When/How to Leave? Calling Myself Out

[h2o]

I feel like I’ve become obsessed with reading self-improvement articles, especially reading/posting here.

Having been here for approximately a year now, I can say I’m confident and am comfortable in my interactions with women. I actually don’t need to keep reading…but it seems like some posts keep me hooked. This one for example.

Also, after some recent successes, I feel a surge in my desire to post and reply to other people’s basic questions, given I have experience with what they are asking. Did you guys experience a similar post surge after you just began to “get it”?

I’d actually like to slowly pull myself off this site and draw away from self-improvement material in general. True, you can always keep learning, etc, but I already know the core principles here…I'm not saying I know everything, but just that I know what you need to do to attract women, and if I want to up my success I'd only need to implement certain changes...

For one, since I can get Hb6-7s…as long as she’s got a cute face and cute butt, I’m good…I don’t feel any need to work on my body. I mean, before, when I was insecure, and had confidence issues, I’d workout to the extent of achieving around 4-5% body fat…girls would hit on me like crazy, but I didn’t know wtf to do…I was a p*ssy. Since then, you can't even see my 6 pack (heck I had a killer 8 pack) anymore and I've just become more and more out of shape as I've become more confident in myself.

Right now I’m a bit short on cash and want to wait for some bigger gains on my stocks, and sell later on…then use that cash to buy a bunch of whey powder and carb gainers, because I have an overactive metabolism. Around Oct04-Dec04, I did gain a bunch of weight (1/3 of which was muscle), but I’ve been cool about losing most of it, it doesn’t bother me…but it should.

Anyway that’s my rant; it’s like I’ve lost all motivation. Like, what’s the point of doing more when I’m satisfied right now? I'm also becoming satisfied with B average grades in school, when at one point I was getting scholarships and close to a 4.0 GPA. I'm only going through college to not be the only one in my entire family tree to have dropped out ...and so I can get a decent job to provide me with some investment money. Honestly, I'd rather drop out and become a real estate agent right now.

And I’ll admit it, I seriously read this site for like 2-3hrs a day sometimes…some of the posts are really entertaining …but I need to pull away.

Any tips? (I'd prefer replies from you guys who have been here for at least a couple of months...thanks)

 

[Arioch]

I don't understand. You want to pull away and you can't? Then you need to work on your self control and stop reading.

But I know what you mean about the post surge. I'm in one now. And sometimes this site is very entertaining.

As far as having a lack of desire to improve myself, well, I can't identify with you there.

 

[green69]

I too was addicted to this site around 6 months ago. I wasn't really having luck with the ladies, and I was bored so I just read stuff out of my own personal interest and boredom. It wasn't that I was desperate for techniques or anything, but I just had nothing better to do and a lot of topics were of interest to me.

But there came a point in time when I realized I was reading this site too much and I was becoming addicted. Whether you realize it or not, reading all these articles, field reports, techniques, people posts can get in your way too much. You start thinking too much about attraction and getting girls, when you should actually just be doing your own thing and let the girls come naturally.

So how did I battle this? I left the site. At first it was so hard not to come and read a post. The first week was brutal, in fact. But after a while I got out of the habit of going here and then next thing you know I wasn't even thinking about it. Suddenly my success with girls was much better, and I started to develop other hobbies and interests which kept me busy.

Then 3-4 months later, I came back "for old times sakes." and I took everything with a grain of salt. It was nice coming back from a long break...because I didn't feel addicted at all and it was nice to see these kind of posts again.

Now it's been a few months since then, I think I'm reading this site too much again. I should prolly take a break because I am spending too much time here.

If I were you, I would do the same. Take a few days off (it will be hard I know) and see how it goes. See what other things you end up doing instead of sitting on the computer reading a forum. You might feel rejuvinated to not be hooked on reading these articles and posts. I'm seriously considering doing the same, because I am getting back into this viscious cycle unfortunately.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Yes its definitely normal to want to post after you start to "get it." You do it not only to give good advice, but also to keep those principles and values stuck in your head. I'd say that's good practice to keep your game sharp.

One correction though, there's no way in hell you were 4-5% bf at any point. Top level bodybuilders who are on every drug/steroid possible are around 6-7% after dropping their warter weight for a competition. I work out for two reasons, because it makes me feel good about myself and keeps you healthy. If you ever work out just to impress girls then your fooling yourself.




