What's your take on this, guys?

[Die Hard]

I met a girl at the club, danced/grinded with her and did a quick kiss close before I had to leave.
We exchanged numbers, have been texting daily and set up a meet for next week.

What I'm wondering about, is the specific pattern in her texting behavior:

1. She always texts me around the same time in the evening.
2. We only exchange around two texts per evening, then she just doesn't respond to my last message (although I can see her online afterwards). Next evening (always around the same time), she will respond to my last message. Again, we exchange a few texts and she suddenly doesn't respond to my last text, until the next evening...

It's been going like this for 3 or 4 days.


So what are your thoughts about this? It doesn't make me worry about her interest level, which appears to be high from her behavior when we met and also from the CONTENT of her messages (she acts very interested and positive in her messages). But if a girl is this strict in her "code of conduct", what does that indicate?

 

[Shaka]

that she is living with her boyfriend.

 

[compleks]

^haha

Do NOT message every day. Do NOT respond immediately.
She has you hooked and she knows it. She is in control.

If you set up a date already then you should stop contacting her.
Send her a message a few hours before you are supposed to meet, tell her you might be running a little bit late and that she should try and hold back the tears or something like that.
If she flakes on you, then cut her off.

 

[Desdinova]

What I'm wondering about, is the specific pattern in her texting behavior:

The one thing I've learned about women is you cannot judge their personality or interest by their texting behaviour. The only thing you can figure out is if they're glued to their phone or not, and if their interest is low, then even that isn't accurate.

The only way to truly gauge her interest is to set up a date and see how she interacts with you in person.

The girl I've been seeing for the last 3 months messages me on average about twice a day and usually takes forever to respond. When she's in my company, her IL is obviously sky-rocket high. She generally puts her phone down somewhere and ignores it which is NOT a bad thing.

 

[samspade]

The manosphere has so stereotyped women as phone-addicted that when a girl doesn't blow up your phone with texts it seems weird. Some women just aren't heavy texters. Some are also "game aware" when it comes to texting.

Whatever the case, always remember the 2/3 rule. So if she's sending 2 texts a day, dial it back in frequency and response time to roughly 2/3 of her rate. I would worry less about what her frequency indicates (probably nothing) and more about your in-game adjustments. Otherwise if you're the one wondering what she's up to etc. it will hurt your frame and mindset.

 

[Desdinova]

always remember the 2/3 rule. So if she's sending 2 texts a day, dial it back in frequency and response time to roughly 2/3 of her rate.

I quit using numbers when it comes to seduction techniques. It just makes things more frustrating. Since my gf isn't a heavy texter, I just use it for necessary communication such as setting up dates and requesting specific information. If I start using fractions for how much I text her, I'd never have a date with her.

 

[samspade]

I quit using numbers when it comes to seduction techniques. It just makes things more frustrating. Since my gf isn't a heavy texter, I just use it for necessary communication such as setting up dates and requesting specific information. If I start using fractions for how much I text her, I'd never have a date with her.

It's not meant to tax your brain with mathematics. It's a simple rule of thumb. Return communiques on a ratio less than what you receive - simple as that. Not including texts as a matter of practicality (where/when etc.).

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Diehard,
Yeah Sam has it right she just doesn't live on her phone,this is her style...its just her thing...At somepoint in any conversation someone has to stop the banal game...perhaps you are like Stalin?at the close of his speeches to the party faithful,it was a brave fellow indeed who was the last to stop clapping...A Western observer once recalled such applause going on for 22 Minutes LOL.

 

[Die Hard]

Some are also "game aware" when it comes to texting.

So when a girl is more "game aware" than other girls when it comes to texting, what could that indicate about her, according to you?


Edit: Whatever... I already know the answer to my own goddamn question. Thanks for the replies anyway, guys.

 

[zekko]

So when a girl is more "game aware" than other girls when it comes to texting, what could that indicate about her, according to you?

The first thing that comes to mind is that she is very "experienced". Or maybe she just read a book, like "Think Like a Man" or something similar.

