When a girl you like tells you she met someone

[DonJuanabe]

How will you react? If you're spinning plates you shouldn't care. If you're not spinning plates you probably will care so you should start spinning plates. That said, the ONLY way you can keep her as a potential future GF/friend with benefits/whatever is to be positive and happy for her. You tell her that's great that she met someone she likes. You don't whine about how you're better than someone else. You don't argue with her. You don't disagree. You must be positive and not in any way hurt by this information. Internally you might be disappointed but you must not let that show. Then you need to start spinning plates. Sure, every few months invite her to something as a friend, maybe you're having a housewarming party or something, just to keep in contact if you feel like it but do not wait for her -- your life must keep moving forward.

 

[DonJuanabe]

NC is fine but the moment when she tells you she met someone you will have a reaction -- that reaction must be positive regardless of how you feel. When you're gone go ahead and be angry, sad, disappointed, etc. but don't let those emotions out in front of her. People break up all the time so you don't want your last interaction with the girl to be negative. Maybe 6 months later she sends you an email -- that won't happen if you appeared weak or needy when she last saw you.

 

[DonJuanabe]

That's a fair reaction but that doesn't mean you would plead with her or argue with her, right? You'd say something as you get ready to walk away or hang up the phone so it should be positive and show that you are not hurt by what she said. It would be weird to simply turn and walk or *click* in response to her statement.

Believe me though, I do understand your point, since I've been there and it sucks but one eventually gets over it.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Any girl I am interested in knows it. And if i'm interested in a girl then that by default means she is also interested in me. The last thing I would do is pretend it didn't even bother me. What if she is sh!t testing you and you just showed her low IL? Would I completely stop being her friend? no. Would I get pissed and say something about it? yes! I'm not an unconditional friend and I want that to be very clear to any girl I hang with. Your no chopped liver bro, if your disappointed in her let her know dude! And if this girl doesn't like you the same way you like her then you need to accept this and stop regarding her like a potential mate. Or just go NC but don't avoid her, if she asks just tell her you had feelings for her and were disappointed and see what she says. Always be civil, but never passive.

Now what does this attitude accomplish?

It makes your intentions loud and clear. (No friend-zoning here)
It pushes those that are playing games with you farther away.
It brings those sincere with your feelings closer.
It proves your not some chump willing to accept anything just to be her friend.

If you are not honest with your feelings and your friends you are only building up a reputation for yourself that is not the real you. So you are going to have to live this life where through gritted teeth you are accepting the actions of others you don't agree with. It's your life dude you are the ruler, judge and jury.