When does a work flirt become something more?

[cfdagola]

So just about everybody I know work flirts. Just casual flirting and it helps pass the time.

but lately at this part time job i keep around 3 days a week. There's a girl who works at the customer service counter who I honestly have a gut feeling she's into me.

we always work flirted in the past she would take a jab at me and give me a neg here and there and I would do the same and that would be it. Or if I saw her in the backroom i'd lag around and chat with her.

lately though as I slowly am starting to get back to my old self. I've felt a vibe from her and now when she flirts she mixes it in with lots of kino. just last night she hooked arms with me. or she'll walk with me to wherever i'm headed to and playfully bump into me a little pushing me and i'll push back sometimes it just seems to happen on its own.

people who work around me have noticed our interactions and tell me i should go for it. Because its obvious she's feeling something.

And uncharacteristically the first time ever she asked if what time i was working the next day.

But honestly i'm not sure when a work flirt turns into something more serious not trying to make a move and her be like... Oh yeah see this is just a work thing i'm sorry i gave the wrong impression. But i dunno she's hinted slightly at wanting to do things but its really vague.

Any input?

 

[SmooveMooves]

Most people on SS will tell you to seperate work & play. I agree, halfway, as I'm a guy who tends not to give many fvcks.

I say go for it, but its only right to lay the consequences out for you.

1. Sexual Harassment- If you guys fallout, which is highly likely, this card is a definitely a possibility.

2. Lose your job- A lot of companies are against this kinda thing, they don't want workers out there fūcking each other.

3. Weird Vibe- You know, after you guys break up or fight and you know you still have to walk by her and pretend you don't know her, chopping through that awkward tension with a machete.

4. Other chicks- If you mess with this chick other chicks at work usually become jealous & off limits. You'll get snarky lil annoying comments like "where's such and such" as well as them closing their legs indefinetly because "He dated such and such from my work"

Well, there you have it.

If its a shít job, I say go for it.

 

[cfdagola]

Most people on SS will tell you to seperate work & play. I agree, halfway, as I'm a guy who tends not to give many fvcks.

I say go for it, but its only right to lay the consequences out for you.

1. Sexual Harassment- If you guys fallout, which is highly likely, this card is a definitely a possibility.

2. Lose your job- A lot of companies are against this kinda thing, they don't want workers out there fūcking each other.

3. Weird Vibe- You know, after you guys break up or fight and you know you still have to walk by her and pretend you don't know her, chopping through that awkward tension with a machete.

4. Other chicks- If you mess with this chick other chicks at work usually become jealous & off limits. You'll get snarky lil annoying comments like "where's such and such" as well as them closing their legs indefinetly because "He dated such and such from my work"

Well, there you have it.

If its a shít job, I say go for it.

this job is hardly worth keeping around lol like i said its a part time gig. while i finish school i'm already working in the field with my degree at an internship the rest of the week. She also goes to the same school although we've never met on campus.

but you say go for it. I think I will on Tuesday night i'll ask her if she wants to grab a bite to eat at the bar across the street. its harmless, low key and a good way to get some casual conversation going outside of work and also gauge her true interest in me which I believe to be high.

Simply put she never used to come around the department anytime in the past she needed something she'd call over and ask her question. Now she'll come swing by even for the smallest of things.

If i'm not around she'll get what she needs and move off. if i'm there she'll lag a little. this never used to happen.

Also my general confusion isn't helping but she exhibits all the buying signs. I mean anything i say is apparently hilarious. But maybe she just loves to laugh a lot. She's also started to give me small compliments on how I look. Again never happened before. and the biggest sign of all at least in my opinion is all the kino she gives me. She is extremely comfortable getting right into my personal space and touching. And on Thursday night i asked another person a question with her standing there and she just looked at me directly in the eye while sucking on a sucker until i was like this is weird and looked away.

She's also pretty hot, I've stated to others she's just a big flirt its nothing. but then they go that's interesting you say that because We never see her flirt at all. or at least not to us.

But I don't even have her number. I think I may need that before anything can move forward.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Cfdagola: Before I get started, you need to stop:

1) Over-analyzing her every move & what it may/may not mean

2) Develop self confidence in yourself: there's a saying in sales, ASSUME THE CLOSE. The same principal applies to dating/women. If your confident and know how to create & elevate attraction you will get what you want. If you don't, then you will miss your opportunity.

How you proceed from here is key and that's what I'll help you with.

but you say go for it. I think I will on Tuesday night i'll ask her if she wants to grab a bite to eat at the bar across the street. its harmless, low key and a good way to get some casual conversation going outside of work and also gauge her true interest in me which I believe to be high.

Yes you absolutely 100% should go for it. ASSUME interest and this girl is blatantly interested in you. The only way she can make it more obvious is by spelling it out for you.

When you ask her, as you mentioned make it seems super casual and plan in advance. Women are social creatures, often times they have plans for that night and the next night. Elevate your chances of success by asking a her a couple of days in advance of the target night and make it during the week so she's less likely to be busy.

Simply put she never used to come around the department anytime in the past she needed something she'd call over and ask her question. Now she'll come swing by even for the smallest of things.

Stop overanalyzing, your doing this because ultimately you fear getting rejected because your ego can't handle it. Once you realize subconsciously that its no big deal, you'll give less phucks. Don't let your fear control your desire.

Also the more you over-analyze, the more you hype this situation up in your mind and make it seem like a much bigger deal, than it actually is….

Also my general confusion isn't helping but she exhibits all the buying signs. I mean anything i say is apparently hilarious. But maybe she just loves to laugh a lot.

Fear of rejection

She's also started to give me small compliments on how I look. Again never happened before. and the biggest sign of all at least in my opinion is all the kino she gives me.

This is a big deal and a strong indicator of attraction/interest. If she's taking the time to notice your clothes, style & overall appearance; she's interested.

She is extremely comfortable getting right into my personal space and touching. And on Thursday night i asked another person a question with her standing there and she just looked at me directly in the eye while sucking on a sucker until i was like this is weird and looked away.

Its weird because of your fear and lack of self confidence. Locking eyes with a girl for more than a couple seconds is extremely powerful and a display of confidence. Don't look away next time.

She's also pretty hot, I've stated to others she's just a big flirt its nothing. but then they go that's interesting you say that because We never see her flirt at all. or at least not to us.

This is a mistake; don't talk to other co-workers about her. Maintain that mystery about you, this will intrigue her more and only increase her attraction for you.

But I don't even have her number. I think I may need that before anything can move forward.

Says who? Is there a rule that you have to get that first, before you can ask a girl out?

Ask her to hang out and once she says yes, tell her to give you her number or she might offer it herself before you ask


You need to take swings at the plate to develop self confidence and that comes through success.


Let me know if you have any questions








PIMP