Regarding the 2/3 rule, yeesh, do you guys really walk around worrying about sh!t like that? Kudos to you, I guess, for attention to detail. I just text if I want to, and won't if I don't. In the case of the OP, if I wasn't getting replies back, I probably wouldn't even bother at all.

 

[samspade]

Regarding the 2/3 rule, yeesh, do you guys really walk around worrying about sh!t like that? Kudos to you, I guess, for attention to detail.

Yeah, it's pretty hard... See my post earlier about it being a rule of thumb.

But this is a digression from the main point, which is not to sit around wondering about her. Bad for the mindset.

 

[Die Hard]

Update...

Turns out this girl is NOT going along with the social media hype. Until recently, she only used WIFI and therefor would only check/send WhatsApp messages at certain times. So now she got herself a data bundle for her phone but she still tries to limit her time on WhatsApp, she doesn't like the idea that people expect her to be "available" all day long, people can see at what time she was last online etc. So she consciously tries to stick to checking/sending messages even now. She does this with everyone, friends, family, guys...
Actually, I kinda like it. She also dislikes Facebook and thinks it's stupid how much time people spend on there etc.

She's a typical "good girl", perhapsa bit too good, for my taste... Hardworking, gets up at 6, works with kids all day and goes to bed early... She's always worked hard, worked her way from the lowest level of education we have in my country to the highest, just by perseverance. Don't really know why she started that low coz she makes quite the intelligent, intellectual impression on me.

Hasn't had much experience with guys, never had a true relationship. The longest she has "dated" a guy for, was four months or so. Seems a bit long for "dating", so I asked her did she have sex in those months. Nope, they didn't get that serious yet, she says... But if that's the longest she's hung out with a guy and it didn't come to sex there, then did she ever have sex with a guy at all? I tried asking her and she told me I was getting a bit too personal/direct with my question, lol. I told her she didn't have to answer and then she said: "Let's just leave the question open..." So yeah, I'm pretty sure she's still a virgin.

Her clothing style could be described as simple and modest. Not sexy at all, so kinda boring, if you ask me... She's just very "decent". The movie Wolf of Wallstreet came up and she told me she had laughed so hard about it, but she also made it clear that this was not a movie she would typically watch. I asked her why and she replied that she was kinda put off by the harsh way the people in that movie treat each other and the high degree of sex in it. I mean, seriously?!

It doesn't seem to be an act, she really seems to be all of the above. From all this, I would've expected her to be religious but she isn't. Anyway, I have no idea what to do with her... She looks okay but isn't hot. I'd give her a 6.5 or maybe a 7... I enjoy making out with her and would enjoy sex with her, but it's not like I'm burning with desire for her.

She is really into me and I feel very comfortable with her. We can talk for more than three hours straight without getting bored... She has a lot of good qualities, I think she would make a very good wife. I wouldn't worry for a moment about her cheating on me or having contact with other guys. I have bad boy elements to me that attract HB8+ club sluts, and her being such a decent girl, I can see she's impressed by me and hasn't had a guy like me before. I don't have to try to be dominant over her, I just naturally am. I almost feel like I have to hold back because she might be intimidated by me if I started to act like my real self...

To cut things short: All those things about the typical modern day woman that we complain about in most of the threads on SoSuave, she doesn't have them (as far as I can see).

But there's a flipside, consisting of 2 problems:

1. She's attractive but she isn't HOT. Like I said, I enjoy making out with her and would like to fvck her, but I would probably lose interest in sex with her after a while...

2. She exposes weak spots inside of me... She's understanding and caring, which makes me kinda uncomfortable. If as girl gets too close to my feelings, I feel vulnerable and will push her away. Kinda the same mechanism that works inside BPD bytches... If you love them, they'll hate you for it, you know? I've always had the unconscious habit of screening women for physical beauty and if they rate high enough on that scale, I convince myself that it's acceptable to let her get closer to me. As if it's safer...
Well, the girl from my last serious relationship was goddamn hot but as we got closer to each other, I felt like pushing her away just the same...

