"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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What's your take?

zoze

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New to this site and these boards but I must say I have gleaned alot of usefull advice and now I find I have an issue I thought I would run it by thye people here so here goes...

First of all this issue pertains to a woman who is/was simply a friend. We are not dating. I have known her for over a year. We spend no time together since she lives over an hour away and has two kids and a job...ect.

We email alot and IM, lately she has been unbelievable rude and childish at the drop of a hat. If I say something and she takes it the wrong way she will call me a jerk and simply log off! Well Ive decided that this is BS and since I get nothing from this "Friendship" Ive decided to just move along. My question is do I respond to her at all? Explain my actions or do I just dissapear?

She is very good looking so I never figured I had a shot and I think she has started seeing someone recently. But she almost acts like a jealous girlfriend.

Yesterday's drama came after I told her I would be to busy for the next few months to do anything with her, then BOOM!! But she does the same to me. If I dont make plans and wait for her I would do nothing?!

Personally I think she might have some conflicting felings about me that she wont dmit to but who knows. I certainly couldnt date this woman after how Ive seen her act lately.

So what's your take?

Thanks in advance!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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NewMan

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It's irrelevant what the reasons for her actions are.

If she's spoilt - then it's not the kind of person you want to to be with.

Actually - take away the fact that she's good looking - this chick will give you hell should you end up dating her. She's already going crazy on your a## - so what do you think would happen if you guys were dating????

Just move on. Don't even bother to explain - that a sign of weakness - because it's telling her that you want her to know what's bothering you in the hope that she will change something - or tell you "No I really want you".

This chick needs to wise up and act like a woman. It's not surprised she's single with a couple of kids.

So move on. Don't tell her why - just go about you business - and further to the point - it should be irrelelvant to you whether she acts like a spoilt kid and log's off or gives you a hard time.

YOU SHOULD BE CALLING HER OUT ON THIS SH#T SHE IS PULLING.
 

WestCoaster

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I'd at least take a break

You wrote this:

***************
We email alot and IM, lately she has been unbelievable rude and childish at the drop of a hat.
***************************

Big red flag there. If you want to maintain any kind of friendship/relationship, whatever, I'd at least pull back for awhile. Sounds like you're moving along nicely and having read your posts here, you're a fairly refined DJ.

Date some others or at least one other for awhile ... if she doesn't respond or responds rudely, she's not the one for you.

I was caught up in some gal miles away until I realized recently that she was using me for a job reference. I quit e-mailing her to see if she would contact me and she hasn't contacted me. My assumption on her was correct: she was using me.

Perhaps your friend will grow up ... it's not up to you to help her mature. But it is up to you to pull back for awhile.
 

Survivor

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Originally posted by zoze
We email alot ...
That right there is your problem in a nutshell.

I suspect that you're investing way too much time playing computer tag with a woman who you're supposedly "just friends" with.

The real issue isn't about her attitude or behavior. The real problem is your overinflated interest level in a woman who is unavailable.

Step back, gain control of your emotions and start investing more time with women in real life and not over the computer.
 

maranathaman

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True Colors...

No point in trying to figure-out why she's doing what she's doing.
the question is, would you want to continue in such a relationship? Hopefully not, therefore, don't expect her to change. She has shown her true nuttiness, so if it were me, I wouldn't waste anymore time on her when there are plenty of other fish out-there. When I was younger, and much more of an AFC, I would have tired to "make it work", blah, blah, blah...
The thing is, that life is way too short to waste your time on a be-atch who will only give you grief...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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zoze

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Thanks everybody,

There is alot of truth in what you all have said. Like I said Im done and my only question was do I explain myself to her. My instinct was to do so only because we have known each other for a year. If it were someone who I had known for a few weeks there wouldnt have been any question. But Im taking all your advice. Thanks again.

Actually looking forward to ending this nonsense!
 

FratAndDiddy

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in my opinion, she's already summed you up and has her on opinion of you.
so, you owe her no explanation other than i should've quit talking to you a long time ago.
 
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