When are guys going to realise that...

[Mr Wright]

In order to get good at this, you need to go out because im pretty sure there are no women in your house that want to screw you! That means you need to grow some balls and leave because if you're not experienced in a social interaction it is ruddy scary, so i understand why you want to hide away.


Dont sweat the little things because it really doesnt matter whether she flicked her hair or if her knee moved to a 90 degree angle to the left or if she looked at you for 2.3 seconds(does that mean shes interested?) The matter of fact is on forums, guys can only help you so much because you're in the interaction, its you who knows whats going on. When you're worrying about little things, you're just going to get lost inside your head and the interaction isnt going to be that great because you're not fully committed to it.

What you want to develop is a good sense of vibe, you know when you meet someone and they're just so happy with themselves that it infects you. You can tell that they dont really care what you think about them because to them, their little world is so perfect that even you kinda sucked into it. Its called being magnetic and that is attractive in case you never realised. Its also about knowing who you are, like the other day in an interaction with a chick she spent the first 20 minutes basically calling me gay. Anyway I gave her number, she called me the next day to invite me out, we drank for about an hour and she dragged back to her place...done. I could have got all up in my ego and been like, this chicks calling me gay, im not taking that IM A MAN! But what i realised was, she was just really bad at flirting.


You have to motivate yourself sorry bro, but sexylegs78 off the forum cant provide you with motivation everyday, you have to help yourself. Oh and yes you have to motivate yourself everyday, otherwise once it wears off you're back to square one. I look at my life, which is good, i love it but i know it can be better, so that is my motivation everyday to make sure i move forward everyday. Lots of guys get motivated of something like a video once then go out and have not that much success then slump back into their old ways, when the truth is, if you've gone out, you've already won, you've moved forward. A marathon is completed a mile at a time, see the little victories.

Being happy is more important than women if getting validation from women is the only thing that makes you happy, you've totally missed the point. If you have a bad night because you didnt get laid, you're unhappy, which means that external factors are still affecting your life. But if you do everything by yourself and for yourself. Constantly being negative wont do you any favours, so view the positives even from a pretty disastrous situation. Like the other day, i was with my friends and literally had a girl scream at me and threaten to hit and some guy coming over getting heated because of a little mix up and i got thrown out, but i just saw it as a chance to meet some new chicks and i did, no sweat.


"Hi" is better than nothing Guys are so worried about getting the perfect super opener, when you can just go and say hi with a cheeky smile on your face and she'll get it. I cannot remember most of the first things i saw to girls because its such a minor part of the interaction. So if you cant think of the funny opener that some other guy posted, how about go with something that feels natural, like "hi" or even "hey" :O crazy times!

Women are not aliens im not going elaborate, but stop treating them like some alien being which cannot be understood.

 

[scribblec]

pretty much straight out of bang

the whole vibe thing is right and this is all true

 

[st_99]

Women are not aliens

This is the only part that is not true. Everything else is spot on though.

 

[Iceberg]

I especially agree about "Sweating the little things".

It kills me when guys come on here talking about "When I talk to this girl, her pupils dilate, she crosses her legs, flicks her hair, and she looks away from me. Does she like me?"

I'm like, dude...just ask her out for a drink. By the time you're done reading these imaginary secret code signals from the girl, she'll have been married to someone else and bearing her 4th child. Ask her out, get the "yes" or "no", and move on with life. Stop living in your own head. You're trying to get a girl, not invade the beaches of Normandy.

 

[thevilittletroll]

your first paragraph is absolute 100% right on the money and the total bottom line. to get good you must go out into the field and practice, try and learn new techniques, and practice, practice, practice. learning to pick up chicks is just like working out, you cant go from being a scrawny punk one day, read a book, and the next day turn into a body builder. it takes a lot of hard work and practice. it also works in reverse too. once you get good, you still have to keep you skills sharp by practicing. even mr olympia will get fat and out of shape if he stops working out.

 

[Rhino]

Good post, but understanding the theory behind what you're going out and practicing never hurts either.

 

[Doctrine Dark]

I agree with all of that.

Lack of motivation is my biggest problem. I feel the motivation mentally, but don't know how to actually put it into play.

 

[Mr Wright]

I feel the motivation mentally, but don't know how to actually put it into play.

Let the feeling of motivation be a trigger for you to go out. You know when you feel all hyped and want to get talking to some girls, thats when you go and do it.

If you dont feel comfortable actually approaching women, just go to a venue, get used to the environment and maybe just speak to guys or whatever. Do that a few times, then maybe talk to a few women but dont really hit on them. Then slowly increase it until you're going out socialising and attracting women; this isnt an overnight process, it will take time but its once you see those small results it will encourage you to go out more and improve.

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Lack of motivation is my biggest problem. I feel the motivation mentally, but don't know how to actually put it into play.

I found that the best solution to this, bar none, is finding a group of guys that will motivate you.

I'm one of the heads of my local lair. Being in this group has accelerated my game like nothing else I've ever done before. Many of the group members have expressed similar feelings to me. It's excellent for motivation to go out and it will FORCE you to get better (after all, it's really annoying when you see your wing getting better, while you're not improving). It's a bit of a friendly competition.

Also, if you find a good lair, there will be guys of all skill levels there, from the advanced to the beginners. Thus, you'll be able to find guys on your level that you don't feel pressure (of ruining their sets) with and you could improve together. On the other side, you'll find advanced guys that are more than willing to take you under their wing and teach you how to master The Game.

Beware of the for-profit groups though. Our group is completely non-profit and will stay that way as long as I'm around

 

[giantmecharobotnerd]

women sure do have high standards