It mixes me up. A guy can't keep shutting himself off and just go for sex and superficial interactions with girls FOREVER, right? I already feel like ending things with this girl coz I just want to be ALONE FOREVER and have no one be a part of my private life... I feel better that way, just leave me the fvck alone, lol.

But she's good, you know? I see PairPlusRoyalFlush breaking up with his girl coz she disrespected him and now deciding to go after a Christian girl, coz they might have some more quality. I believe my girl fits that image, although she isn't religious. You know who she reminds me off a lot? Rocky Balboa's wife, Adrian... She's just good and I know she could have a good influence on me and my life, be supportive etc. If I was willing to open up to the possibility...

Right now, I just can't figure out what's the real reason for the feelings of reluctance I hold towards her. Am I simply feeling uncomfortable coz she's getting closer to my feelings or is it that I don't want to go for a girl who looks "okay" instead of "hot"? Or a combination of the two?

It opens up the idea that I could find myself a "good" woman to build a stable life with, perhaps have a family with one day, and have hot sluts on the side to fulfill my sexual needs... Which is morally objectionable and I'm not sure I would be able to act like such an *******, lol. But the total package of a hot and sexy girl who's also a good "life companion" is hard to find. I might NEVER find that, so...

I feel troubled and confused...

 

[G_Govan]

I obviously don't know this girl but in my opinion, you're reading too much into what she's telling you.

Keep paying attention to her "actions" like it seems you've been doing. When your gut tells you something is off, it's usually right. It's far too easy to hear an explanation that sounds comforting, only to later get gut-checked because you threw logic aside and went with your feelings.

If you get what you want out of this in a timely fashion I don't see anything wrong with her. Women are naturals at gaming men, don't forget that.

 

[Desdinova]

Turns out this girl is NOT going along with the social media hype. Until recently, she only used WIFI and therefor would only check/send WhatsApp messages at certain times. So now she got herself a data bundle for her phone but she still tries to limit her time on WhatsApp, she doesn't like the idea that people expect her to be "available" all day long, people can see at what time she was last online etc. So she consciously tries to stick to checking/sending messages even now. She does this with everyone, friends, family, guys...

See? You cannot judge a woman by how frequently she texts you. My gf is the exact same way.

She's a typical "good girl", perhapsa bit too good, for my taste... Hardworking, gets up at 6, works with kids all day and goes to bed early... She's always worked hard, worked her way from the lowest level of education we have in my country to the highest, just by perseverance. Don't really know why she started that low coz she makes quite the intelligent, intellectual impression on me.

Don't discount a woman because she's responsible. You may have a nice gem here.

Hasn't had much experience with guys, never had a true relationship. The longest she has "dated" a guy for, was four months or so.

Let me tell you about the last woman I had a (good) LTR with... She had never dated any guy for longer than 6 months. Me and her were together for over a year. Remember, there's a lot of AFCs out there, and some women will tolerate the smell of them more than others. With how feminized today's society has become, confident and masculine men are becoming more of a rarity. If you're nothing close to an AFC, she'll stick with you.

I asked her did she have sex in those months. Nope, they didn't get that serious yet

If she's in her early 20s, she's probably low-mileage. That's a huge bonus.

Her clothing style could be described as simple and modest. Not sexy at all, so kinda boring, if you ask me

Next time she goes clothes shopping, go with her. Women will take your suggestions to heart. If she's resistant with trying stuff on, just tell her there's no harm in trying something different. If she trusts you, she'll go with it.

she also made it clear that this was not a movie she would typically watch. I asked her why and she replied that she was kinda put off by the harsh way the people in that movie treat each other and the high degree of sex in it. I mean, seriously?!

Your description of this chick is giving me a woodie. She sounds incredibly feminine and respectable. Do you know how rare that is in today's society?

From all this, I would've expected her to be religious but she isn't.

