When "embracing the hate" has no effect?

[The LadyKiller]

It's somewhat clique-y Sgt Splacker. People have their own groups with whom they hang out with, but they mix too. The cliques aren't as sharp as, say, in high school or in movies (the examples mentioned).

Only fags care about Facebook and Twitter friends.

Besides, you're at WORK. You're supposed to be working. Ever thought the girls are just trying to be professional while they're at work? You shouldn't even bother hitting on chicks at work, man. It's a recipe for disaster.

I don't know how long you're been working there, but it usually takes a while to become "one of the guys". You can be an outgoing guy, but are you also a likable guy? Are you authentic? Are you yourself without compromise?

I remember at my last job (I quit to focus more on my study), most people thought I was weird and kinda laughed about me at the start. I'm sure there was plenty of talking behind my back, too. I just didn't gave a flying f*ck and kept doing what I was doing: being myself, being different than everyone else. I'm not afraid of that. For example, I'm big on self-depreciating humor and I sing with the radio and stupid sh*t like that. I like, fun, man.

After a month or so though, all the "cool guys", including several guys in management, started hanging out with me during lunch and the coffee break.

Be yourself, don't be afraid to be 'out there', don't be afraid to be 'weird', don't expect anything and ignore negative signals. That doesn't mean that you have to be a kiss-ass. Everybody hates a brown-nose. I didn't take any bullsh*t from anybody. Even when someone 'above me' told me something I didn't agree with, I told them straight up. And, of course, I worked my ass off, that too.

It's called having a personality. Almost no one really has one. Don't be afraid to show off yours.

Again, as I mentioned in the OP, it's a little different. It's a slow area and we all relocated for the job at a large company, so everyone we know/friends with is from work. They call our work center a campus. But I digress; because of the environment, girls at work are friends with guys, it's normal. There are even some couples! I do my work, but it's worth getting to know people as well.

My time at this job has been approximately one year. I'm not fake, and the likability is determined by whatever others think of me. I'm not obnoxious or crude. The advice you give is good, I guess I'm concerned because it's been close to a year. I'm not new.

 

[snowdog]

It's somewhat clique-y Sgt Splacker. People have their own groups with whom they hang out with, but they mix too. The cliques aren't as sharp as, say, in high school or in movies (the examples mentioned).



Again, as I mentioned in the OP, it's a little different. It's a slow area and we all relocated for the job at a large company, so everyone we know/friends with is from work. They call our work center a campus. But I digress; because of the environment, girls at work are friends with guys, it's normal. There are even some couples! I do my work, but it's worth getting to know people as well.

My time at this job has been approximately one year. I'm not fake, and the likability is determined by whatever others think of me. I'm not obnoxious or crude. The advice you give is good, I guess I'm concerned because it's been close to a year. I'm not new.

Yeah, I see. A year is pretty long.

Hey, well, some people don't mix with each other. Sometimes it just works that way. Certain groups of people wouldn't give me the light of day and some groups of people think I'm awesome.

If you're an outgoing, talkative and positive guy, like you say, you'll have to deal with that too. A lot of people simply don't know how to handle people like that because it's too far away from who they are. Introvert people generally hang out with other introvert people because it's non threating. A super energetic, happy guy that talks a lot can be very intimidating to an introvert or insecure person.


I'm curious about this story now though, because it really sounds like a situation I'd hate, too.

Has it been this way from the beginning? It could be that you barged in there with guns blazing when they weren't ready for it and now they still see you as "that guy". Who knows, I don't know. I'm just guessing here.

Also again, keep in mind that you're at work. I don't know the nature of your company, but when people are at their job, they really tend to be in "I'm on the job-mode", no matter how laid back the job-atmosphere is. I'm all for partying and having fun, but if someone would talk to me in the same way as they would as if we were drinking beers in a bar, I would feel that it would kind of out-of-place, too.

Regardless of anything, keep being that happy, positive outgoing guy, man. We're a minority.


Hope that helped!

 

[HalfAddict]

Dude, stop trying to **** where you eat. Forget the dames you work with and go find a date elsewhere, with someone who shows interest. You cannot work with every person in your "slow area" and if it is really that bad go to a dating site, anything is better than making things akward and funky at work.