What's your method for handling flaking?

[Slash Dolo]

And have you experimented with different methods if you feel you have nothing to lose? Like saying "I knew you'd flake, made other plans before, no biggie" to mess with them?

It's been a while but I was flaked on tonight. I asked her to pick a place because I wasn't familiar with the part of town she lives in (a mistake) and got no response the rest of the evening. Whoops.

How do you guys handle it? Probably been covered before but want some fresh takes.

 

[EverSure75]

If they flake and offer no reasonable excuse and no attempt to reschedule, I next her.

If they do the above and flake another time...I'm out.

 

[Glassguy]

When she texts (if she texts you) with an explanation AND a reschedule option, give it to her. Don't say anything to sound like an @ss or its over. Flake again, never respond to her.

 

[Von]

No respond or Np.... than try one last time... after that NEXT.... that's my method

 

[Bokanovsky]

And have you experimented with different methods if you feel you have nothing to lose? Like saying "I knew you'd flake, made other plans before, no biggie" to mess with them?

Whatever you do, don't say that, please. It won't "mess" with her, it'll just make her laugh at you.

The only way to deal with flaking is by not caring and nexting. Don't text her anything and delete her number. If she ever contacts you, don't respond.

 

[Poon King]

It all depends on the reason and how apologetic the woman is. If she is very apologetic then there is nothing to "handle". Just reschedule. If she is rude about it or waits until the last minute or does a "no show" then NEXT.

Its been several months since a woman has flaked on me. I'm usually the one that flakes these days. Not intentionally either, just busy. Its interesting to see how women different women handle it. I find that most become more submissive and friendly to me after a flake. Maybe because most men are so thirsty and desperate that they would move mountains to meet a woman they were interested in. So a man that flakes obvious has options. Try it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If she doesn't bring up rescheduling, next. Nothing more needs to be done or said.

 

[RangerMIke]

A flake without a counter offer is low interest. Walk away.

If she flakes on you and never tries to get out with you again, just go find other women. Don't waste your time with women that have no interests or no respect for your time.

 

[snowfall]

I think silence messes these people up the most. You stop feeding them and they go nuts.

 

[Trump]

And have you experimented with different methods if you feel you have nothing to lose? Like saying "I knew you'd flake, made other plans before, no biggie" to mess with them?

LOL. Bro if you say that, they know they have messed with you.

It's been a while but I was flaked on tonight. I asked her to pick a place because I wasn't familiar with the part of town she lives in (a mistake) and got no response the rest of the evening. Whoops.

How do you guys handle it? Probably been covered before but want some fresh takes.

You don't "handle" a flake. If she doesn't say anything, you don't say anything. You move on.

 

[El Payaso]

Responses:

Okay.

Alright.

No problem.

Cool.

No biggie.

etc

 

[RangerMIke]

Flaking will not bother you so much if you set up dates doing what you want to do and just inviting the woman along. The only purpose to a 'date' should be your personal entertainment and enjoyment. She's along for the ride. If she doesn't get on the fun train... well the train rolls without her.

Invite her out for drinks, if she flakes... no problem just go to the bar you were going to anyway and meet some new people.

 

[nismo-4]

I think silence messes these people up the most. You stop feeding them and they go nuts.

Sure, but likely she flaked on you to be with someone better. Your silence is helping her get attention from a guy she likes more than you. Also, she can rationalize that you're silent because she flaked on you.

As far as responses go, I delete the number and go find another chick. Move on, hell, she did!

 

[Slash Dolo]

Thanks for the responses guys. This was kind of a shot to my ego as I've been having good luck recently and made a noobie mistake. Just need to use it as a reminder to stay on my a-game at all times.

My personal thoughts:

In your particular case, I personally wouldn't respond. I'd wait till THURS then text "Hi." If she doesn't respond to that, I would delete her number altogether. If she responds, I would then invite her to drink with me at a specific date, time, and place.

I personally never call them out. When they call or text ahead and let me know that they're not gonna make it, I usually respond with, "That's okay hun. No hard feelings. Have yourself a great night." I rarely ever send out a re-invite when responding to cancellations. If they seem REALLY apologetic and counteroffer with a day and time, I'll usually wait a few hours then accept or reject.

When they no show: I'll wait until the day after to apologize for missing the date: "I am so sorry. I just completely forgot about our date last night. Work has been crazy. I'd like to make it up to you."

I appreciate the personalized advice. This is good stuff. I'll give her a go next weekend the right way and if I don't hear back from her this week I'll delete her number.