'm still tangling with this monstrosity myself and it suuuuuuuuuucks. I can, however, offer a piece of advice that has helped my progression.

Find people that you know, but aren't outrageous friends with. Your sub-friends, I suppose. Hang out with them for a bit. Ten minutes at a time. Twenty if you're feelin' good. Now this is where it gets easy...

...ready?

Sit back and listen. Sit back, relax, listen, and laugh when you're supposed to. No pressure. There's no push for you to be funny or dominate the group 'cause...well...you're already friends! You're just hanging out. If you stay out of your own head, you'll start to vibe with how that particular group functions. Because they're your friends (sort >.>), you'll have a much easier time joining in when you can finally start to get your brain working right. Every avalanche started as a few tumbling snowflakes. [Insert more generic guru sayings]

It should just feel easier and easier to walk up to people ya' know and talk. Now, strangers and sub-friends are still significantly different, but it's a step closer and has really helped me in the past year. I've noticed that I've been saying hi to a lot more pals in the halls, accidentally catching the gaze or smile of a passing girl in the process. :rockon:

...Hmm. That sounded a little more informercial-y than I intended.

 

[horaholic]

The only thing you can do is force or self, or better yet, have a wing to push you, to approach strangers. This is the ONLY thing that works. You overcome your fear evenutally, and you get better and better at the interactions. Grab your balls, and make yourself approach.

Read Jon024's journal. It is VERY inspiring.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134914 Note the difference between Page 1, and page 4.

Tell me that doesnt want to make you face your fears!

 

[Brighty]

The only thing you can do is force or self, or better yet, have a wing to push you, to approach strangers. This is the ONLY thing that works. You overcome your fear evenutally, and you get better and better at the interactions. Grab your balls, and make yourself approach.

Read Jon024's journal. It is VERY inspiring.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134914 Note the difference between Page 1, and page 4.

Tell me that doesnt want to make you face your fears!

Holy ****. I just spent two hours reading his journal, ended up getting to around page 9. That is ****ing insane and has reinvigorated me with the drive and determination to succeed in body, health, and mind (and, consequentially, women). I was a little disappointed that he stopped posting a lot of his failures after a few pages into it, but I've taken a lot from his journal - it's helped me build my mindset, learn how a PUA acts and what he says, learn that its not so taboo to put your arm around a girl you just met, learn some good clever and witty responses, and I really liked the bit about him in college and him talking about the "natural" that was an AFC outside of his circle.

****ing fantastic read... I want to meet this guy.

 

[Brighty]

Holy ****. I just spent two hours reading his journal, ended up getting to around page 9. That is ****ing insane and has reinvigorated me with the drive and determination to succeed in body, health, and mind (and, consequentially, women). I was a little disappointed that he stopped posting a lot of his failures after a few pages into it, but I've taken a lot from his journal - it's helped me build my mindset, learn how a PUA acts and what he says, learn that its not so taboo to put your arm around a girl you just met, learn some good clever and witty responses, and I really liked the bit about him in college and him talking about the "natural" that was an AFC outside of his circle.

****ing fantastic read... I want to meet this guy.

On that note I just got back from tonight and I found myself instinctively doing some of the things I read about from jon024 and holy **** did they get me ****ing results. God ****ing damn. That piece of literature has affected me the most out of anything I've ever read on Sosuave.net , I'm still in awe. My god. I love this dude.

 

[DJVladdy]

You take amphetamine. Chase it with some beer. and you in the zone