When her EX shows up in the picture.

[Raymond]

What is the best action to take?

My friend is currently dating a girl whose EX is still in the picture. They broke up 5 years ago. The EX hurts her emotion a lot and she says she's not ready for a relationship or if she will ever be ready. She changes her contact info, but her EX somehow still finds her. He will always appear and disappear. She says she's really bother by him and her thinking of him has become her habit.

I told my friend that she's trouble and has a huge emotional baggage. She can't get over her EX and not ready for a relationship. If I were him, I would had cut her off immediately. But he wouldn't listen. He wants to talk to her about her EX and stuff. He wants to express how much he likes her and to persuade her to like him. He says he wants to try even if the chance of success is slim.

What do I tell him?

 

[logicallefty]

- Tell him to cut her off

- Tell him to put his open mind cap on, come to this site, and start reading

- Tell him if he doesn't do both above, you will still be his friend of course, but you no longer will listen to anything to do with his problems with her or women in general ever again. The said subjects are OFF LIMITS in you and his relationship with each other

He will probably not do this anytime soon, but at least you have laid your boundaries and hopefully given yourself a little peace from his drama

 

[GS750]

Ex still in the picture = she likely misses him/still has feelings for him. She cannot be fully invested in your friend if she's still in contact with her ex. He needs to downgrade her to FWB status.