When a girl

[smtimex]

flakes but asks for a raincheck, what does that say about her IL? Reason seems somewhat legitimate but you can never be certain.

 

[BlakeW5]

Things come up man. Chances are she was being honest, she did ask for a raincheck.

Try again. Let this encounter be the scale you judge her on. If she flakes this time around her IL isn't as high as you thought it was

 

[Effington]

Well, if there was no interest at all, she wouldn't try to reschedule. So it says the interest level is higher than zero. Beware, though, the trademark move of the AW is to keep stringing you along, making dates and breaking them.

 

[Pathgen]

Its cool once, it happens to the best of us. Maybe not if she totally ditched me for hours with no information as to why she didn't show. Twice, im gone for good. Thats my general rule because i dont beleive that coincidentally two things came up back to back when we had a date planned

 

[Jeffst1980]

Don't go crazy trying to analyze IL after every encounter. If you just met this girl, her IL is NOT going to be sky high unless she's got some serious issues. "Confident Persistence" has been defined on this site as the DJ way to handle flaky girls (really, all girls), and I like that idea. Basically, if she's returning your phone calls and not flat-out rejecting you, then you have no reason to doubt yourself or, worse, get angry at her. Just ask her out again next week or so. This sends the message that you are so confident with what you bring to the table that you can't even ENTERTAIN the notion that she doesn't want the OPPORTUNITY to hang out with you.

In the end, most quality girls WILL require you to pursue them a bit. Doing so CONFIDENTLY does NOT make you AFC.

 

[get1]

The highest quality girls I've been with generally flake and seem to think its acceptable behaviour because guys condition them to time and time again. They flake - guy begs for a rain check so they don't seem to see it as a big deal. In terms of interest levels there is obviously something there but I know a lot of high quality girls flake to test your security and so on. So your reaction to the flakey behaviour is important. If they cancel just before the catch up I usually say look that fine but in future tell me in advance because I could have seen a lot of other people today or something similar. the key here is to demonstrate high status but never lose your cool or show you care too much. Then if she offers a rain check say, sure but i'm really busy next bit but you'll give her a call. build the attraction up so when you make your next plan she won't flake because she is so lucky to be seeing you. if you appear to be available anytime she'll flake again and again and even if there was attraction to start with it will lessen. Another alternative could be that there is external factors, i.e. boyfriends, periods, etc that cause the flake...point to this is that it is pointless to take it personally or think too much about it.