When do I bring up my vasectomy?

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I would not recommend disclosing a vasectomy in a lot of cases. Much of this depending upon your own goals in interactions and relationships with women.

Men who have vasectomies have a difficult time dating women in their 20s and 30s, who will often drop a man if they find out he has a vasectomy. This is even true if a woman isn't planning on having kids soon and/or the interaction is more casual than serious. Women do like to know that they could have a kid at some distant point in the future with the man who is having sex with them. It's possible to disclose a vasectomy for a woman who is plate status/casual sex only if she's 18-24 and it's totally casual, but I still wouldn't recommend doing that. Think about the typical 21 year old woman who is typically dealing with 21-25 year old men who usually don't have vasectomies. If a 21 year old woman finds out about your vasectomy as a 30+ guy, she won't know how to process that information and she might shut down and exit.

Men who have vasectomies have a narrower dating pool if they desire LTRs as a lot of women will drop a man for having a vasectomy on the basis that she wants a child someday. Also, vasectomies are permanent and condoms do allow for a man to have children eventually if he wants them.

Men with vasectomies get an advantage in dating single moms who don't want more kids. That's the largest group of women who see a man with a vasectomy as advantageous.

I didn't get a vasectomy because I didn't want to deal with shrinking my potential dating pool and deal with the potential issue of whether or not to disclose a vasectomy.

Childless single men who don't want kids have a narrow dating pool if they disclose that information so in no way is it advantageous to disclose. If a man doesn't have a vasectomy, he can say he's "open to kids" if he hasn't had a vasectomy and that's technically true.



Roosh wrote an article in 2010 called "American Girls Don’t Use Condoms Anymore"

American Girls Don’t Use Condoms Anymore » Roosh V

I'm shocked at the behavior of American women when it comes to condom use. Middle class white girls are, hands down, the dirtiest, filthiest type of girl I've

web.archive.org

The only thing on this that may have changed are laws surrounding abortion availability in the USA. Roe vs. Wade was overturned in June 2022 and each state now has different abortion laws. Even with the changes in abortion law, most women are using some form of birth control. Some women who don't want to use birth control now might be more insistent upon condoms.

That thinking of narrowing the dating pool is not putting yourself first.

"If she finds out, she will drop me" that can happen for many other reasons, if you wanna have a family then don't do it. If she's pushing you to have kids you're in her frame anyways, never gonna work cause you're the sperm donor when she has baby rabies.

Either way not an idea situation, it should be on your terms and whenever the fvck you wanna have kids.

If you don't wanna have kids, why disclosure the info about that?

 

[Murk]

I’m surprised at how many of you have had a vasectomy, I don’t know anyone irl that has.

 

[mikedee]

Not disclosing information she didn't ask for isn't lying.

Why would you randomly volunteer information that would hurt your chances of having sex with them? You aren't marrying the girl.

Most girls don't care about condoms, IMO. Can only think of one or two that made me put one on.

A girl you've just met and who doesn't care about you wearing a condom or not = major red flag

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A girl you've just met and who doesn't care about you wearing a condom or not = major red flag

Not really...once they are turned on enough they won't care.

 

[SW15]

If you don't wanna have kids, why disclosure the info about that?

A lot of women won't have sex with a guy who doesn't want kids ever but will have sex with a guy who is "open to kids".

I’m surprised at how many of you have had a vasectomy, I don’t know anyone irl that has.

I can't think of anyone I know IRL who has had a vasectomy either. My local area social circle is in the midst of impregnating their wives right now. So many babies in 2022 and 2023.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Yesterday, I was on my Instagram and saw a pregnancy announcement from an acquaintance's wife in my social circle. I don't particularly like her. I find it annoying to be around her the 1-2 times a year I ever randomly see her in person. Right now, there are 3 women from my local area social...

www.sosuave.net

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

A lot of women won't have sex with a guy who doesn't want kids ever but will have sex with a guy who is "open to kids".

Come on bro really? Imagine a woman asking a guy she just met at the club "hey are you open to have kids?"

 

[SargeMaximus]

After she tells you she’s pregnant with your kid

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

That's just another rule for who she considers beta, you open to have kids or no s3x. Or she has baby rabies, either way he's on her frame, no win situation.

I bet she didn't ask that to the hoy guy "she met at the foam cannon party in Mexico"

 

[SW15]

Come on bro really? Imagine a woman asking a guy she just met at the club "hey are you open to have kids?"

That's a ridiculous example.

