HalfPUAHalfAFC
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2012
- Messages
- 323
- Reaction score
- 60
I've had mixed success over the years but probably have more experience than the average guy but now I find myself in a new situation and would just like some advice from guys who've been there.
In short, I've caught the attention of a 25 year old woman while I'm 45. She definitely likes me but has not yet let the seduction get on the fast track, i.e., we haven't slept together yet but this last weekend our interactions escalated to making out and talking about seeing each other more.
I'm not sure that all the details are important but I'll hit the highlights.
1. I direct approached her at a restaurant about 2 months ago. Chatted for an hour and left with her number. I had no idea about her age (I guessed mid-20s to early 30s) and I didn't let on about mine (I look about 35, according to most people).
2. Set up two dates via text (no blowing up her phone) but she canceled the first because of babysitter issues and the second because she said her mom planned a going away party for her brother without telling her. I was skeptical and basically stopped contacting her for dates or anything else really. That about about 1 1/2 months ago. She didn't know enough about me, which was a problem because when she finally saw me in one of my natural environments....
3. She approached me at a concert two weeks ago. We chatted well. There was a vibe there. She had no idea I was into the same music as her and this was a scene we were both totally at home in. She was more than polite but in fact followed me a bit and clearly enjoyed my attention. I texted her the next day suggesting we should go out dancing sometime. She agreed it was a good idea but gave me the "I'm very busy so I'll get in touch when I have free time." Didn't think much of it.
4. This last week I just texted her the name of a band and when they were playing this weekend. She replied affirmative and met me there.
5. We vibed hard. Lots of sexy dancing, kino, some kissing. She mentioned sometime during the evening that (1) she was hesitant to see me at first because of my age (which I don't act in many ways; I'm a sitload of fun) and (2) she's been trying to weed out some clingy guys that were recently chasing her. By the end of the evening, she was asking me if I wanted to go out dancing more with her. Of course.
6. Run into her last night at the pub in my neighborhood. She's with a girl friend, who I game also to get in good with. It's only the second time I've seen her there (it's my regular pub, been going there for years). I'm guessing she came there hoping I'd drop in. Also, her friend already knew my profession, asking me about it before I ever brought it up, so my girl evidently told her about me. I figured I was being vetted for approval.
Us three end up back at my place for an hour or so for a night cap. They leave in separate cars and when we get to her's some kissing is on, she's smiling, but also doesn't linger on too long. I say, "You and I. We need to hang out", grabbing her waist and kissing her. She reciprocates but backs off, smiling. Happens twice. She again says we'll go out but I'll need to wait for her to get in touch when her schedule opens up. That's her story and, evidently, she's sticking to it.
She's way hot. Yes, busy (full time job, kid, takes classes). No problem.
That's a long way to set up my questions.
I know not to blow up her phone. I know that the ball is in her court and right now if I contact her first, I'll fail. I get that. And, of course, I'm gaming other women and not playing sniper with her. Still, having been with women who were really into me before, I totally get all the IOIs, smiles, flirty-ness, touching, giggles, etc. from her that other women who've fallen for me have had. We we're are on the right footing here, though I'm not in denial about the fact that younger women have the attention span of a gnat (relative to women my age, though they aren't much better).
What I'd like to know from guys who have succeeded and failed with closing the deal with a women 20 years younger:
What are "must do's" in such a situation? What things must I not forget? What did you do that helped her get over the age situation and totally go for you? (she's on the verge of this but I can tell she's still thinking, "I really like him, but do I really want to date a guy 20 years older?"). I also know not to bring up the age issue, and haven't. I should mention we have a lot of the same interests so it's not like we'll be foreign to each other's worlds.
What are "must NOT do's" here? What did you do that blew yourself out?
Please skip the answers that relate to "treat her like any other girl". I get that in most ways. I'm just wondering if there are any special circumstances such a situation, since this is new territory for me.
In short, I've caught the attention of a 25 year old woman while I'm 45. She definitely likes me but has not yet let the seduction get on the fast track, i.e., we haven't slept together yet but this last weekend our interactions escalated to making out and talking about seeing each other more.
I'm not sure that all the details are important but I'll hit the highlights.
1. I direct approached her at a restaurant about 2 months ago. Chatted for an hour and left with her number. I had no idea about her age (I guessed mid-20s to early 30s) and I didn't let on about mine (I look about 35, according to most people).
2. Set up two dates via text (no blowing up her phone) but she canceled the first because of babysitter issues and the second because she said her mom planned a going away party for her brother without telling her. I was skeptical and basically stopped contacting her for dates or anything else really. That about about 1 1/2 months ago. She didn't know enough about me, which was a problem because when she finally saw me in one of my natural environments....
3. She approached me at a concert two weeks ago. We chatted well. There was a vibe there. She had no idea I was into the same music as her and this was a scene we were both totally at home in. She was more than polite but in fact followed me a bit and clearly enjoyed my attention. I texted her the next day suggesting we should go out dancing sometime. She agreed it was a good idea but gave me the "I'm very busy so I'll get in touch when I have free time." Didn't think much of it.
4. This last week I just texted her the name of a band and when they were playing this weekend. She replied affirmative and met me there.
5. We vibed hard. Lots of sexy dancing, kino, some kissing. She mentioned sometime during the evening that (1) she was hesitant to see me at first because of my age (which I don't act in many ways; I'm a sitload of fun) and (2) she's been trying to weed out some clingy guys that were recently chasing her. By the end of the evening, she was asking me if I wanted to go out dancing more with her. Of course.
6. Run into her last night at the pub in my neighborhood. She's with a girl friend, who I game also to get in good with. It's only the second time I've seen her there (it's my regular pub, been going there for years). I'm guessing she came there hoping I'd drop in. Also, her friend already knew my profession, asking me about it before I ever brought it up, so my girl evidently told her about me. I figured I was being vetted for approval.
Us three end up back at my place for an hour or so for a night cap. They leave in separate cars and when we get to her's some kissing is on, she's smiling, but also doesn't linger on too long. I say, "You and I. We need to hang out", grabbing her waist and kissing her. She reciprocates but backs off, smiling. Happens twice. She again says we'll go out but I'll need to wait for her to get in touch when her schedule opens up. That's her story and, evidently, she's sticking to it.
She's way hot. Yes, busy (full time job, kid, takes classes). No problem.
That's a long way to set up my questions.
I know not to blow up her phone. I know that the ball is in her court and right now if I contact her first, I'll fail. I get that. And, of course, I'm gaming other women and not playing sniper with her. Still, having been with women who were really into me before, I totally get all the IOIs, smiles, flirty-ness, touching, giggles, etc. from her that other women who've fallen for me have had. We we're are on the right footing here, though I'm not in denial about the fact that younger women have the attention span of a gnat (relative to women my age, though they aren't much better).
What I'd like to know from guys who have succeeded and failed with closing the deal with a women 20 years younger:
What are "must do's" in such a situation? What things must I not forget? What did you do that helped her get over the age situation and totally go for you? (she's on the verge of this but I can tell she's still thinking, "I really like him, but do I really want to date a guy 20 years older?"). I also know not to bring up the age issue, and haven't. I should mention we have a lot of the same interests so it's not like we'll be foreign to each other's worlds.
What are "must NOT do's" here? What did you do that blew yourself out?
Please skip the answers that relate to "treat her like any other girl". I get that in most ways. I'm just wondering if there are any special circumstances such a situation, since this is new territory for me.
