When everything is said and done, are you still a DJ?

[Diaforetikos]

Its funny how my mindset changes so frequently. Usually its in 3-2 month intervals, but lately, it has been on a daily basis. I need clarity.

This is sosuave, so let me talk about women.

I don't know if this is follows along the same ideals as sosuave, but I really don't give two kinds of fvck. I used sosuave to get her, and now I'm happy, working out, looking for a new career and having fun doing my hobbies. But I'm not here to impress. I'm here to discuss.

She hated me the first year. Didn't talk to me the first half of the second. The second year was my DonJuan year. I spent all my time reading and practicing all the information provided here. She was my first test subject. Each new thing I learned, I practiced on her. All the things I read previously that didn't mean much to me at first, I practiced on her. From acting aloof, to quick fun phone calls, ****y short texts, the over confident attitude, being sexual, practice of kino, drawing the line, and walking away. I did it all on her. I tried almost everything written in the DJ Bible. I built this mindset, with her always in mind. I dated other women while her and I hooked up. I've slept with two other women while I was with her. I didn't take any sh!t from her, and I always took the lead, even when she thought she was, I was still in control. After all of this, I still go back to her. Why?? TWO YEARS! TWO FREAKIN' YEARS! She is still here, and I enjoy every minute of it.

Why? Why do I settle with her? What does she have that I don't get from other women? Her tomboyish acts? Her love of artisitic movies? Her anger towards my love of 5-hour Energy drinks, or the rough and wild sex? She wants to be free, but she continues to pursue me. What is the carrot at the end of my stick? What does she see in me that I don't see.




Being a man isn't something we are taught. We are born with it. But we become blind by our upbringing. By our early childhood and well into our adulthood. Our media sources, and the whispers of the music persuade us to a lifestyle that is not our own. I wanted my nature back. Who I was? I came to sosuave to reopen what was closed.

So does she see me, my true nature? Am I a man? Have I fully unleashed what I've wanted?

But what makes her so addictive? Why does she find a way to niche herself into my life.


My mindset is always changing. The ideal DJ mind is all about spinning plates and doing what one loves. Settling is for the mature. But at my age, 22, why must I focus on gaining experience with women, when in fact, I will settle for one. I want to get married. I want to have a son and raise him to be the best he can. Give him the option of controlling his own future. I don't want him to live the players lifestyle. I want him to live confident and care free. I don't want him to have women on his agenda like I did. It should be all natural. I want a women to back me in the raising of my children.


So what is this lifestyle teaching me that I can use in my future? Confidence. To have my head held up high. Knowing I'm in control of who I am. Knowing that no matter who or what pushes my life, I still have the ultimate choice of who I am and what I do. I will pass this on to my children.


So now my question is, what is my experience with women teaching me? Not a d*mn thing. It is just entertainment. An add on to my life. More of a distraction than anything. I am a giver. I want to make people happy when I have the opportunity, but not a my expense. So I give to someone I care about. As a man, it may just be the provider in me. I smile when the ones I care about smile. But I catch myself going against what this site preaches. I fight myself daily not to become one to giving to the women I actually care about. But why worry? I won't lose someone over my giving. I am confident now. I never was before. So why worry? Old habit.


This rant was just my thought on a few things of my personal life choices and thoughts. I wanna end with a question:




When you have finally felt you have become a DJ, is it alright to do what you want, even if it goes againsnt major rules of the DJ Bible??

 

[Darth]

Hey man- I follow Christianity, and the real Bible. The DJ Bible doesn't mean sh!t.

It scares me how people act about this place...it's like a cult.

why must I focus on gaining experience with women, when in fact, I will settle for one. I want to get married. I want to have a son and raise him to be the best he can.

I feel exactly the same way.

In closing,

is it alright to do what you want, even if it goes againsnt major rules of the DJ Bible??t

You should never have blindly accepted those "rules" in the first place. Be your own man. That's the main point of lots of those old posts in the first place.

 

[Diaforetikos]

I haven't accepted it as my law of life by any means. Just as a guideline set of things to go off of. But its hard to ignore the rules when I constantly read threads that receive advice from people who feel that pushing more DJ rules into the topic will cure the OPs symptoms of AFC.

Yes, the OP is a n00b to the way of the DJ mindset, but I've seen some advice given to more experienced posters, that contained many lessons from the DJ Bible.