She's not a nutty over-zealous Christian either? FVCKING AWESOME

I enjoy making out with her and would like to fvck her, but I would probably lose interest in sex with her after a while...

Remember that women are like dogs. You can train them once they begin to trust you.

She's understanding and caring, which makes me kinda uncomfortable.

That's what a naturally feminine woman is supposed to do

I already feel like ending things with this girl coz I just want to be ALONE FOREVER and have no one be a part of my private life

If you're gonna throw her away, mail her to me. I'll gladly take that off your hands.

I think you're biggest problem is that you're used to the typical American trash that has dominated the female gender, and have adapted to a way of life that work with it. Then you come across this chick who presents a bundle of qualities that you've never encountered. Tie that in with how the typical American marriage goes down the toilet. I can't blame you for being hesitant to keep what appears to be a good woman. I'm also hesitant of being open to the possibility of living with a woman or even having kids with her. I have my own space all to myself that I've built up over years, I love it, and I don't really want someone else fvcking it all up with their 5hit. But that's always a possibility when you enter a LTR. There will come a point where you'll need to make a decision to conquer a new milestone, and it's going to be scary as fvck to try something different and new. Embrace the unknown instead of avoiding it. If all else fails, you'll have some new experience under your belt.

 

[samspade]

She sounds like a pretty good woman. She kind of sounds like my ex, who at first I thought was "too good to be true" and kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did and yes I was comfortable being vulnerable around her from time to time (I just didn't let it turn me into a wuss). She's my ex for other reasons of course, mainly that I didn't want a lifelong LTR. But it was a great time. "The Wolf Of Wall Street" - my ex would have hated that movie haha and never watched violent movies either.

And about cute vs. hot - I honestly like the cute/attractive girls that go wild in bed. Yes I love "hot" women but I think there's nothing better than a sweet, wholesomely attractive girl who's subservient and feminine. BUT you have to let your boner be your guide here.

I agree with Des, you're used to typical female garbage and aren't sure if this one is for real or not. Time will tell but why not give her a chance? Go with the flow for a while, you'll know if any "red flags" pop up and anyway you have us to help you.

 

[Longshot]

Her initial reactions/messaging resemble my current girlfriend's method at the outset, and I have to tell you, she turned out to be a good woman that knows what she wants; even on the third meet she showed up at my place one early morning, saying "I'm here and taking you for breakfast." Of course people change over time especially as they progress in their relationships, but as long as you keep up the interest and being genuinely laid-back, honest, and above all, a real dude, if she is on the same page, woah... sounds amazing. All the best, brother.

 

[Die Hard]

Thanks for your thoughts, guys.

I've calmed down a bit, lol. But still feel uneasy...

I'm just gonna take it slow and see how things develop. We've had two dates now and have talked A LOT during those meetups, both of us feeling at ease to be very open with each other. So there's this bonding process that's going unnaturally fast and I don't like it, time to take it down a notch. Which is a good course of action in several other regards as well:

1. She's going to travel in Asia for three weeks and will be departing two weeks from now. Better move things slow till she comes back.
2. I noticed after the first date that she was really getting into me and was eager to meetup a second time. After the second date, this has only become stronger, also INITIATING texts now etc. Puts me in a good position, she's chasing after me and my attention. So let's not indulge her and not be too available to her

So I'll meetup with her a third time somewhere this week and just go with the flow. I find that I'm questioning myself a lot:

Do I think she is handsome enough?
Do we really get along well or does it just feel like that because we're being very open in our conversations?

And a bunch of other questions like that... As if I have to consciously DECIDE these things, while of course the truth is that you simply find someone handsome enough or not and you simply get along with someone or not. You don't DECIDE those things, they just...ARE.

So I need to slow down this urge to think about these matters. I'll just go with the flow, just go from one date to the other and see how I like it. In between those dates, I'll try not to bother myself with thoughts about her at all.

Oh, and I'll spin more plates, lol. Why did no one give me this excellent advice yet?

 

[Zarky]

Date more women.