what's wrong with my friend?

[MixMaxster]

I have this friend I've known for about 4 years now and her and her bf have been going out for about 2 years now. Well me and her hung out on New Years and we had a blast. Now she's saying we can't hang out anymore because her boyfriend made her feel bad or that she feels bad or some crap like that.

So I'm trying to understand why a girl who APPARENTLY told me she's in control and that he's not controlling her not to hang out with me, says that she can't. She says she feels bad and I'm like ok so does that mean you can't hang out with guy friends? And she pulled the "would you let YOUR girlfriend hang out with guys?" and I said "yeah, why not?" and she said "you just don't understand." and i said "maybe I don't".

And I've been frustrated ever since. I feel like saying screw it and forgetting about her, but I think it's dumb. Really dumb that a girl I've known for 3-4 years now can't even hang out with me because of her bf, I think the guys a control freak or at the very least jealous. If there weren't any problems, why would he be afraid of losing her?

What do I do with this one?

 

[Jager_Boy]

Who wants there girlfriend hanging out 1 on 1 with just a dude?

 

[SpeedRunner]

dont make friends with females... unless they're single..... and somewhat attactive.

 

[Sugarfoot]

What you do is respect her wishes and stop hanging out with her. A guy not wanting his girlfriend to hang out with a guy doesn't always mean the man is a control freak. Sometimes it's just the way people are raised. I would find it extremely inappropriate if my girlfriend hung out with some guy 1 on 1. What's the point, really?

I was raised this way. My mother never hung out with guy friends and my father never hung out with female friends. They've been together for 28+ years, and they are still going strong. It's a matter of respecting the other person's wishes as long as those wishes don't impose on your principles. You may think there's nothing wrong with it, and you may be right, but it doesn't mean that others who don't share your feelings are in the wrong.


TOOTLES™

 

[Trance]

Let me ask you something. Would you go out with both of them? Or just with the girl?

 

[MixMaxster]

Actually her boyfriend is a funny guy, I talk to him whenever I see him. So I would hang out with them.

As for what everyone else said, ok. Sounds fair, I guess I'm just different in thinking that two people can hang out. I didn't know the only point of knowing girls were to only date and nothing more. But I do guess there's no other point to them.

That's basically what it sounds like you guys are saying from a bfs point of view, but I do understand. As a man in that situation where his gf was mad at him for seemingly having a problem with her hanging out with guys, I figured that women will more likely hang out with a guy friend if their bf was being stupid about it. I guess I still have a long way to go.

 

[Fenderules]

lol thats ****ing retarded.



the bf is insecure and obviously a true AFC at heart.

If a girl did that to me, then i would say "fine be that way, then your never gonna talk to me again"

ANYBODY that disrespects you is not worth your time. chick friend, girlfriend or not, it does not matter. And when she breaks it off with him and wants a shoulder to cry on, i would not give her the time of day. Unless she realizes she ****ed up and is truly sorry i would not bother. Of course she has to PROVE to you that she is worthy of YOUR friendship again. If not, dont even bother.





im not an insecure little ****. I have no prob with a girl im in a relationship being with a friend who is a guy. I'm CONFIDENT enought that she is into me. If she fools around with him, she's gone. By preventing a chick and tyring to control her because you think she would fool around on you.....you are only delaying it when she does.

 

[MixMaxster]

That's how I felt about it too, thanks man.

But in order not to seem irrational, frustrated and like a little kid throwing a tantrum. I feel that she will have to make a choice by telling her bf that he shouldn't worry OR she should stop feeling so guilty all the time. She's missing out on a good friend, she herself said "we click" and well if we click I find it odd that she would be so hesitant to hang out again.

In my opinion friends hang out, that's what makes part of the friendship. So if she's saying it's not her bf that's causing the problem, then what is?

Because I'm ready to walk away from this so called friendship.

 

[dietzcoi]

This seems to be a uniquely young person's issue, I cannot imagine a 25+ year old woman wanting to "hang out" (whatever that is) with a male friend instead of a boyfriend/husband... strange.

Dietzcoi