When did the bar scene become so cliquey?

[Trenton]

man, it feels like you're walking into a house party! I remember in the late 90s early 00s you could actually spot some single girls looking to meet people. Now they're all in groups and it's hard to tell if they're with their BFs or not. what happened? I'm not gonna walk over and intrude on a group with guys in it. that's lame. It just seems like the logistics are a lot tougher.

thoughts/comments?

 

[evansblue]

You can thank Facebook for that. When a hottie goes to the bar, 2,500 people on her Friend's List will know about it.

 

[Night-hawk]

Look at it this way.

You have a table (social setting) full of tiny screws (guys, orbiters)...you place a magnet (girl) on the table, stationary, and some screws may start moving around, some getting a little closer.

Then, take that magnet and move it around (girl gives guys some attention), straight threw all those screws maybe slowing down a bit here and there but without the need to stop. What happens? All the screws follow, and attach to it and you gotta pry them off (rejection, friend zone) because there are new groups of screws to go through (status).

The screws aren't moving, or going anywhere, but the magnet (girl) moves around, knowing where it goes around the screws, the screws will attract.

How does this relate to you're question?

Start seeing girls as the magnet and all these guys as the screws. Ask yourself then, how can I flip the script on these girl by moving them with my magnetic attraction.

No matter what, girls will always have guys around them in one way or another. Yes, it is ideal to have many groups of single girls, and especially without dudes orbiting around...but, **** it.

 

[sstype]

man, it feels like you're walking into a house party! I remember in the late 90s early 00s you could actually spot some single girls looking to meet people. Now they're all in groups and it's hard to tell if they're with their BFs or not. what happened? I'm not gonna walk over and intrude on a group with guys in it. that's lame. It just seems like the logistics are a lot tougher.

thoughts/comments?

Yeah I notice this as well in most the bars I hit up. I attribute it to a few factors.

1. People in general have gotten more wary and distrustful of strangers post 9/11. Bars and clubs have a negative stigma attached as a place for men and women to "meet"

2. Facebook/texting has essentially eliminated a woman's motivation and need to meet men outside of existing social circles.

3. The mainstreaming of PUA has made women more afraid and wary of smooth talking casanovas. Before it used to be "cool" to be a player. Nowadays women have had more than enough wannabe rico suave's try to pick them up that they no longer want any guy at all trying to talk to them.


So while not impossible, it's gotten a lot more difficult for most guys to find short-term flings and ONSs than before.

 

[Night-hawk]

yep yep, I agree with the facebook/ Texting. Lots of girl's motivations for meeting guys...why? They already have all the attention they'd want on their phone and facebook. lol

 

[cablecow15]

This always frustrates me , Ive yet to think of a good way to combat it

 

[nismo-4]

You can thank Facebook for that. When a hottie goes to the bar, 2,500 people on her Friend's List will know about it.

And Myspace, Twitter, POF, OkCupid, and other sites!

Even if a girl is not a hottie, she'll still have a clique of guys around her.

As long as guys keep worshipping pu$$y, women will continue to raise the price of love and companionship.

The best countermeasure is to be really good looking and a millionaire.

 

[Deep Dish]

sstype:
1. People in general have gotten more wary and distrustful of strangers post 9/11. Bars and clubs have a negative stigma attached as a place for men and women to "meet"

2. Facebook/texting has essentially eliminated a woman's motivation and need to meet men outside of existing social circles.

3. The mainstreaming of PUA has made women more afraid and wary of smooth talking casanovas. Before it used to be "cool" to be a player. Nowadays women have had more than enough wannabe rico suave's try to pick them up that they no longer want any guy at all trying to talk to them.

There is only really one reason: the Paradox of Choice. The more options you have, the less happy you will be. You will become more selective, less satisfied with your options, bond less with your decision, or even make no decision at all. With every additional option, you have to do more research and comparisons, and your expectational demands will skyrocket while your satisfaction will plummet. I disagree 9/11 has affected the trust of meeting strangers in bars, but back in the late 1990’s people still actually had physical landline home phones rather than a cell phone, and we know how disruptive and option limiting were home phones. Women still desire smooth talkers but the proliferation means they are more likely to be already banging one (or if not then still the paradox of choice).

 

[loveorlust]

Most def... it's nothing like the movie bar scene, for sure. In the movies you see sone lone wolf sitting at the bar, having a drink to herself. The perfect scenerio. But in real life it seems like they're all in a group. Here's what you can do tho. Look for the girl in the group who isn't talking to any body. The "third wheel" of the group, then talk to her. Might be the only way. Good luck and all the best to you with the hottest women in the world.

 

[MrJibbles]

2. Facebook/texting has essentially eliminated a woman's motivation and need to meet men outside of existing social circles.

This. All this technology has led people, particularly girls, to live in a impermeable, digitized social bubble. Why bother putting in the effort to meet new people in real life, when you can just do it by typing a bunch of short phrases into your phone or on facebook? It requires less effort and gusto than approaching a person face-to-face. Naturally, people prefer to take the path of least resistance.

I find it sad. I can't count how many times I've been in a bar, club, or even Starbucks, and seen a bunch of people huddled around in a circle, completely silent, glued to the screen of their phones and not even socializing at all.