The subject of having kids can come up during one of the first three dates though. I'm talking about dates arranged from any source: apps, social media DMs, in-person approaches (daygame or nightgame), or social circle.

 

[Macadellic]

OP,
When do women bring up their fertility?
When do women bring up the number of abortions they have had in their past?

What’s this in my back pocket?
Oh it’s the equality card

 

[FlirtLife]

Some men talk and share too much about about themselves.
...
(2) Anything you tell a chick, will be widely shared by her friends in the chick network. So unless you want everyone in the godd@mn world knowing you had a vasectomy then keep your trap shut.

Married men might also lack a sense of discretion. I've told a friend something and later explained to him that wasn't for all of his wife's friends. To which he said he has no secrets with his wife... That's one way of putting it.

 

[FlirtLife]

That's a ridiculous example.

The subject of having kids can come up during one of the first three dates though. I'm talking about dates arranged from any source: apps, social media DMs, in-person approaches (daygame or nightgame), or social circle.

On SoSuave, when did a one-night stand become "a ridiculous example"? Is that because you assume everyone here only has long term monogamaous relationships?

 

[corsica]

I like the idea of not telling a girl just so she would tell me she's pregnant. Imagine the horror.

I had a few of those but those cases were a s#it-test, just to see my reaction. A way to know if you're with her long-term. But having a vasectomy, I would pretend to be glad (oh, that's great honey) and if her belly indeed grows, I would find a way to get rid of that scumbag. Tell her I had a vasectomy.
- I had a vasectomy years ago. Nothing is 100% effective. I told my doctor, he told me to do some exams and there is no chance your baby is mine... so it's time for you to leave. TO THE STREETS YOU BELONG!

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I like the idea of not telling a girl just so she would tell me she's pregnant. Imagine the horror.

I had a few of those but those cases were a s#it-test, just to see my reaction. A way to know if you're with her long-term. But having a vasectomy, I would pretend to be glad (oh, that's great honey) and if her belly indeed grows, I would find a way to get rid of that scumbag. Tell her I had a vasectomy.
- I had a vasectomy years ago. Nothing is 100% effective. I told my doctor, he told me to do some exams and there is no chance your baby is mine... so it's time for you to leave. TO THE STREETS YOU BELONG!

I had it 1 year ago, and the freedom of not having a pregnant scares is fvcking great

 

[Divorced w 3]

My feelings are this, after having been burned in the past about being upfront :

1, you may be (unintentionally) looking for personal moral relief at the expense of upsetting her in a way you didn’t expect,

2, it’s reversible and therefore just get the procedure to unwind the process if warranted.

3, if she gets pregnant over the course of your relationship, lol

 

[SW15]

On SoSuave, when did a one-night stand become "a ridiculous example"? Is that because you assume everyone here only has long term monogamaous relationships?

In an approach at a bar, the topic of babies and openness to children won't ever be discussed. That's why I called that ridiculous.

The possibility of having children in the future should a relationship get to that level does often come up within the first 3 dates or the first month of a new relationship, if the frame/context of the interaction is a potential longer term monogamous relationship.

I can't imagine why this would ever come up in a casual dating scenario. If you are in a committed LTR where she discloses she really wants kids and wants to know if you want the same that is different. If you are just casually dating, there is literally no reason to ever disclose the information or even bring it up.

It wouldn't in casual dating. There is no reason to mention it in casual dating.

If you are in a more committed relationship, you may have to disclose it, but that is WAY down the line of time in an LTR in my opinion. You shouldn't be considering a child with a woman until probably at least the 1.5 year mark of a LTR until you have seen the honeymoon phase wear off (not that this is proof against her going crazy after birth anyway), but I can see the conversation being brought up well before that mark by the woman. I think you can realistically dodge it and not disclose it until at least 1 year - give or take a few months depending on the circumstances.

In a committed relationship, it would likely get discovered at some point. The subject about future desires for kids often happens earlier in the relationship. Men without vasectomies can say kids are a possibility because kids are a possibility without a vasectomy. Men with vasectomies will lose notches to women who desire to have kids in the future. This is more of an immediate issue with the 30-37 year old childless woman than anyone else but even younger, childless women who see themselves at least 5 years away from a first child might not be too interested in intentionally wasting 1-2 years with a guy with a vasectomy. They are likely to unintentionally waste those 1-2 years anyway for a variety of reasons, but knowing a man has had a vasectomy does take away the future possibility of children for women, and even an 18-25 year old woman is often not okay with that if she's looking for some sort of extended relationship.