When does the abundance mindset become too important?

[Thorninmyside]

Ive currently got two plates that I'm banging but another two I'm trying to get there with and always trying to meet new girls. Of the two I'm intimate with, one is of lower attractiveness and status than the other three, but treats me like a frikkin king. Cooks, massages me, genuinely cares for me (and me for her. She is a sweetie). Good wife material in the care and loyalty regards, pretty but not HOT in the looks dept.

The other one I sleep with is a smokin hot career focused woman too selfish for me to wife up, and I sense the other two I'm working on would be good casual girls but too demanding emotionally to be exclusive with. Both deadset beautiful.

I'm really enjoying playing the field though because I never have before, but the good girl is now hinting at exclusivity. I don't want to ditch her and I'd miss the way she treats me, but I'm enjoying seeing what else is out there.

When do you decide that one is worth ditching the others for, without looking over the fence to see what else is out there? I feel like if I'm in a perpetual state of scouting, I might end up never being satisfied. Am I being shallow for wanting a girl who treats me well AND is as hot as the others I'm spinning?

 

[old married dude]

If you're looking to just narrow it down to one, just ask yourself which is the best total package as far as looks, connection, passion, techniques, etc go. Nothing wrong with having multiple plates, but do they know? If not that can be a bad situation, but if they know you have others & don't care you have a free pass pretty much.

A lot of it depends on what's most important to you also in a FB/FWB. Nowadays I prefer someone who's very open & adventurous sexually over anything else. Current FWB is like a 7, but very, very freaky and into just about anything, will entertain any desire I have without hesitation. The chemistry is also insanely hot. I actually dropped a 9 who was really vanilla in the bedroom to be exclusive with my current.

 

[Thorninmyside]

I'm 40 now so I guess I'm just looking ahead that if I want a family, being 45 or 50 and still trying to live like the Fonz is gonna be the opposite of that. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit mentally draining thinking about multiple girls and keeping plates in the air, but having had two failed marriages in the afc days, I don't want to get stuck with a bad choice again.

The two girls I'm intimate with don't know specifics but I met them on a dating site and both know my profile is still active and that I haven't stopped replying to any prospects that contact me.