What's your longest relationship?

[Mr.Fantastic]

I have been in a relationship for about four months now, and it is the first real relationship i have been in. I am 23, and she is 21. It freaks me out a bit because I'm kinda thinking 'o ****, if this keeps going, and all goes well, is this the girl i'm going to marry?!'. I mean should I be thinking like that? because to be honest, I don't think I want to marry her, but I like her a lot and I don't want to dump her. (one of the biggest reasons that I couldn't see marrying her is that she is prone to a lot of illness and has had numerous medical problems since ive known her, and she says she has had lots of operations etc in her life, so to me this says 'bad genes - not mating material).

Am I overthinking the situation?

I'm just wondering how long relationships generally last for at this point in life...I know that some people stay together forever, and everyone is different etc, but 4 months is not a long time, right?

Anyway, she always wants to define the relationship as serious etc, and recently she has been saying she loves me, she has said it several times now, and i have just made jokes or given her blank looks...she then says something like 'dont get freaked out, do i freak you out?'

The thing is, she does freak me out a bit with how needy she is etc, and how much time she wants to spend with me (basically all the time).

She even said to me the other day that she wonders what I think about things, and that she reckons that I think that if I stay with her much longer then I will have committed and I'll be in it for the long run...and she is kind of right.

I dont know...

this is my first relationship and although it is great now I dont want it forever, I would like to go out with some more girls before I actually settle on one girl, but at the same time I do like her, but I just dont see her as marriage material. With this in mind, should I keep on seeing her? Am I overthinking?

 

[Skytzo_Marc]

End it. You already know that what you want and what she wants are different.

You also said she is prone to illnesses and the like, so give her the time (while she's still relatively healthy) to find someone who does want her.

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

She even said to me the other day that she wonders what I think about things, and that she reckons that I think that if I stay with her much longer then I will have committed and I'll be in it for the long run...and she is kind of right.

Have you lost the ability to think for yourself? She's just projecting her beliefs and what she wants onto you. Just because that's what she thinks does not mean it is reality.

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

Have you lost the ability to think for yourself? She's just projecting her beliefs and what she wants onto you. Just because that's what she thinks does not mean it is reality.

The thing is...she is right! That is how I think and she knows it. I don't see being with her forever, but I do care for her a lot, and I don't want to hurt her. I think she has a good idea that I will eventually break with her, she has asked me several times 'do you want to break up with me?' and the other day she said she was having dreams about me breaking up with her. I mean ****, that is some real perception right there!?

Anyway, whats the best way to do this without hurting her too much, and even staying friends afterward?

 

[Treetz]

End it. You already know that what you want and what she wants are different.

You also said she is prone to illnesses and the like, so give her the time (while she's still relatively healthy) to find someone who does want her.

Totally agree with the above... Let her find someone who cares about her and you go out and do what you want!

If you got the urge to f*ck alot of chicks or something, then do that now! Otherwise you'l regret it later when you are in a serious relationship!

Make sure you dump her first, after hitting on the next broad.