My thought was, if I want to become a DJ, do what DJ's do. And that's what I did. But as I gained more confidence with women, and more skill with women, I saw that I don't have to spin plates to keep from hurting. And I have the ability to be in a relationship without feeling like getting attached is a bad thing.

I saw and still see that the DJ ways of constantly spinning plates are for the ones with a wanting to have sex with different women because its fun, and for the people afraid of getting hurt when they decide to commit to a women.

Women do bring me pleasure, but I don't want to live my life constantly seeking pleasure. If that was the case, I'd stay at home playing video games so I could go professional.

I want to live giving.

Spinning plates is more of a selfish act and less of a giving one. I did spin plates for a while, but it wasn't what I hoped it would be. Juggling women. Telling them I got other girls on the side. I felt like a man wh*re. It was fun, but selfish. Is sex really that important to me that I have to go juggle women to get it? No it is not. I do not easily gain content from small things, but I know when to give into it. I'm content with sexing one women. Juggling women becomes work.

I am in no way knocking peoples lifestyle choices of plate spinning. I for one cannot do it. If you like doing it, do what makes you happy, but I find it hard and selfish.

The argument, women want sex just as bad, still stands, but I find it an excuse for myself. Yes, I do agree they want sex as bad as men, if not more so. But for me to use that as a justification to sex them is an excuse to get sex. Abstinence isn't my goal, self control is. The, its human nature, argument has more holes than a golf course.

I control my life. Human nature didn't build me. My life choices that I made molded me into who I am today. They continue to mold me. I choose where I go, how much sex I have, who I have sex with, what I believe in, and what I think. I know that. I let my life be guided by the DJ Bible for a while. I wanted that life. I chose it. I was born a man, not by choice, but I choose my manly lifestyle and try to live it that way I think it should be lived.

And Darth, I do believe in the Christian lifestyle. I don't claim to be a real christian because I do not act like one. But I do read the bible and go to church. I volunteer at the church as well. But I will not claim to be a real christian until I start acting like one.

^^^This is not a debate statement by any means. Just my life choice statement. I do not wish to argue this matter further as it is not a debate.

 

[handle]

I take what I need from the site and that's that. The "bible" is just a bunch of posts -- some useful, some not so much -- to give yourself a kick in the ass. After you have that kick, you should do whatever you want with it. I think I came to this site because I wanted to be comfortable around girls. Now I am. The intention was never to be a player or whatever.

It helps to take a step back and remember why you even came here in the first place.

 

[Warrior74]

*edit* to give you a direct answer....

When you have finally felt you have become a DJ, is it alright to do what you want, even if it goes againsnt major rules of the DJ Bible??

If you've had some success with women, and you feel pretty confident in yourself, then throw away whatever rule book you have and freestyle it. It's like my art teacher used to say, you can't break the rules until you learn them.

That being said. I hate that term "DJ". We are just men learning a bit more about dating and women. Tons of dudes do this stuff everyday with no bible or guides or support from their bros. Ya know?

 

[loveshogun]

Quote Bruce Lee:

You must learn the way, so that you may have no way. You must learn the form, so that you may be formless.

You can also look at it from the POV of sports. Look at a boxer. 90 percent of a boxer's training is drills and repetition. A boxer's training regimen is strictly regulated to put into his body the information on how to react to a thousand different situations.

But you bet your ass that once he steps into the ring, situation #1001 will come up. Now, someone who knows nothing about boxing will say "damn, all that training for nothing." That person is the sports equivalent of the AFC and doesn't know sh*t. All that training for situations 1-1000 will allow the boxer to make HIS own decisions in nano-seconds with full confidence whenever he comes up with something not mentioned in his training manuals or drill sessions.

Now, that's not to say you should completely ignore that voice inside of you. But you should realize the voice, by itself, will get you nowhere. But if you completely ignore it in favor of training, you missed the point of why you wanted to improve yourself in the first place.

If you've already sharpened your skills, you're ready to do what you want to do. If this woman treats you well, and this is the woman you want, go for it.

You better be sure, though.



Finally, for beginners I explain all that like this:

1) Train first
2) Keep training
3) Little voice inside? Now maybe listen to it, a little.

 

[Diaforetikos]

The last three posts all make sense. That is how I view it. Learn the rules, remember the rules and let them become you, use better judgment to break the rules.

Well I feel good knowing I've stepped it up in a direction that I've been wanting to go. Hope I can keep taking more steps.

Thanks guys.