When do I stop ignoring her?

[Gameness]

This is regarding my ex girlfriend (8.5). We started dating about 2 years ago, we got together for a couple of months but we broke up when I left for a 2 month vacation in Brazil. During these last 2 years, we have been dating on and off, most of the time just as friends.


Recently I made the typical AFC mistake (even though I was aware of it the whole time) of being a super nice guy, giving her advice and taking care of her while receiving nothing in return. She had a boyfriend during this period and I stupidly agreed to be "just friends".

I talked to her about starting to date when she was single again and she agreed. A couple of weeks ago she turned single and I set up the date almost immediatly. She stood me up once, twice, and the third time I had enough and said screw it.



We haven't talked for about 2 weeks, and tonight she called me once and i didn't answer. She then texted me "Whats up? How are you?".

My question is, how long do I continue ignoring her? Should I wait a couple of days and call her back? Should I get back to her immediatly but make up an excuse why I can't see her?


Any advice is appreciated.

 

[joverby]

The obvious answer is "indefinitely." This relationship obviously didn't work out and I'm sure it wouldnt' work out again.

How do I know? Well, because there was a reason it failed in the first place. Secondly, she blew you off three times(why you tried again after the first? I'll never know)

Now in addition to this mess you want to know the best way to MANIPULATE the situation and play games....

Come on, dude. You've been here since 09' and you still haven't learned that waiting around for an EX GF to stop smashing pelvis's with another dude is probably the biggest b1tch move anyone's ever heard of? Letting her stand you up for 3 times...

Come on dude, get some dignity and tell her to take a hike.

 

[Gameness]

The obvious answer is "indefinitely." This relationship obviously didn't work out and I'm sure it wouldnt' work out again.

How do I know? Well, because there was a reason it failed in the first place. Secondly, she blew you off three times(why you tried again after the first? I'll never know)

Now in addition to this mess you want to know the best way to MANIPULATE the situation and play games....

Come on, dude. You've been here since 09' and you still haven't learned that waiting around for an EX GF to stop smashing pelvis's with another dude is probably the biggest b1tch move anyone's ever heard of? Letting her stand you up for 3 times...

Come on dude, get some dignity and tell her to take a hike.

Well when we broke up 2 years ago, it was almost completely because of me. I wouldn't let her get in the way of my dream to go to Brazil. While I was over there we broke up on the phone.

Well I think the book of pook, among other material is in essence about manipulating attraction since naturally most of us are AFC nice guys. It's nothing wrong with that, except that it's terrible with women.

I definitely acted like a b1tch and I was aware of it the whole time (I don't even know why I did it). But I would love to get to bang her again and that is why I am asking how I can maximise attraction out of her.


Is it wrong of me to get her back, on MY terms?

 

[joverby]

Well when we broke up 2 years ago, it was almost completely because of me. I wouldn't let her get in the way of my dream to go to Brazil. While I was over there we broke up on the phone.

Well I think the book of pook, among other material is in essence about manipulating attraction since naturally most of us are AFC nice guys. It's nothing wrong with that, except that it's terrible with women.

I definitely acted like a b1tch and I was aware of it the whole time (I don't even know why I did it). But I would love to get to bang her again and that is why I am asking how I can maximise attraction out of her.


Is it wrong of me to get her back, on MY terms?

You're line of thinking is so out-of-whack. You really need to take a step back, and re-read everything, apparently.

Listen to what you said "...we broke up 2 years ago, it was almost completely because of me. I wouldn't let her get in the way of my dream to go to Brazil."

Really? REALLY?!!? You're blaming yourself for not "letting her" get in the way of you pursuing dreams?

Come on, man. You said you read the book of pook yet your obsessing over some girl from two years ago still, that's blown you off 3 times already.

If you haven't learned that these things are wrong by now, I'm not sure you ever will.

Take a step back, let the emotions subside, re-read and re-evaluate yourself.

[Edit]: I missed this the first time. But, no. It wouldn't necissarily be wrong for you to bang her on YOUR terms. But here you are, back to square one. Back on these forums asking what advice to get your EX GF(Who's blown you off 3 times already) back!

Completely different scenario then her bangin on your door begging you to bang. What does everyone reccommend you do if chicks blow you off multiple times? NEXT!

 

[Gameness]

You're line of thinking is so out-of-whack. You really need to take a step back, and re-read everything, apparently.

Listen to what you said "...we broke up 2 years ago, it was almost completely because of me. I wouldn't let her get in the way of my dream to go to Brazil."

Really? REALLY?!!? You're blaming yourself for not "letting her" get in the way of you pursuing dreams?

Come on, man. You said you read the book of pook yet your obsessing over some girl from two years ago still, that's blown you off 3 times already.

If you haven't learned that these things are wrong by now, I'm not sure you ever will.

Take a step back, let the emotions subside, re-read and re-evaluate yourself.

