LJC said:
So I'm curious. How does one in a natural state working with minimal conscious effort recognize or differentiate a slip in "game" from the usual set backs that come with the territory?
Yo LJC,
I believe that the answer to the question you are asking lies within the first half of THIS statement that I made:
Mutual high interest level between a man and woman, but with the man always operating from the vantage point of POSITIVE masculinity.
Of course, I can't know for sure, but I suspect that both "slips in the game AND setbacks that come with the territory" are signs of THE BEGINNING of a guy losing interest in the woman he's with. Why do I say this? Because that old adage DOES have some truth to it:
Familiarity breeds contempt.
You mentioned that at times, it got TOO easy. Well, when ANY challenge gets too easy, we run the risk of becoming complacent---we start taking shyt for granted---because we STOP valuing it as highly as we used to, should have, or ought to. In other words we START losing our initially HIGH interest in the woman simply BECAUSE we think of her more as a CHALLENGE rather than as a "whole" person.
So therefore, due to pride and usually an out of control ego, OUR half of the mutual high interest "see saw" starts to get out of balance, and the relationship eventually falls to the ground---HARD.
The harsh reality is that we no longer see the woman as valuable enough to KEEP being the best we can be TOWARDS her. I believe it is our subconcious mind actually finding ways to PUSH the woman away----inspite of the fact that we claim to still want her ON THE SURFACE.
I still hold the belief that if we DID think MORE of the woman (at THAT point) that it would still be continuously reflected towards her by the amount of respect we show OURSELVES while we're in her presence.
Sometimes women can do things to lower OUR interest in them, and sometimes we lower OUR OWN interest in them all by ourselves. When the latter happens, I believe it is mostly the result of either UNREALISTIC standards we have set up for the woman to meet, OR it is because our motivations for "engaging" the chick were less than HOLISTIC from the beginning.
What I mean by that is this:
There is a societal mindset fueled by a testosterone-crazed (and ENSLAVED) male majority that HELPS to push men to view women ONLY as random targets for EJACULATIONS. For holding this world view, most men, and a ghastly number of women, routinely congratulate and award men who work to continually foster, maintain, and spread this mindset throughout most of the Western world.
Men receive multiple "pats on the back" when they tell their boys about all the women they fukk---but they get only a a lackluster response or ridicule for consistently, and HAPPILY fukking ONE woman. You see, in this society, the MORE women they fukk, the MORE accolades and positive reinforcement other guys give them. But the price a lot of guys pay in order to acheive the HIGH SCORE in Babe-Banging is that they are internally "altered".
In order to avoid the emotional upheaval that USUALLY comes from fukking multiple chicks and then leaving multiple chicks, while also trying to contnue to IGNORE the reality of the BONDING nature of the sex act, many men must, out of necessity, come up with ways to DE-HUMANIZE these women in their own minds.
Some even go so far as to make FEEBLE attempts to brand those men who DO continue to have a personal code of ethics as somehow "weak". But they do this ONLY to distract themselves from their glaring need for self-evaluation.
The road to desentization makes many twists and turns, but they all lead to the same deadend mindset:
The more successfully they can THINK of the woman as only a collection of body parts----a sex object ONLY---the better.
You see, THEN, the woman in question really isn't a woman at all in the end---she's just a target, a piece of territory (pusssy) to plant your flag on (in). She's just a conquest. And the interesting thing about viewing women as conquests ONLY, is that ONCE the battle is over----SO is the relationship, usually.
This is why, if a guy is actually open to eventually forging a lasting bond with a woman, I would not recommend that he embark on the path of just carelessly fukking multiple women. Dating, getting to KNOW multiple women? YES. But not necessarily fukking them all. Why? Because we are not little boys here in the Mature Man Forum, we are MEN. And AS men, we must admit to ourselves that EVERY piece of pusssy that's offered up to us IS NOT worth the bullshyt and drama that comes with it-----"AFTER THE LOVIN' ".
I'm sure we've all hooked up with a chick whereas the ejaculation that we had with her WASN'T worth the stalking charge and the restraining order that we had to put on her ass later. And the truth about what makes situations like this idiotic is that we KNEW the chick was kinda crazy BEFORE we hit it. lol
And the REASON we "hit it" was because we had successfully dehumanized her to SEX TOY status. But what sites like THESE don't usually tell you about is this risk of emotional DESENSITIZATION that can come with that kind of lifestyle. NOBODY talks much about this dark side of DJing because they like to PRETEND that it doesn't exist. But I know better...and so do they.
Because, if a man DOESN'T really have a holistic appreciation or attraction for a woman, the easier, the quicker, and the more likely he is to lose interest in her. Or take her for granted. Or find her boring---thus becoming boring to HER, himself.
Loss of interest breeds laziness. And laziness breeds apathy. Apathy breeds procrastination. And procrastination is BROTHER to the saboteur. This is a form of self-sabotage that many men engage in but either never see, or are reluctant to admit to.
Also:
Where's the line between becoming more of a challenge and self-sabotage? How would someone else avoid the downward spiral I had experienced?
This is a GREAT question, dude. I believe that the answer is simple, though. "Becoming more of a challenge" is what a man focuses on when his interest level in the woman is STILL high. While "engaging in self-sabotage" is what a man does when his interest is NOW low. That's the difference. I think THAT'S the dividing line. The answer to your quesion was IMBEDDED in your question itself. Think about it...
Also, the ONLY way I can think of to avoid the "downward spiral" into self-sabotage is to engage ONLY women that you have a high, yet realistic, AND holistic interest in.
Now that takes REAL maturity and self-control, now doesn't it?
Peace...one day.
