"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
What's your opinion on cheaters?
- Thread starter Lutz
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
If they have serious repurcussions they can change. IE: going to jail, all friends turn on them, etc. Otherwise they get worse.
Two of my non-negotiable immediate disqualifications`from emotional investment--ever. Seriously dude, you know better or else you wouldn't be asking.
Look, I get it. Been in almost the exact situation. You think she only cheated with you because you're so awesome--and you're feeling like the alpha of alphas and your ego doesn't want to deal with the fact that you're probably dealing with someone who isn't emotionally/mentally stable (thus invalidating the validation that feels so damned good right now--to the extent that you're trying to rationalize the prospect of keeping her around). That's real talk--do what you're gonna do but promise to update this thread so that others can learn
On another note (in a more general sense), every girl will cheat in the right circumstance--but the specificity of those circumstances will vary widely from girl to girl (and a considerable percentage of girls won't ever have all those factors align and actually go through with it). Lots of girls. I'd find one who has no history of cheating.
blind_one
Master Don Juan
At some point in time I was morally against it ( If I am aware she is with someone else ). But right now I feel that if its not my cawk, she will find some other.
BeTheChange
Master Don Juan
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Yep 100%. Problem is there are so many beta cucks out there that more than often these women face almost no consequence to their actions and so it subconciously reinforces the notion that it's ok. This is why they get worse.
Even I am guilty of this to some degree. Had strong suspicions that my ex was at the very least texting another guy(s) because she had done something similar a year earlier but I let it slide - huge mistake. Fast forward to recent times and I was not going to sacrifice my pride and allow myself to be cuckolded like a fagg0t so pulled the trigger. You can't just be angry for a few days and take them back. You have to let these h0es pay by ensuring you discard them like the trash they are and move on to better prospects.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Dhoulmagus
Banned
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It's a person I've known for a long time whom I've had several flings with. First one was about six years ago on her first husband. Most recently was the past few months on her current bf. About six times. And that's just with me. I'm not sure what else she has done in the past.Two of my non-negotiable immediate disqualifications`from emotional investment--ever. Seriously dude, you know better or else you wouldn't be asking.
Look, I get it. Been in almost the exact situation. You think she only cheated with you because you're so awesome--and you're feeling like the alpha of alphas and your ego doesn't want to deal with the fact that you're probably dealing with someone who isn't emotionally/mentally stable (thus invalidating the validation that feels so damned good right now--to the extent that you're trying to rationalize the prospect of keeping her around). That's real talk--do what you're gonna do but promise to update this thread so that others can learn
On another note (in a more general sense), every girl will cheat in the right circumstance--but the specificity of those circumstances will vary widely from girl to girl (and a considerable percentage of girls won't ever have all those factors align and actually go through with it). Lots of girls. I'd find one who has no history of cheating.
She is on mood stabilizers and sees a therapist. Even tells me from the beginning that she's crap at relationships because she always manages to hurt people in some way, acknowledging her issues. Kind of like a "when a person tells you what they are, believe them the first time", sort of deal.
Her and talked about dating, she even brought up the convo proposing that we do, and that she'll leave him if I want to. I say yes we should. Huzzah, we are officially dating...for less than a week.
She tells me after 5 days that she misses the ex more than she thought she would. She also lied to me about seeing him the night before her and I have this talk because I know he was at her house from a buddy telling me he saw the guy walk in. Told me, straight to my face, that they had only said four words to each other and had not seen each other at all. I would be a fool to think they didn't do anything. So, I thought, foolishly, that I was exempt from her behavior, but it's like a pattern she repeats. This is someone I've known for 15 years. Telling me a bald faced lie.W e weren't dating for a week.
Needless to say, she tells me she wants to get back together with him. I tell her that's too bad and that I am not sure I ever want to see her again. I felt like that was the best thing for me to do because this isn't the first time she's hurt me. Heck, this isn't the first time she's done this to a person in general. They say once a cheater always a cheater. It's true in this situation.
She called it from the beginning, though. She told me she was afraid to date because she was afraid we would end up hating each other. And she also told me putrightbthst she is crap at relationships.
So, yes, past history of cheating and mood stabilizers. Stay away.
KingBeef
Master Don Juan
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She can be "broken" out of her childish cheating habit but there must be repurcussions. Remove your leg of the table, any of your support and communication. That would be a repercussion. Also revealing her to others she is cheating on or stealing from. Will be other repurcussions. Cheaters can change but they have to pay for their actions.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Look western society is such now where women have no consequences for cheating... there is no shame and nothing happens to them. In fact, they are treated like heroines for taking back their sexuality. When women cheat it's the man's fault for not meeting her needs. If a woman was not raised in an environment where loyalty was rewarded and disloyalty was punished, her chances of cheating are very high.
Chances are if you are in a relationship with a woman... she HAS already cheated on you, and you don't know about it. I get hit on by married women all the freaking time... I can think of 3 right now right off the top of my head that if I put even a tiny bit of effort towards them, could have them. Of course, ignoring them only makes them want you more.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I have always lived by the mantra, if she will cheat with you, then what makes you so special that she won't cheat on you?
You've said this woman has said she is sh1tty in relationships.
You've said she is on mood stabilizers.
She has already lied to you and seen her ex.
Those are 3 huge red flags. They also aren't opinions, they are facts.
How does your coming into her life make her change her ways?
You may want her to change, but that is up to her, not you to be collateral damage whilst she may or may not be trying to change.
I'm not asking you to respond, just think about it honestly and reflect.
She sounds nuts so is probably making your head explode in the bedroom..
Mood stabilizers and cheating kind of go hand and hand don't they. It is an easy excuse for a girl who wants to blame her bad behaviour on anything except herself
Cheaters don't deserve the time of day. Do not waste your precious time money and attention on a cheater.
Girls on mood stabilizers are also to be avoided. Just say no.
I was dating this girl for a few months and things were going fine. Till we had a discussion on infidelity and she mentioned that she cheated once on her ex and had an affair with a married man for 6 months.
At that point i knew she's low quality and I would be crazy to invest any more emotions into this.
Remember guys, your happiness and peace of mind comes first.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.