"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What's up the damn chasing at this stage?!

styleman

Senior Don Juan
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What is up with women and there damn chasing games…

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Okay, so to start of with it is a weird set-up… I like this girl and we date on and off, it has not developed into a relationship… we like each other, but I need to focus on carrier and she understands this. We’ve known each other for a long time, and we don’t see other people.
So I was abroad for a while, whist I was away I get an email from her about some thing she is excited about happening to her, so I reply and say I’ll speak to her when I get back.
So the night I get back I’m sleeping and jet lagged, and I get a text message from her at 1am, so I contemplated not replying, and turning my phone off, but it had been a long time since I had spoken to her, even before I was away, so I reply, and in turns into a conversation of 40 odd texts back and forth, which I eventually have to end at 3am because I was just too tired.
So today, 3 days later I text her in the afternoon, and no reply from her it’s 9.30 pm. I know there is nothing wrong with her because I met her boss on the tube home from work, and she came up in our conversation.
It’s not that I don’t like her, and I’m used to this, because she often does not reply texts, but it feels like bull****, that I’d wake up jet lagged and absolutely knackered because she wants to talk, but if I send her a message, replying does not seem like an issue to her, I act like I don't care, but of course inside I do… it's bull****….
Two reasons for my post, first to get it off my chest, and second to ask are all women like this, or is this due to me not wanting a proper relationship?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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blueguy

Master Don Juan
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3 days? She might be playing harder to get and making you fear losing her (commitment pattern) since you're going too slow for her, or maybe she is just genuinely losing interest, or maybe your text just didn't merit a reply... You can't judge this stuff off one text.
 

Phyzzle

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it has not developed into a relationship… we like each other, but I need to focus on carrier and she understands this.
So you don't want a relationship with her, but you're concerned enough to post here when she doesn't return a TEXT??

Hmmmmm. . . . so which is it? Are you into this girl or not?

are all women like this, or is this due to me not wanting a proper relationship?
The second. It's due to the fact that you aren't dating. You're just some F-Buddy. She's probably out with some other guy who's more interested in being with her.

Besides, enough phone games.

My last gf was always txting me asking how my day was, yadda yadda. When I txted back (sometimes hours later) it was ONLY to make some kind of reference to the next time I see her.
 

Shiftkey

Master Don Juan
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You need to stop being her doormat. If you were tired, texting her could wait for the next day. Infact, I avoid texting completely. It gives the woman too much power to blow you off.
 

ScrewIt

Master Don Juan
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Shiftkey said:
You need to stop being her doormat. If you were tired, texting her could wait for the next day. Infact, I avoid texting completely. It gives the woman too much power to blow you off.
If women have the power, then so does the guy. But i agree on doing away with texting..it's just too convenient to stop texting.

Dont talk so much with a girl unless you're
A) in a relationship
B) you're her girlfriend

Do use the phone to set dates by calling, and talk no longer than a few mins.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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jigga23

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dude you shouldve not had 40 texts back and forth. you shouldve said im good blah blah. then end it say your tired etc. and said ill call you tomorrow or well hang out tomorrow or whenever. you showed way too much interest dude.
 
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