I really should re-read/re-evaluate since I sense way too much estrogen in my self whenever she contacts me.

My idea before I made this thread was this. Text her back with a "i'm fine thanks, u?". And when she asks if I want to meet up, i'll ask her "as what? friends?". If she says yes, I'll tell her I have enough friends and bye. If she says something more, i'll tell her maybe and put her in line.

Bad idea I guess?

 

[st_99]

This is just silly, you are operating from such a beta perspective its not even funny. You need to rewire your entire thought process, its just ALL wrong. Sadly, I've been there.

 

[Gameness]

This is just silly, you are operating from such a beta perspective its not even funny. You need to rewire your entire thought process, its just ALL wrong. Sadly, I've been there.

Care to elaborate? You write out exactly what you are thinking on this site, something I would never do with a woman. Is that why you think I am beta?

 

[joverby]

I really should re-read/re-evaluate since I sense way too much estrogen in my self whenever she contacts me.

My idea before I made this thread was this. Text her back with a "i'm fine thanks, u?". And when she asks if I want to meet up, i'll ask her "as what? friends?". If she says yes, I'll tell her I have enough friends and bye. If she says something more, i'll tell her maybe and put her in line.

Bad idea I guess?

Translation = Do you like me?!!? Like, like me like me!?!?

You are all of the following:(and it's very bad for you.)

1.)Outcome dependant(Hence your post here)
2.)Low self value (Hence why you want to get with an ex)
3.)Seeking Validation (Your text asking on what terms)


I'm done posting here because I'm not sure if your a troll or not, I really hope your a troll but I'm thinking not based on your join date. If you really don't get what you're doing wrong, you are truly a lost cause.

Step the fvck back from this chick, let your emotions subside and re-read. That's all the more I'm telling you because you just keep ignoring it.

 

[Gameness]

Translation = Do you like me?!!? Like, like me like me!?!?

You are all of the following:(and it's very bad for you.)

1.)Outcome dependant(Hence your post here)
2.)Low self value (Hence why you want to get with an ex)
3.)Seeking Validation (Your text asking on what terms)


I'm done posting here because I'm not sure if your a troll or not, I really hope your a troll but I'm thinking not based on your join date. If you really don't get what you're doing wrong, you are truly a lost cause.

Step the fvck back from this chick, let your emotions subside and re-read. That's all the more I'm telling you because you just keep ignoring it.

Well number 1 goes for every single member on this site. If you don't ask, you don't learn. As for number 2, I want to bang her because she is attractive, it's not like I want to marry her.

Number 3 I agree with.

I've taken all your points into consideration, but I would appreciate some advice. All you are doing is pointing out what's wrong, not how to fix it.

 

[pdx1138]

Forget about her...focus on other women....there are plenty out there better and hotter than her.

Move along.....

 

[Zenboy93]

Leave her and find another chick, that's how you'll fix the problem...

 

[perseverance]

I wouldn't bother with her, why would you want to be with someone who has such a lack of respect for you that she stands you up, not one, not twice, but three times. That would be more than enough for me to walk away for good.

 

[Gameness]

I guess you guys are right. I have to forget about those glorious fun bags.

How about facebook? Delete her? Wouldn't that make me look like too emotional?

 

[perseverance]

Erase her from your life. Delete her facebook, delete her from your phone book.

 

[Aaron B]

ignore her until you are certain that you can establish and maintain the upper hand

 

[Htienvu]

How about make another date, then you don't turn up. So if she does turn up she gets crewed, payback! Then move on from there.

 

[st_99]

ignore her until you are certain that you can establish and maintain the upper hand

i like this answer.

 

[joverby]

i like this answer.

I disagree with you guys here. That type of mentality isn't productive. It would be a lot more healty (mentally) to just NEXT her, write her off, realize that there are better girls out there etc.

He should really move on.

 

[VinceV]

I sense way too much estrogen in my self whenever she contacts me.

Made me laugh. My vote goes for troll. I could be wrong though, wouldn't be the first time

 

[Aaron B]

I disagree with you guys here. That type of mentality isn't productive. It would be a lot more healty (mentally) to just NEXT her, write her off, realize that there are better girls out there etc.

He should really move on.

the fact is that IF (and this is a huge if) he learns now to deal with her effectively during the no contact period, that he has a huge advantage when she is chasing him (by initiating the subsequent contact)

period. this is the time he can get everything he wants from her. this is the time she will do all that naughty stuff in bed that seemed impossible before.

but if he's going to go back to his AFC ways, obviously he's better starting over with a new woman (but if he stays AFC he's going to f that up too, so what does it matter?)

i've observed that many times when a woman contacts a guy after a period of no contact that a "reset" has occurred and now she is in a place where she is willing to accept his frame and his premise and his leadership and his program, whereas before that she wouldn't give him the time of day

the key factor is, can this man make strong moves and wield the upper hand and have her jump thru his hoops? that's what we don't know