When a girl infiltrates a guy's group of friends

[REPEM]

Girl is somewhat of a tomboy. Infiltrates her male targets group of friends. Befriends everyone and becomes "one of the boys". Then starts dating the male target. Girl loses touch with her own group of friends and always hangs out with new group (including bf). Guy isnt allowed guys nights. Nope, she must be included now too.

I know it's good for your gf to be on friendly terms with your friends, but when she's basically one of the guys too, is this a bit weird? shouldnt there be boundaries?


personally i like to get to know each other first, then slowly introduce her to some friends, maybe bring her to a party or two after i get to know her, but i would certainly want some boundaries to be there. I would want my own space so she isnt always around.

is it better to have all the same group of close tight knit friends, or is it better to have separate groups of friends? when a girl tries getting in with your group, should you set boundaries or let her in?

 

[ForAllThat]

Keep her out.

 

[REPEM]

It always seemed weird to me. Like the girl might have an ulterior motive. Is she seeing me because she likes ME, or because I brought her into a group that gave her a social life?

 

[Jblitz59]

Hang out with them separately. Sometimes you need a break from this girl and if she is always included with your group you will never have a break.

 

[Lexington]

Yup, keep girls separate. It should be so that when she breaks up with you, she also breaks up with your friends. It's a major red flag if a girl always wants to hang out with your friends. It makes you wonder why she doesn't ever want to hang out with her own friends.

 

[REPEM]

Yup, keep girls separate. It should be so that when she breaks up with you, she also breaks up with your friends. It's a major red flag if a girl always wants to hang out with your friends. It makes you wonder why she doesn't ever want to hang out with her own friends.

That's what I was thinking also.

 

[Effington]

As you mentioned, it's important that your friends get along with your girl and that you can all go out together. In my group of friends, we all bring our girls out together and have all made friends, and it's been great.

That being said, I also agree with you and the others when you mention it's important to have time away from her. Just because you're going out with the guys and she's friends with them, doesn't mean she has to come.

You can phrase this better by emphasizing that she should not burn bridges with her old friends, and encourage her to keep contact and go out with them from time to time.

I hope that helps!