When do you expect it?

[MysteryWoman]

Inspired by another thread, how long will you wait for a girl to have sex?

The last guy I dated, has been ignoring me ever since I politely refused to sleep with him on our second meeting (we only ever had one official date-anyway haven't seen him with another girl since-despite his good looks), I wouldn't have made him wait much longer.

If you are looking for a relationship is okay if a girl has sex with you on the second date, or does it at least have to be not before the third date, or do you expect three clear dates without sex?
Or are you prepared to wait longer?

I need a bit of help here?

 

[Quick]

I was tired of girls using sex as a carrot, so I stopped worrying about it. As long as we're progressing sexually and having fun together I don't worry because I know it will come eventually. Depending on how often I see them, and how much I enjoy being with them apart from the sex, i could go up to a month with no problem. Of course, I'd probably be working on other girls who i'm already sexual with, so that helps too.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

This is England you're talking about - what's this 2nd/3rd date bs? You telling me you guys follow that over here? Strange, it's not happening here in .ie.

When it happens it happens. For me, I slept with both my last 2 LTR gfs on the 1st night, which a lot of ppl will tell you aint a good thing (but both worked fine).

If he's interested enough in you, besides the punani, then he should be happy to wait for a week or 2 of "seeing" each other.

Osc.

 

[Chewy Bagel]

As many people will tell you. It all depends on the guy and how he feels about it. Personally, I like a girl who puts out on the first date - I dated a girl for 5 years who I had sex with on the first date. However, some guys might think that a girl who puts out on the first date is a slut and not want to be with them.

If a guy has a high IL in you, then he'd be willing to wait for when you're ready for sex - provided you kissed him or at least showed an interest in having sex with him. If he feels like he's being used as a meal ticket, then he will be gone soon.

That guy did not have much of an interest if he is ignoring you because you didn't put out on the second date. In fact, I'm sure that if you did put out, then relationship still would have ended quickly if not the next day.

The three date rule is usually the best method of determining when you should have sex, IMO.

CB

 

[Frosty]

Considering an aim for relationship, you wasn't out of order to politely refuse to have sex with him. As far as how long to wait, it depends. It depends on how fast the relationship advance, how horny the two people are, and the point at which two people are comfortable enough to have sex.
In other words, if enough rapport and comfort level hasn't been built up between the two, what's wrong with waiting until it has? Nothing.

Sometimes people are refused sex in a relationship and still do not behave like this guy so ask yourself why is he so turned off by someone refusing to have sex with him who is not even relationship with him and it was only the second "meeting." Well, my guess is that it was all he wanted and he is not too much into persistance.

If you are looking for a relationship is okay if a girl has sex with you on the second date, or does it at least have to be not before the third date, or do you expect three clear dates without sex?

The traditional answer is: when both people are ready; not one person. That's why I like to get into seduction so that I can speed my date's readiness up.

 

[princelydeeds]

I agree with Chewy Bagel. I notice he is 29, same age as me. I think all the waiting is more of an age maturity thing. When I was 18 and she gave it up on the first night I thought the woman was a slut. At a certain age, we accept, expect and prefer a woman not to be so virginal. Most guys think they want this virginal saint they can put up on a pedestal but what they fail to realise is that all women are human and flawed just like ourselves.

At this point in my life, I would probably run the other way if I met a chick who said she was avirgin. I don't want a slut, but at 29 if a chick started bonin at 18 and averaged one new guy every year that would be 11 guys. Most people will average more than that, but oh well you can do the math. The sheer volume just adds up. So you learn to accept her experiences and you appreciate the fact that she knows how to work it in the sack.

I think that if you meet a mature guy who understands the world and understands women its ok to sleep with him on the first date. If you do give it up and he doesnt call you again then oh well, no wasted time. He revealed himself quickly without wasting too much of your time. He actually did u a favor.

 

[JohnJones]

I agree with Quick that it has to be naturally arrived at (for both) and not a carrot (until it becomes odd that you haven't).


Doesn't the fact that he's not calling anymore ratify your decision not to sleep together on the 2nd (or 1 and 1/2) date?

 

[chlywly]

Depends how much she means to you, if its a long term fruitfall relationship I will wait a few years depending on our spiritual connection.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by chlywly
Depends how much she means to you, if its a long term fruitfall relationship I will wait a few years depending on our spiritual connection.

I'm not *that* impatient, but I do believe I would draw the line before Mr. ChillyWilly here!

Osc.

 

[chlywly]

Originally posted by Oscar Wilde
I'm not *that* impatient, but I do believe I would draw the line before Mr. ChillyWilly here!

Osc.

Thats for intercourse, there better be a LOAD of foreplay making out, and oral sex during this time

 

[tx_xp]

It depends a lot on many factors, not just the 2 people but also what they expect of the relationship.

Having 10-15 dates + may be just fine in some relationships. I agree that women shouldn't use it as a carrot, in fact if she is doing that and you know it you should dump her because that means that she is otherwise ready and she is playing games. I think when the time is right you both know it and it happens. If it doesn't seem right then maybe it isn't.

If you are looking for a LTR then more dates may be better.

 

[MysteryWoman]

If I slept with the guy and had never heard from him again, it wouldn't have hurt me. Because I was only physically attracted to this guy, not infatuated with him. But it is something I wouldn't have wanted to do, simply because we are in the same Hockey club at a small university, and I wouldn't want to be gossiped about.

I am more bothered about when I meet a guy I am more intensely attracted to, I would be more upset than for this guy if he did this to me.

 

[Quick]

If a guy likes you for more than just your sex appeal, he will definitely hang around until you want to have sex, as long as it's in some sort of reasonable time frame.

It's true that having sex on the first date can lower a guys long term interest in you, because he could assume that you do that with everybody. Even to guys with more mature outlooks, we still don't want to think that our girl has had sex with everyone in the city. If you already knew the guy and he knows you, you should just have it whenever you feel ready. But if you just met the guy, i would definitely recommend that you go on a few dates and get to know him first. That'll make things better for both of you. He'll be confident that you're having sex because you like him as a person and not just because you screw every attractive guy you meet.

 

[Helter Skelter]

This is an easy question

If I'm really crazy about the girl, I can wait a long time because girls that I feel that way about, don't come around very often.
I've met two girls like that in my life and I'm 39.

If I don't like you that much I'm going to expect sex fairly soon because otherwise it's wasting my time.

So for me the more I like you the longer I can wait.