PIMP

 

[DonJuanMonk]

"hi my name is h2o. i am so successful in life that i gotta tell eveyrone about it. golly gee, i also have another big problem. it's that i keep coming back to this site over and over despite me being more successful, more attractive than all of you. thanks for reading my post."

 

[h2o]

Arioch: Yeah, self-control…that’s the word I was looking for. Shortly after you posted I tried a search, but it seems most of the threads were directed towards controlling one’s composure and emotions around women. Any threads/articles you’d suggest?

green69: Yeah, I guess you guys know what I mean then. Leaving for six months sounds great…I’d like to do that too. Yeah, it’s like this site has become one of my “hobbies.” I'm pathetic.

Pimp-sicle: True, I feel like it does reinforce some stuff when I post to others, but I think I should be doing it less often. It’s like I feel an urge to post sometimes, when it’s really not necessary, the guy could just go “read the bible,” and it would work anyway. I just need some self-control.

With regards, to the body-fat percentage, I don’t exactly remember how much it was, I said 4-5% because I was clearly “chiseled.” That’s back when I was a freshman/sophomore in high school…I stopped after sophomore year, because I was basically doing it to impress girls, and I thought since I’m not getting any why keep trying, so I gave up then, like 5-6 years ago…I kept running and stuff, but not to the extend I was doing it before…I got very unhealthy. Then I started becoming a little healthy again last year (I mentioned Oct04-Dec04)…that was not because of girls, but because I befell to some unfortunate medical circumstances and had to be hospitalized and sh*t, so I decided to pull together and get myself healthier.

DonJuanMonk: Thanks for your input…

I'm not saying I know everything, am successful, or perfect. I have a long ways to go, but I'd like to spend some time away from this site, and see how far I can get independent of forum support, etc. It's like someone once said, if this forum all of a sudden shut down one day, what would some of us do? Go back to our AFC ways, or improve even more? I think that's why I need to control myself a bit if I can, and spend time away from this site, to see if I have truly "gotten it" or not.

I think the consensus is that I need to learn some self-control, and I agree. I’ll look into that. But does anyone else feel the same about not working out, being complacent, etc? …and how to get around it?

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Originally posted by h2o
I think the consensus is that I need to learn some self-control, and I agree. I’ll look into that. But does anyone else feel the same about not working out, being complacent, etc? …and how to get around it? [/B]

There's so many things to do in this word bro, never worry about becoming stagnant or staying in one position.

Examples:

1. Plastic modeling (putting together plastic airplanes, cars)
2. Puzzles (putting together a 1000 piece puzzle and placing them on a board to hang on a wall)
3. Photography (learning how to take professional pictures)
4. Martial Arts (finding new ways to attack/defend yourself physicall)
5. Playing an instrument (Ever wanted to learn how to play a guitar?)

etc.

 

[h2o]

hey DonJuanMonk, good tips, I guess you're saying just find something better to occupy my time with it like a new hobby...sounds plausible...

You also wrote this in another thread with regards to making friends:

Originally posted by DonJuanMonk
Try to not make friends with the following:

4. Depressed/Angry

etc...those who are vastly different from you.

If you are friends with these types, and you wonder why your life is so messed up - better look for new friends..

I have a bunch of acquaintances, some friends who I am more closer than with than others. My best friend, in particular is very negative about life, always slacking, etc. I've often thought that I have almost nothing in common with him (and wonder why the heck we are even friends), but still, we've been friends for such a long time, I'm not going to just ditch him or anything. But this is a good tip, because I do spend more time hanging around with him, even when other guys invite me to hang out...I should have thought of this. Like, if I hang out with my best friend, we'll end up at a bar, drinking until 4am, and not doing our homework for the weekend, due to hangovers...but if I hung out with my other more positive, academically-driven friends (not as close with, but still tell me to hang out with them, and I more often than not turn them down), went sailing or did some recreation, etc, I'd be better off. guess I'm just hanging around the wrong people. I kind knew this, but in the back of my mind I liked to believe that it can't really affect me, that I must be weak for letting others influence me or something.

big thanks for confirming this